WATCH: An Animated Guide to Fondling Your Balls to Check for Cancer

Okay, let’s make 2013 the year that you didn’t get testicular cancer! Or, at the very least, the year that you caught it early enough to treat.

There’s no guideline for how often you should perform a self-test. But why wouldn’t you? Your balls are right there, after all. You might as well give them a little rub. Several times a day if possible. Really get to know them.



Start by getting warm and relaxed, so your skin loosens up. A bath or a shower is a good opportunity to prepare. It’s also a good opportunity to get clean.

ferris shower


Hold your penis out of the way. And anyone else’s penises that happen to be down there, too.



Grab one of your balls in both hands and gently roll it between your thumb and forefinger of each hand.

kneading dough


You’re looking for a hard lump. If you find one, call a doctor.

lump off


Other warning signs:  One of your balls changing size from month to month, pain, or more fluid than is normal.



You can give your dick a little pat, too. Sure, why not. It’s been good today. It’s earned it.



And you can also help a friend do his inspection. Remember to be gentle.

hit in the nuts


Congratulations on fondling your way to better health! You are now an expert in balls. Well, human balls, at least. There are still other kinds of balls out there.

cake calls