The Slap-Happy Judge Accused of Trading Slaps for Sentences? Aquitted!


There will be no jail time for ex-judge Herman Thomas, whose stood accused of giving criminals lighter sentences if they let him spank, fondle, and sodomize them.

Initially facing 20 years in prison, jurors found Thomas not guilty on five counts of sex abuse and one count each of sodomy and assault; they couldn’t reach a unanimous decision on 14 other charges (sexual abuse, assault, and attempted sodomy) so, citing a lack of evidence, Special Judge Claud Neilson acquitted him on the remaining counts. Just one judge looking out for another judge?

But the best part of this courtroom drama is Thomas’ defense attorney, Robert “Cowboy Bob” Clark, who shouted, “The right verdict — I told you, didn’t I?” You so did, Cowboy1