Tired of Being Alone, John Is Ready to Give Up Being Gay. Bad Call, Brother

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We know John spends plenty of time in gay bars, because the last time we saw him he was delivering a few simple rules about what not to do at gay bars, and he wouldn’t just hand out that advice without doing his research! But maybe John, 22, spends too much time at these establishments, because it has him thinking all homos are just into the physical (okay, sometimes true!), which is going to leave him single forever. And he’s ready to abandon the whole gay thing! Ready for sweeping statements and generalities? Awesome!

“I’m done,” says John. “Done with the whole thing. Done with the whole gay scene. Done with the whole materialistic, judgmental, wearing the hottest seasonal outfits. Not me. It’s not me. But being straight isn’t me, either. Nothing’s me.”

This is giving us the sads. John says “I wish I could change it sometimes,” and by “it” he means his sexuality. But what John forgets, of course, is that heterosexuals are, very often, equally obsessed with looks. And also: John is not bad looking. He is quite cute, actually. His flying solo through life (through “all” 22 years) has less to do with his sexuality, and more to do with circumstance and outlook.

“It’s hard. I’m not gonna sugar-coat it: It’s fucking hard to be gay and okay with your sexuality and to be okay with who you are in this world. It sucks sometimes.” This is true. But in the end, we wouldn’t trade it for anything. Would you?