When news broke that “Copacabana” crooner Barry Manilow had secretly married his long-time “friend” and manager Gary Kief, we were happy for him but not entirely shocked. The 71-year-old veteran performer has been setting off people’s gaydar for decades, yet he still chooses to remain closeted to mainstream audiences. Think Liberace.
But it’s 2015, and certainly audiences could handle rethinking songs like “Can’t Smile Without You,” “Could It Be Magic,” and “I’d Really Love To See You Tonight” in the context of same-sex affection. They’re just songs, anyway.
For whatever reason, Barry has gone out of his way to quell rumors.
Here’s how:
Downplaying his early career start accompanying Bette Midler at a gay bathhouse in the ’70s:
It’s fairly common knowledge that Barry got his start at the Continental Baths in New York City, performing for crowds of gay men clad only in towels. Interestingly, his official bio doesn’t mention it. In 2002, he said, “That’s such a bit of misinformation. There was one bathhouse, it was called the Continental Bathhouse and I worked there for two weekends and Bette worked there for about a month of weekends and that was it. I accompanied her for two weekends there and then we went on to a lot of nightclubs around New York, Chicago and L.A. and she exploded like a year later. So it really wasn’t ‘gay bathhouses.’ I don’t know where that came from.” It probably came from the fact that it was a gay bathhouse. There’s an entire video of the two performing there.
Making homophobic comments on stage:
During a 2004 concert at New York City’s Madison Square Garden, Manilow was setting up to sing a duet with Brian d’Arcy James. He told the audience, “Of course, we’re not going to sing it to each other—that would be creepy.” Really, queen? Barry’s people put out a statement that “the line was meant lightheartedly,” and that Manilow was “very sorry if he offended anyone.”
Editing his first wedding story:
Barry wed his high school sweetheart Susan Deixler in the ’60s, but the marriage was doomed for obvious reasons. In his 1987 autobiography Sweet Life, Barry doesn’t even mention her name, but describes her as, “adorable, small with great legs and a voluptuous figure.” On January 6, 1966, an annulment decree was signed. A cousin of Deixler claims that “the marriage was annulled for not being consummated.”
Babak Bijarchi
I don’t know if I should still enjoy his music or be disgusted with him. For his comments and not having come out sooner. We need these types of strong influential people and his comments while also being gay were hurting our community
Dave Basora
Virtually every celeb that’s come out has had a period, however brief, where they’ve either avoided commenting on their orientation or made statements that deflect attention. Why do people keep harping on what they’ve done instead of what they’re doing now?
toronto
Good for him. But, let him live his own life, and he can do what he wants.
jason smeds
Barry sang some great songs. My favourite is Mandy. He is singing about a woman, not a man, mind you.
Vegas Tearoom
PaleoGay comes out of closet. Quelle surprise! Any ‘Mo born before 1969 that comes out is just one big mouse fart.
petensfo
It’s easy to be dismissive of Manilow’s actions but America was very homophobic & entertainment as well, through most of his career. The world has changed, but Manilow hasn’t lived in the ‘real world’ for a long time. The fact that it’s confirmed by People mag tells you all you need to know now.
Stache99
@Vegas Tearoom: You sir are the reason I come to the Queerty comment section. Hearing your gems of wisdom make me smarter.
martinbakman
Weekend in New England.
Cam
Also remember, the media refused, and even now refuses to ask normal questions of gay celebs.
How was Neil Patrick Harris outted? Easy, there were multiple pictures of him for YEARS that were available walking along holding hands with a guy or other situations like that, and no media every asked him who he was dating or posted any of those pictures.
Finally Perez Hilton ran a picture of him and David Burtka walking holding hands. Now for other reasons, Hilton is a douchebag but when NPH is walking around holding hands with a guy, and photographers are around, it is weird to think that it never occurred to anybody that somebody someday might actually run one of those pictures.
Bromancer7
You also have to remember 99% of the people who come to his concerts are middle-aged straight women. I can’t blame him for wanting to keep his sexuality a secret.
I mean, if you loved your job, loved everything about it and everything you do, and made tons of money, would you jeopardize all of it by revealing your sexuality if you knew there was a chance you could lose it all? I’m not sure I would. It’s one thing to be out and proud, but it’s another to cut off your nose to spite your face.
