Jesus is Magic

WATCH: Apparently The Lord Doesn’t Do Summer Fridays Either

A Queerty reader sent us a link to this evangelical YouTube clip from VikHockey34, in which we learn that even though you’ve booked a share in Provincetown, you don’t get to take a vacation from Jesus.

At first we thought it was a joke—He talks in such “bro speak” we couldn’t imagine he was a serious holy roller. And the shirtless flexing is so gay, it can’t even rightfully be called subtext. But skimming other clips—Imminent Rapture ( Salvation, Do You Have It?), Where Is The Promise Of His Coming?, Wake Up! Wake Up! Wake Up!—it’s clearVikHockey34 is seriously trying to save our souls. (Thanks, Hon!)

Is this muscle missionary a closet case? There’s something about his intensity that suggests he’s trying to fight or hide from something. And there’s that reference to being excited about reconnecting with a “person” (he’s careful not to use a particular pronoun) that sniffs of the closet. But whether he’s grappling with his sexuality or just hearing voices, there’s one thing that’s clear: That boy just ain’t right in the head.