Which American Idol Guys Scream ‘Queen?’

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On Tuesday night the Top 12 guys on American Idol took the stage in a two-hour episode, which means we were glued to our TiVo for about 35 minutes. The question on our mind? Not who would make it to the final two, but:

Which of these fellas plays for our team?

Here’s their introduction from Seacrest. Now, your guesses.

It’s a multiple choice poll – ’cause you know there’s more than one homo in the line up – so choose all who you think swing the gay way. (Sorry, no obvious Sanjaya vote this year.)

And not to sway your vote, but is it just us, or does Danny Noriega remind you of a certain YouTube personality?

(Are we totally gross for running this poll? Perhaps. We’re sure you’ll let us know in the comments.)

After the jump, some performances from a “select” few.

David Archuleta:

Colton Berry:

Jason Yeager:

Danny Noriega:

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33 Comments

  • justin bright

    Hmmm…my often inaccurate gaydar skillz tell me our team queenz consist of Noreiga, Archuleta and Yeager in that order. I’m getting mixed signals on Berry and Castro, but thats probably cuz I’m horny.

    Me thinks Noreiga will be a fag of the Jim Verraros variety, out and proud. Yeager I’m not too sure. Archuleta will be in denial until he has his legs wrapped around the neck of one of his frat brothers in college – then he’ll sober up and be in denial again. But fear not my brethen each of these three like sausage.

  • hells kitchen guy

    You mean people still watch that ridiculous show?

  • juliananderson

    David Hernandez spent some time stripping at Dick’s Cabaret in Phoenix, AZ.

  • hisurfer

    Here they come again, little lambs eager for the slaughter. I’m with HKG – how is this show still around? They look so young and innocent, but they also made me ears bleed so I’ve got no pity for the horrors that await them.

    But even if I don’t watch the show, the clips are still fun to watch!

  • jester

    I love American Idol, and anyone who makes fun of that can kiss my large hairy ass.

    No question about Danny N. Gay Gay Gay.

    Colton almost certainly gay.

    Archuleta could be a QIT, but it just could be that “aw shucks ain’t he cute” that throws off the gaydar.

    David Hernandez is one of those perpetually closeted gays.

  • katelady

    It’s fun. Thanks for your posting. I would like to share it with the people on horsematch.com.

  • kiltnc

    Yeager sexed up a girl once and only once and that resulted in a child. Yeager is on our team…so my Gaydar tell me so.

  • Joe

    Of course you’re gross for running this poll, but I totally thought the same thing. I didn’t watch the auditions, even at Ryan’s intros at the beginning, I thought, “HOLY SHIT, there a a lot of mo’s on AI this year!!” Danny Noriega – girl, please. Colton Berry – so cute. So gay. Jason Yeager – what, did you have your son when you were 12? Condoms, teens! Wear ’em! Also: gay. Garrett Haley – love the 70’s Leif Garrett look! So gay. Sadly, I don’t think any of them will make it to the finals.

  • Timothy

    I was having a hard time finding the straight ones!! Ohmigod it was like karaoke night at West Hollywood’s Fiesta Cantina – sure there are some straight guys there but they are few and far between.

    We were convinced that at least five of the boys play for our team. At one point the camera flashed to one guy’s mom and obvious boyfriend. It was just hysterically funny last night.

    Danny – duh!! Colton was claiming to be a lesbian? Jason brought his son… without any mom in sight. Garrett talks in falsetto? I don’t know about David A, he’s just a little boy still but he certainly works the gay vibe.

  • hells kitchen guy

    Maybe if you didn’t plant it in front of the box watching shit like this, your ass wouldn’t be so fat …

  • Chubarama

    It’s too bad Chikeze seems to be pretty much in the breeder category.

  • Bitch Republic

    David Archuleta is a star. Super.

  • Jon B

    OMG! Thank you for finally posting about this. Danny is fantastic! So gay, but he’s out and proud, so it’s no fun guessing. He can entertain me for hours. He’s totally the new Christian from PR. Colton is 100% gay, not even a question, he doesn’t try to hide it, he’s just not as naturally fabulous as Danny. David A. sets my Gaydar off everytime I’ve seen him, but he’s Mormon and they always throw a wrench in the equation. Jason Y. could totally be gay. He reminds me of John Barrowman a lot! So cute though, and his son is adorable. Finally, Garrett… I don’t even know what’s up with that one. His voice is so strange. I can’t tell if he’s gay or if his balls just haven’t dropped yet. Could go either way.

  • Alan down in Florida

    Agree with Bitch Republic. This is a two horse race between him and the Aussie hunk. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that they both closed out their hours.

    Also agree with Jester. David Archuleta looks pre-sexual, either orientation. Will probably need to butch it up a little for success – then again Miss Aiken never has and is now a closeted has been. If he’d come out he might actually sing a love song with some credibility. Right now he sings like someone who never felt real love and that spoils everything out of his mouth.

  • Walter

    You forgot the gayest (and most affected) guy on the show: Ryan Seacrest.

