NO HOMO BRO

“Totally Straight” Men Who Enjoy “Circle Jerks” And “Frat Initiation” Star In The Latest Andrew Christian Promo

dsc_0081_1We have no idea what a “bromosexual” is, but if we were to define one after watching the latest Andrew Christian promo video, we’d say it’s as a fashionably inept, mean-spirited and unkempt gay man who enjoys erotic wrestling and hanging out with drag queens. Occasionally, the bromosexual is invited to parties.

According to Andrew Christian, “a guy who is bromosexual is ‘totally straight.’ In fact he will punch you in the face if you say that he’s gay. He’s so totally straight that he has sex with tons of chicks…so he says.  Sure his bro might be in the room with him, maybe videotaping it (with lots of close-ups of the penis)… or doing the same girl at the same time… with their penises touching…”

Oh! Okay.

Additionally, the bromosexual “always hangs out in the showers at the gym… and yeah, maybe he was in a few circle jerks in middle school… and sure he puts his penis and testicles on his friends’ faces every chance he gets when they’re passed out drunk… and sure that frat initiation thing was a bit weird, but… he is ‘totally 100% not gay.'”

What a great message for a “gay-friendly” advertisement!

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