Times are changing, and coming out gay doesn’t necessarily ruin a career like it might have in the 70s-00s, but there is still a stigma, and it still can make it difficult for out actors and musicians to get work. I don’t envy their position, and certainly do not begrudge them for wanting to protect their livelihood.
MiltonandRobert Appleby
He owes the public nothing. Seriously, it’s his life and choice regarding coming out.
1898
Watch the movie “Unconditional Love” (Kathy Bates, Dan Akroyd, Rupert Everett). It features a singer who is adored by middle aged women and is secretly gay. And, perhaps not just a coincidence, he sings Barry Manilow songs.
Jennifer Mercury
Guys like Barry Manilow and Freddie Mercury were making it big in a time when coming out would have destroyed their careers and made them into nobodies. We would not have even heard of them if they had come out before they were successful. Given the choice between that and this, I’ll take this.
misterhollywood
Love this story:) What’s even more interesting are the number of “Fanilows” I am seeing on the web who are shocked at the news that Barry is gay and that … oh my … he’s married!
He was of a different era to be sure. Looks like he made it:)
Wilberforce
Careers have always been problematic. After 40 years, I’m still not out at work, nor are most gay people I work with. The reason is simple. There are homophobes out there, among workers and management. And they can make your life a living hell. Who needs that?
Cam
@MiltonandRobert Appleby: said… “He owes the public nothing. Seriously, it’s his life and choice regarding coming out.”
______________________
Stand up off your fainting couch and breathe. This article was “HOW” he had managed to stay in the glass closet all these years not an indictment on him for doing so. Calm down.
xzall
@jason smeds: Maybe you’re being sarcastic but the song Mandy wasn’t even written by Manilow. The original title of the song was Brandy but Manilow changed it to Mandy because there was already a song out called Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl) No matter, I could see Manilow singing it while imagining a guy named Randy.
xzall
Barry Manilow also didn’t write Trying to Get the Feeling Again but the lyrics easily could be about a closeted guy who married a woman.
“Doctor my woman is comin’ back home late today
Could you maybe give me something?
‘Cause the feelin’ is gone
And I must get it back right away
Before she sees that I’ve been
Up, down, tryin’ to get the feelin’ again
All around tryin’ to get the feelin’ again…
And I’ve looked high and low
And everywhere I possibly can
But there’s no tryin’ to get the feelin’ again
It seemed to disappear as fast as it came
tricky ricky
@jason smeds: it was about his dog, brandy, a beagle. I’m just that old to know that.
VivaViejo
Go back to 1977, the time of Anita Bryant’s hate campaign in Miami; both Barry Manilow and David Cassidy came out as being bisexual.
Cam
@VivaViejo:
Do you mean David Bowie? Or did the guy from the Partidge Family really come out as bi?!
redcarpet30
I think a lot of people enabled his closet. Unitil the last decade or two heterosexuality wasn’t just assumed it was the default unless you specifically said otherwise, even with evidence to the contrary.
I always wondered why everyone looked the other way at his bathhouse days. No straight man would have been caught dead back then in a bathhouse, let alone in a towel. I don’t care if he was paid to play the piano and nothing more or not.
gaypalmsprings
@jason smeds: Actually Mandy was originally called Brandy. Brandy was his dog. Since Looking Glass already had a hit song with another song named Brandy, the song was changed Mandy. That was clue from the very start. People in Palm Springs have always known Barry to be gay, and we LOVE Barry!
mz.sam
Barry finally broke the glass closet only because in today’s society people don’t give a flip who he’s bottoming down the nuptial isle….well, except for the homophobic anti-gay States. Best of luck Barry bitch.
DarSco
Show business is a sorta effed up industry! Its all smoke and mirrors lol Raquel welch is latina and had to change her name, Italians changed their names, light skin Blacks have an advantage over dark skin blacks, being NON THREATENING is an advantage! Barry had to make a living and being gay YEARS ago was not acceptable as it is now! most you criticizing the guy know this lol Hateful Kunnts
DarSco
Oh Yeah! Congrats Barry!
