The French Lead in European … Length

“Sacre bleu – it’s not only their baguettes that are the longest! French men have the lengthiest and thickest penises in the EU, according to a new study. The research by the ‘Institut fuer Kondom-Beratung’ measured penises in their erect state belonging to 10,477 brave volunteers from all 25 countries in the EU. It found that on average, a French manhood was 15.48 (6.1 inches) centimetres long with a girth of 13.63 centimetres (5.4 inches). And their traditional British rivals across the English Channel will be spluttering into their tea to discover that their pride and joy comes in 23rd place at 13.32cm (5.2 inches) long and 11.32cm (4.5 inches) around – only ahead of Ireland and Greece! There will by plenty of smug Scandinavian smiles, however, as Sweden scored second spot with a whopping 15.36cm (six inches) length and 12.78cm (five inches) circumference. Germany, meanwhile, were in midtable in ninth with 14.61cm (5.8 inches) and 11.80cm (4.6 inches).” [Bild]

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  • Willie Hewes

    Wonder how they ruled out self-selection of large men. Do those really sound like *averages* to you?

  • Qjersey

    Well the average for “human men” is often given as 5.5-6 long and 4-4.5 around.

    The question is are these averages significantly different statistically?

    And did they control for ethnicity? and what about men of “mixed” ethnicity?

  • tallskin

    I understood that in evolutionary terms women choosing their partners freely means that they choose men with the bigger cocks. This is particularly true in pre-agricultural societies, before 10,000 years or so ago when we were acquiring our human characteristics over hundreds of thousands of years of hunter gatherer societies. You can see the female fertility and phallic statues from this long period of human history in books and on the internet.

    Cos humans have much larger cocks than our nearest ape cousins like the gorillas and chimps.

    It would therefore follow that in patriarchal cultures where women are controlled through religions etc the average size of cock will tend to be smaller.

    Ergo, kill off the vile sky god religions, thus freeing women and within a few generations our cocks will start to become enormous!

  • REBELComx

    Didn’t I read a study some time ago showing that Gay men, on the average, have larger penises than straight men? I had always thought it was just in Porn, but apparently it’s true…need to find that link.

  • zzhh

    Define “French.”

    Isn’t this study skewed by the large numbers of Algerian and other immigrants?

  • andy

    I thought poland would have been first.

  • LiirOfElphaba

    Oh please people. Many tests have been done over the past century on penis sizes, and the average size of a penis has ALWAYS been between 5 and 6 inches. So you size queens out there are as deranged as those ancient females. And if ancient women did really chose their mates by cock size, it was based on superstition, since size has no bearing on fertility.

  • Paul Raposo

    Oh! So that’s why Americans hate the French. Well, straight American men anyways 8^)

  • Dougy Mckay

    How very intersting, I wouldent argue with the findings as I all ways thought the French men were big Dicks

  • kevin

    Everyone knows that the country with the largest penises is and always has been the United Republic of Manhunt. Average dick size: 8″

  • Rigato

    Now the question remains…did I really, really need to know this? No, no I didn’t.

  • michael

    Here in Canada it has been my experience that the French Canadian guys, at least gay ones, are packing huge cocks. So I will
    go along with this study. Also, most German guys I have known pack large sausages.

  • ioni

    And my experience tells me that the Irish are the most… err… gifted?

  • EdWoody

    @michael: I was gonna say Germans, too. From my experience, it seems to be a national requirement that all Germans are enormously well-hung.

  • ioni

    Ah, EdWoody!
    We all sre know better then this Kondom-Beratung institute!

  • Pragmatist

    I’m surprised that Dutch men didn’t take the lead. They’re… impressive.

  • ioni

    Aren’t we all mad about the size…
    THis is a bit sad…

  • Distingué Traces


    Mark of an idiot: bloviating in faux-scientific terms about trivial subjects.

  • tonybd1975

    What about the HUNGarians?

  • Jake H.

    ok why is nobody asking the most pertinent question here: were these measurements taken flaccid or erect?


  • tallskin

    Distingué Traces if you think cocks are a trivial subject then I might politely suggest that maybe you are on the wrong website. Maybe you could track down some tits&arse straight site and beat off there.

  • Charles J. Mueller

    @Dougy Mckay:

    And here I always thought all the big dicks hung out in Scotland Yard? ;-)

  • dzerobc

    It is really tough to believe these studies. I am just going to have to insist on some hands-on anecdotal evidence. I might have to conduct my own research into this penetrating topic.

  • L

    The French also get my approval for knowing how to dress to properly display their big cocks. No baggy pants and boxer shorts for les francais.

  • Phoenix (The Dippy Hippie One, Not the Pale One)

    @ Kevin,

    Lately it has grown to 9″.

  • Rob

    English men 5.2 inches on average? Wow that is super small I don’t believe that, The average asian man is about that big.

  • steve

    These people really have to come to Africa.Mozambique in particular.I once saw a black lorrydriver peeing against his vehicle trying his best to cover his monster but though he had huge hands he only had two of them.He needed at least double that to cover that spraying hose.I almost fell off my bicycle from shock and lust.In all the years on the internet I never came accross his equal

Comments are closed.