Technology advances at warp speed. And that means if you’re in the online dating pool, you’d better keep up if you don’t want to be left on the digital sidelines. The game changes, and fast.
We teamed up with Compatible Partners to find out some trends they’ve been following in the last five years. It’s not too late to snag that perfect Valentine.
In honor of Cupid’s holiday this month, Compatible Partners is offering their users free services all weekend! From Thursday February 12th through Monday February 16th you can review your matches and send them messages at no cost.
Here are four new rules of dating you might want to consider:
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Rule #1: Multi-dating is the new norm
When online dating first emerged, it opened up a whole new world. Suddenly, it wasn’t so hard to arrange a date every weekend. But that was just a warm-up phase. The convenience of modern dating platforms makes it possible to communicate and meet up with potential love interests as often as you’d like — and we’re not just talking 3AM Grindr dates. That means more people are keeping multiple dates in their hip pockets. Better not to put all your emotional eggs in one basket if you want to stay afloat in the dating pool.
Rule #2: Attention spans are at an all-time low
Leaving dating apps and websites aside for the moment, consider the energy pulls that people face on a daily basis. E-mail, Facebook, Twitter, Queerty (naturally), Instagram, Tumbler, etc. All of these services have combined to create an atmosphere of instant gratification. Add back in all the avenues for finding Mr. Right and you’ve got yourself some serious competition for attention. That means your profiles need to reflect the best image of yourself. If all you get is a fleeting pause during a two-fingered page scroll, you’d better make that second count. Check out our five easy tips for a better online dating profile if you need some pointers.
Rule #3: There are many fish in the sea
No, we don’t mean dates — that’s nothing new. The fish we’re referring to are the dating platforms themselves. Just like you shouldn’t put all your emotional eggs in one basket, only using one dating site or app doesn’t do your dating life any favors. We hate to sound so transactional about it, but diversify your platforms and you’ll see your love life blossom in new ways. There’s no harm in trying out a new service — you may be pleasantly surprised.
Rule #4: Dating is an industry
Online dating isn’t the only thing that’s evolved in the last five years. Dating itself has become a major industry. A simple Amazon search reveals entire books on the subject — Gay Men’s Guide to Love and Relationships, Gay Dating 101, and Gay Dating Success to name a few. There are coaches who make a living off getting people prepped for diving into the dating pool. Your job is to see it all for what it is, recognize when and how to take advantage of all the great resources out there, and decide when to just let your intuition be your guide.
JJinAus
I know I am old, but if I had to date now, I think I would rather be single. I am fortunate, but we had to work hard to meet people. It all seems so vapid.
Ridpathos
@JJinAus: It’s not. Queerty just makes it seem that way with its low moral outlook.
When I was dating, (only a few years ago) I broke every one of the rules on this list.
1. I chose one guy to pursue. 2. I gave him all of my attention. 3. I used one dating platform (OKCupid). 4. I didn’t see any coaches or read any books about it.
It’s thinking like the one in this article that cause people to pop in and out of relationships like they’re nothing, and some gay guys always wonder why their guy doesn’t stick around when they think and operate in exactly the same way as the guy that is cheating on them. This is a rule book for getting into a BAD relationship.
Paul Nadolski
I don’t multi-date. Either you’re dating me or you’re dating someone else. That’s just a no-go in my book. If you want to be with someone else, it’s over. Because clearly I’m not giving you something you want…and/or you’re not going to ask me for that something at any rate.
As for online dating, I’ve had ZERO luck with it. All the guys I’ve dated/been with I met in person, and for the most part we were friends first. Granted none of those relationships has worked out, but I still have more confidence that I’ll meet Mr. Right in person and not via my phone and a dating app (that’s really just used for hookups anyway).
broadshoulder
To be honest – give me the old school.
Smoky pub, plenty of alcohol, decent tunes, and just staggering over to one that you fancy…
chstennis54
@broadshoulder: “In other news, speakeasies are making a comeback. More news when prohibition is over.”
SebX
@Paul Nadolski: I totally agree. If I had a good time on a date with a guy, why would I look for someone else instead of trying to meet up with him again?
Multi-dating isn’t for me… even less so open relationships. I’d rather be single than put up with a guy whose definition of love doesn’t match mine.
redcarpet30
Multi-date? You mean a handful of pretty privileged non-committal queens like to fuck around other peoples emotions be damned and act like that’s how it is for all gay people?
Queen please. Keep your confirmation bias to yourself.
mikespurts
I’m an older man and I’d love to date. But what sites do we older guys go to?
Evji108
Online dating reduces a person to a set of stats and a few photos, which is fine if one has all the “correct” stats and one looks great (or appears to) in pictures. Unfortunately once your age, weight, and other stats don’t meet the ideal, you are fucked, because one gets ruled out without regard to inherent qualities as a human being. In other words, meeting people solely based on online profiles is extremely superficial and ultimately dehumanizing. Meeting people in person may not give you as much technical information, but the subtleties of that persons humanity are there to feel, see, touch and respond to on the spot. There’s a lot lost in online dating, and a lot of people are getting left out because they don’t meet the popularly recognized specifications for dateability.
Good looks: check, Muscular hairless body: check, Big Dick: check, Age 18 -34: check, Position Top: check, Personal Qualities: Superfical Asshole.
The irony is that in few years this guy will have to start lying about his age or will also be left out in the cold. What a sad superfical world we have created for ourselves.
Tracy Pope
“Multi-dating” sounds like “Tricks. With dinner”.
Captain Obvious
People don’t want to meet naturally anymore, they want to instantly skip to dating. There used to be a courting period where you just got to know someone over time and now it’s skip months ahead straight to dating. Then people wonder why it never works out.
At some point skipping ahead will get old and people will go back to the method that actually works.
Realitycheck
It is so sad that part of today gay culture is this empty headed, flaky and
completely unrealistic talking about anything, like the article above proves.
Intelligent and logic are grown a side for that “flaming nonsense”,
It is like watching a live version of absolutely fabulous, except in real life
it is not funny.
Perhaps people like the writer of the above article, have neither
logic nor intelligence to begin with.
Few things I know about dating:
1) Choose the right person, don’t waste your time going
after a liar or a cheater, or some one with problems bigger then the empire
state building, there are plenty of good guys there.
2) The law of attraction is simple, when some one likes you is not
going to look for more dates.
3) Respect and love yourself, don’t put yourself in bad situations.
4) You can meet that right guy anywhere, at a bar, on line, or walking by
the supermarket.
wade.l
1980s…go to bar, hookup, have meaningless sex, then do it all over again.
2015….search on whatever site, hookup, have meaningless sex, then do it all over again.
Nothing has really changed.
Sweet Boy
Rule #5: Don’t swallow on the first date…
nocibur61739
1980’s…go to bar,(early 20 year old) meet prospective partner(s), Don’t run to have meaningless sex, get to know one another, did’nt work out all the time, so what? Would like to think that is why I am still here…
2015…(now made it to my early 50’s…some did not.) 🙁 In a 20 year relationship with committed partner. Healthy, wealthy and wise. Grew up and am GLAD I do not want/need these “dating” apps. They are good for some but, I am comfortable knowing I am where I am at in this time of life. People still give these days but, one needs to be careful of what they RECEIVE. (It may not be something you want.)