Russian Government Votes 443-0 To Ban International Same-Sex Couples From Adopting

RUSSIA FOREIGN ADOPTIONSRussia took steps toward becoming the world’s largest nation without a soul today, as the country’s Lower House has passed an amendment banning International same-sex couples and single people residing in nations where same-sex marriage is legal from adopting any of the thousands of needy orphans within its borders.

Next on the agenda: Telling every Russian orphan that Santa Claus is not real.

The new development doesn’t come as a surprise, since evil villain President Vladimir Putin has consistently vowed to sign such a bill into law once it survived the State Duma. Following a vote of 443-0 this morning, the bill will now head to the Upper House before landing on Putin’s desk.

The reason for the ban, according to Russian officials, is to “protect” Russian children from equality laws abroad that may put them in danger. “A child should have a mother and a father,” said Duma deputy speaker Sergei Zheleznyak. “A child in a family has an idea of what the world is about. If a child ends up with a homosexual couple it could of course cause severe damage and the child ends up with a distorted perception of reality.”

Really? Tell that to Erin and Elizabeth Czerwinski.

Currently, the Russian government also “protects” citizens from “homosexual propaganda,” orders hits on prominent LGBT activists, and bats lashes at the anti-LGBT hate crimes dominating city streets.

Though the Russian government plans to pen adoption agreements with other discriminatory countries, officials say their adoption agreement with France will undergo major changes following the legalization of same-sex marriage last month.