  • gabrielle

    Like, wow! It was only tonight that I found out that David Hernandez is gay. I wasn’t surprised for the fact that I noticed his not so manly mannerisms early in the show. Still love him though, gay or whatever, he’s still really hott. Love him to bits! :)

  • JJ

    Ya know, i honestly dont believe that David Archuletta is gay… I think he’s just an adorable 17 yeard old guy who is awkward and a little goofy, but I’ve never looked at him and thought “oh he gives off a gay vibe”.. I just think he’s a little goofy, and 17 year old guys should be. They dont all have to be super fabulous or even have a ton of charisma at their age… they’re just growing up and I think that’s all there is too it. I was completely shocked by David Hernandez though.. I wasn’t thinking gay at all for him and after find out he worked at a gay strip club, I have no idea what to think. Maybe he worked there cuz he made more money … but I didnt catch that one at all if it’s actually true.

  • kevin

    I feel bad for David A because the Mormon Church from what I understand is a horrible place for gay people, but there is no freaking way that kid isn’t gay.
    I mean he may not realize it yet because he’s had a shetlered upbringing, but COME ON. How can you see/hear that clip of him at age 12 belting out “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” from Dreamgirls and have even a shadow of a doubt that he’s family? That is not the run-of-the-mill musical theatre gaydar false-positive, that’s just 100% no use denying it gay. He’s one of those people you bring up when arguing with the idiots who think it’s a choice and nobody is born gay.

  • josh

    o common gays who dreams all men would all become gay-shut up. david archuleta is not gay. you americans gay does not know about that the gayness is what the heart dictates, and not merely on your gaydar senses. better know the person first before making nonsense prediction or judgements.

  • fredo777

    I still love Idol + will watch it as long as there are contestants whom I find talented + worth watching. This season hasn’t disappointed + I liked David A. ever since I watched him compete in + win Star Search.

    As for the sexuality of the guys, I don’t really care. I have my guesses, but it doesn’t really matter. As for Josh’s “common gays” rant…perhaps you should calm the f*#k down, son.

  • huntington biotch

    I love doing Starbucks and then Lacrosse Unlimited after….

  • Will

    David Archuleta is a conservative Mormon boy, so if he is gay he’s undoubtedly in deep denial. I’m guessing he feels really nervous when he’s around Danny Noriega, and doesn’t know why.

  • Barb

    Hi…I just got done reading most of the posting and I have to admit they are pretty funny. I am not gay and I don’t think that David A. is either. I just wanted to read what others thought about some of this years contestants. I did a search after I found out about David H. What a shocker…they do say that the good ones are either GAY or Married. He is a hottie. I knew from the start that Danny was, he seems very open about it, not that there is anything wrong with it. My brother is gay and I love him tons. Infact he is my step brother and I am closer to him then my blood siblings. We get along great. I believe that we can’t help who we fall in love with, and I am not here to judge anyone. I wish peace, love and happiness to all regardless of your sexual preference. As far as the rest of the guys….I don’t think Jason is, didn’t pay much attention to Colton or Garrett. Not to sure about Jason Yeager, he does nothing for me so I don’t care. As a female who enjoys men…LOL…there aren’t really any men that turn me on this year. LOL, I do like Ryan and that is really disappointing. Luke is okay, but he can’t sing very well. Anyway…thanks for the post and enjoy life…Peace & Love!!

  • josh

    oh that was supposed to be “come on, gays” not “common gays”. take note fredo777. I think you shud be the one to calm your fuck down- you defensive immoral and fag

  • fredo777

    Josh, get back to me when you can write a fully coherent sentence. Thanks.

  • PanchoCruz

    ALL MEN ARE GAY. WHY ? BECAUSE MEN LOVE SEX AND ONLY OTHER MEN CAN GIVE US THE SINFUL PLEASURABLE SEX NO WOMAN COULD EVER IMAGINE. YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT, SO GIVE IN TO YOUR DEEP ROOTED GAY DESIRES BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.

  • fireshriek

    Noriega was obviously a fag. To bad he was always just a little too uncomfortable to make it entertaining. My theory is that Danny and Colton were knockin boots before he got one. Luke Menard’s sexual preference really doesn’t matter (total queer) because even though he’s hot, when he opens his mouth everyone (and everything) falls asleep. And anyway, how hard is it to convince a straighty to shut up and get sucked? David Hernandez is absolutely gay. He tries to butch it up for America, but given his past and that tell tale way his lips curl ever so slightly when he sings those big notes totally screams queen, not to mention his rockin body and his little outfits with matching shoes. Jason Yeager is a homo from back in the day that made a mistake or two along the way, namely, sticking it in whatever popped that kid of his out. I smell cover up, and it reminds me of Filet of Fish! Ugh. Lastly, there’s the ever so adorable and cuddly Archuleta. It’s a little statutory rape, but i’d totally do him and make him sing while he finished. No really. I’d do him hard. And yes he’s definitely gay. He’s on film, randomly singing “I’m tellin you” to Kelly Clarkson at age nine in a lobby full of people. I’m not sure if any situation has ever been more gay. Ok, so that’s my spin. If you disagree, you’re gaydar’s broken. laters.

  • josh

    im sorry fredo777. dont mean anything about that or any of the issue posted therein

  • josh

    im sorry fredo777. i dont mean anything about that. actually, i only just care with david archuleta. im not supposed to criticize here. sorry again and thank you

  • josh

    who would believe other than pancho cruz that all men are gay? that is preposterous though i respect your opinion.

  • fredo777

    Apology accepted, Josh.

  • josh

    thank you fredo777. i just wish to write you in email. i hope you dont mind. thank you again

Comments are closed.