TheFabulousThomasJ
Sorry, Gang; until Barry Manilow publicly says the 1-2-3 words, the stories of him being gay are false. He himself has denied being gay for decades.
Cam
@TheFabulousThomasJ:
I LOVE the weird LCR or Freaky lefty trolls in here.
Facts are facts. So you’re saying that if Michelle Kwan never said the words “I am a female” or “I am Asian” that any stories that mentioned she was a woman, or Asian were false?
Matt
Barry Manilow is a great singer and performer. I saw him in concert years ago. I’ve known he was gay for years. When you have an early marriage that breaks up and never marry again that’s usually a sign right there. When you never date women, that’s another sign. When you sing in gay bathhouses. It all adds up. Congrats on the marriage!
LadyL
@xzall: Yeah, I noticed that too, and I’m sure that was part of the song’s appeal for Manilow, a way to talk about his real feelings in a safely oblique way.
Blackceo
I legitimately did not know that Barry Manilow was gay.
Cam
Good afternoon, your secretary called, your lunch has been rescheduled, the decorator will be arriving to take office measurements for the redesign of your office (NOT in the style of Downton Abby), and oh, she’s also made an appointent for your gay-dar to be re-tuned. 😉
wpewen
To me this is really funny, in an O.K. way. I’m from the 70’s, no way a fan, more like an Eagles listener, the type of LA male who’s not into Bette Midler too much, accused in the past of “being in denial” because I’d rather listen to Neil Young. But Manilow was around then, very talented, schmaltzy, yet I still like some of his music (not the disco stuff Copacabana or whatever). He filled a niche, and can really write, more than I can say for most new acts I have heard.
He is really good at what he does, and in the early 70’s, hip, in a NY/Peter Allen sort of way. And believe it, in those days some pretty studly NY/LA Westside straight bachelors dug that stuff, maybe still do. It’s part of whole “showroom” mentality and some people like it.
If Manilow wants that zone, let him have it. Still beats Taylor Swift in any incarnation.
Allan O'Shea
He came out, that is all that matters now. Forget the past.
Liam
While it doesn’t please me that Manilow took so long to come out, at least he isn’t like all the Right Wing gay a-holes who are in the closet yet rabidly vote against anything pro-gay.
Desert Boy
Barry Mannequin is nauseating in every way.
His music is dreck, his phony-baloney anti-gay stage remarks and his steadfast refusal to admit who he is (sorry, but being 71 doesn’t give him a pass — think Johnny Mathis).
Barry Mannequin lives in Palm Springs, CA and has actually done fundraisers for RWNJ political hacks like Mary Bono and Mitt Romney.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Nancy Reagan was speed-dial.
Desert Boy
@Matt: “Barry Manilow is a great singer and performer.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh.
Desert Boy
@jason smeds: “Mandy” was about a dog. Not a man or a woman.
Freddie Ball-Aldana
Ariel Flores Ball-Aldana
jason smeds
When struggling singers are offered a gig, they’ll accept it. They’ll perform in an alley so long as there’s an audience.
Performing in a gay sauna is odd but don’t forget that it’s an audience. The customers might all be ugly and paunchy but it doesn’t matter.
Alan down in Florida
Barry Manilow wrote the greatest closet song ever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKbVlpJa83U
Angus Brooks
I agree 100percent…product of the 1950’s thinking…However piano..bathhouse..nudge/nudge…wink/wink
Norman Bedard
I knew him in 1969 when h
Norman Bedard
was with Bette Midler in Providence, RI. nice guy.
Kangol
People in the threads keep saying Barry came out, but the point is, he didn’t! The wedding was secret. He has not yet said publicly, I married a man because…I’m gay.
Miss Thing should take a few more baby steps, out of that glass closet, though anyone who’s listened to his music or watched even a few minutes of one of his performances knows that despite the denials, Miss Barrysha puts the Q in Queen.
Clark35
Congrats to him; but I thought it was obvious for decades he’s gay?
monroeplace
To read that Barry Manilow might have done benefits for Mary Bono (WTF) and Mitt Romney (WTF x 100) places him, in my opinion, in the ninth circle of hell. Or worse. All kidding aside if this is true as a resident of Palm Springs we pass his house almost every day so I’ll be sure to look up and give it/him the finger.
