The Smurfs: Downsizing Vanity, Supersizing Tim Gunn

You’d never know it from watching the trailer for the terrible new 3D feature The Smurfs, but Hilary Clinton-bashing Tim Gunn has a small role—as someone exactly like Tim Gunn but infused with even extra Tim Gunn. His official credits-roll name is “Henri,” pronounced like it’s French, no matter that the character is straight-up homo yank.

It’s weird to watch the Project Runway mentor glide through his scenes, up-gaying his  persona and tossing out amplified style-maven lines, like “Presentation is everything!” He even tells Neil Patrick Harris to “Make it work,” as though he took acting lessons from Optimus Prime and then grew himself into a 50-story-high Tim Gunnbot.

Meanwhile, we were kidding a while back when we worried about the fate of our favorite Smurf, the coded-gay Vanity. But it turns out we weren’t far off the mark: Voiced by The Daily Show‘s John Oliver, Vanity is in the movie, as are his trademark accessories, the flowery hat and hand mirror, but if he spoke more than two bits of dialogue they now live in a digital edit-cloud. Our outrage is hereby renewed for the next several minutes.

There. Now you know everything gay about this movie that doesn’t involve Neil Patrick Harris or a trio of inexplicable party-scene cameos by Joan Rivers, Liz Smith and Michael Musto.