He grew a beard about a year before I learned that he was gay. I didn’t like it or understand it. But if a man grows a beard, you don’t think he’s gay. In retrospect, I found out that he was taking pictures of his beard and sending them to other men.
—Kiri Blakeley, a Forbes magazine writer who ended a 10-year relationship with her fiance after he came out to her in 2006 before their wedding, says there were no obvious red flags. Besides the lack of sex:
We would have sex only once every couple of months. One time we went eight months without it. But we had been together 10 years. I know a couple right now who just had a baby and have not had sex in over a year. We even went to therapy about it. He would sit there and say, ‘Oh, I’m tired,’ or ‘Yeah, we gotta work on this.’ He never piped up and said, ‘It’s because I like men!’
Blakeley’s book Can’t Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed-Up Love comes out today.