I do know that Suzanne (I’ll sell anything) Summers is a GOPer from way back and made many inflamatory remarks about President Obama when he was running for re-election. She was the perfect “best man” for Barry’s big day which is great.
As far as him being in the closet? Well I was at the Continental Baths and he played great piano while the Divine Miss M. knocked it out of the basement. No one gave much thought about his sexual orientation but he loved to camp it up (as we used to say) and play to the boys. Also I seem to remember that Bette and Barry performed there more than a couple of times but that was a long time ago and who’s counting?
monroeplace
Oops. Let me clarify the sentence (She was the perfect “best man” for Barry’s big day which is great) It should have read: She was the perfect “best man” for Barry’s big day – good for him. As for Suzanne I do not consider her participation as something great. At all.
Realitycheck
The more I look at the picture, the more I am amazed that some one so unattractive can have a
boyfriend, don’t take me wrong, I happy for him, and he is definitely a very talented man,
but that face OMG that face…….
dbmyers
@TheFabulousThomasJ: I don’t think he has to say your precious three words (“I am gay”) because he already said two more important words (“I Do”) . . . to a man! Enough said.
dbmyers
@Liam: You said it!!!
jason smeds
Some of you are incredibly naïve to believe that Mandy was marketed to dog lovers. The simple fact is that it was marketed as a song about a romance between a man and a woman. Songs by men that are romantic in nature are always about love between a man and a woman. It’s the only way they are going to sell.
Women would never buy a love song designed to be about a romantic love between a man and a man.
Sluggo2007
I’m happy for him. All you bitchy, jealous queens that put him down should remember that he rose to fame at a time when you had to stay in the closet or face career suicide. It takes balls of steel to do what he did. We are fortunate that he was able to share his great songwriting with us. Not a big fan of his voice or delivery, but there were some great songs written by him for himself and for other artists as well.
Matt
@monroeplace: That’s great he did benefits for Romney and Bono rather than Obama. It just means he’s not following any kind of gay agenda.
Realitycheck
@Sluggo2007:
True but those times are long gone and it would be nice
if now that is career is over, if he were to speak in favor of gay rights or
oppose anti gay legislations.
After all his marriage comes as a result from gay activists fights
for all gay people.
NJjoe
Why he had is beyond me? I suppose he’s been fortunate, but it’s been no secret for decades. As working at the lightman for a well known gay disco/nightclub in Philadelphia in the 80’s, Barry would often come in, sometimes after a show at the major arena, and I suppose when he was in town. His presencenever gave anyone including patrons a second thought. He would come in ( called ahead ) with his people in tow and come upstairs lounge overlooking the dancefloor. He was always very nice and tipped both the DJ and myself with a $100 bill. Of course is was well dimmed upstairs but he never appeared to me as nervous. He would come in around 1AM and stay for about an hour and then off into the night. Why he waited so long to come out? I always thought it was common knowledge Manilow was gay. By the way Barry, thanks for those $100’s.
NJjoe
I forgot to mention, Congratulations of your nuptials! I do agree his marriage comes at the fight from gay activists. No doubt about that. I really don’t think had he “came out” earlier that it would had any influence on his career. He has a strong, loyal “Fanilow” base. I don’t expect him to become an activist either. He’s always led a quiet life and I think it will remain that way.
Sluggo2007
@Realitycheck: I’m sure, now that he has finally come out, that there will be more support from him for his gay brothers. Oh, by the way, his career is definitely not over. He is still recording, selling albums and touring (not that he has to).
Kieran
I remember being at a picnic in the early 1990s and the discussion of music came up. A girl matter-of-factly assured everyone that, “Barry Manilow is god!” She seemed absolutely sure that everybody would agree with her. I wonder if she would have been quite as emphatic had Barry been openly gay back then? Maybe. Or maybe not.
Saint Law
@jason smeds: Women brought the records of David Bowie, Culture Club, Soft Cell, Erasure and now Sam smith and Adam Lambert in droves.
Again, it isn’t the fairer sex who are to blame for your continuing sexual failure. It’s you, you rancid old fruit.