Woman Sues Not-Gay Massage Therapist For Relieving The Tension In Her Breasts

Dear straight ladies: Do not let any massage therapist, whether you believe he is straight or gay, rub up on your titties if that is not the type of service you were after. One Jersey City woman learned that lesson the hard way, and now she’s suing for it.

During a Tuesday afternoon massage at Club H Fitness, the 20-year-old woman says she consented to having her breasts and butt massaged because she thought her 30-year-old masseur was a homo. Then she found out he had a girlfriend and was all, OH HELL NO.

The woman said she was receiving a massage at Club H Fitness, on Christopher Columbus Drive, at about 3:15 p.m. Tuesday when the massage therapist asked her if she wanted her “glutes and breasts” massaged, reports said, adding that she says he told her it was a regular practice. She consented and the massage therapist removed all her clothing and proceeded, reports said. She told police she felt uncomfortable but “was under the impression that it was a regular practice” and she believed the suspect “was of a homosexual orientation,” reports said.

Later she told her father, who called the club and police, reports said, adding that the victim’s boyfriend works at the club. After someone told her the therapist has a girlfriend and the club manager told her the massage was not proper, she filed charges, reports said. The victim said she has had numerous massages, including ones administered by the suspect, and had never been touched that way, reports said. A warrant for the man’s arrest was signed at 8:44 p.m. Tuesday.

Now as a human being who does not have tatas, I can never say I’ve had my breasts rubbed down. But my chest and ass? Yup. At a legitimate day spa, thank you very much. And it feels wonderful! Not like a violation. Apparently the club manager agrees.

The club manager told police the suspect told him the woman had consented to having her breasts and buttocks massaged and that it was a normal massage practice, reports said. […] Joel Lewis, a massage therapist with Massage Envy on Maxwell Lane in Hoboken, said yesterday it is not unusual for massage therapists to massage the buttocks or glutes, assuming the client consents. But a special certification that requires certain course work is needed to perform breast massages, he said. “They (massage therapists) are not allowed to touch that (breasts) unless they are certified,” Lewis said. “Whether the massage therapist is gay or straight doesn’t matter.”

Which does not, of course, mean this woman was not violated by her massage therapist. Because some folks might go too far. But lady? If the therapist was doing his job, and you consented to the treatment, then it doesn’t matter two shits if the man touching your private areas is gay or straight.