World Ends As Scheduled. Zombie Fundamentalists Blame Gay Marriage

hellOkay, so the world didn’t end—at least not yet. (Hey, don’t be so disappointed!)

But those fundamentalists sure are good for some doom-and-gloom prognostications: Take Linda Harvey, head of anti-gay hate group Mission America. In a radio address earlier this month she declared that if marriage equality persists, the Second Coming might be a freaky gay wedding:

“A Christian concept that illustrates the unchanging standard of man and woman as the model for marriage: in the New Testament, Jesus is referred to several times as the ‘bridegroom.’

And when he returns, he will return as a bridegroom seeking his bride: the church, which is the body of all believers, also called the Bride of Christ. It’s a beautiful analogy.

What happens to such a concept in a same-sex marriage? Does Jesus as bridegroom seek another groom?  No, that would be a twisted and frankly offensive spin on a profound and marvelous concept.”

Y’know we don’t understand what the hell she’s talking about (and we’re fairly certain she doesn’t either), but it’d be worth having the world end just to see fiery imps poking Harvey in the ass.

Source: Pink News

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  • 2eo

    Second coming? how can their be a second when there wasn’t even a first?


  • Dakotahgeo

    “… fiery imps poking Harvey in the ass.” = If those imps had any class or self-respect, they wouldn’t get near Harvey’s ass or any other part of her. She’s just another blowhard from the windbag right wing fundies!

  • Charles175

    Linda Harvey is confusing the spiritual aspect of the wording of “bridegroom” with what is done here in the flesh. She knows not what she is saying.

  • Taliaferro

    Linda Harvey’s has an agenda which is anything but Christian. She is ignorant, hypocritical, and evil. One wonders what happened in her early life to make her so anti-gay. Why do these extremists so long for the end of the world? Are we not meant to enjoy the life God gave us?

  • rand503

    If Jesus ever did come down, Linda Harvey would be the first to persecute him. His message of love would damn him to cruxification all over again.

  • Dana

    If Jesus was a real person and alive today, he couldn’t be elected as a republican if he tried. He would be branded a socialist and told he was a godless heathen.

  • Dakotahgeo

    @Taliaferro: You must realize that one of the major tenets of the Zombie Fundies is that if THEY’RE not happy, they don’t want ANYONE to be happy. So much for the “Happy are they…” people!

  • GayBacon

    I’m gonna yell out Linda Harvey’s name tonight when I’m bumping uglies in downtown Houston’s South Beach :D

  • GayBacon

    yell out *Linda Harvey*…..smh

  • Hunter

    OK — so if Jesus is the bridegroom of the church, and the church is the body of his followers, then — bingo! He’s married to men as well as women.

  • anubis0614

    2eo ….Jesus’s first coming was when he was born in the stable in Bethleham.

  • jmmartin

    There is a certain irony here. The pre-Columbians in the Yucatan became the subject of codices with hieroglyphs depicting rampant homoerotic and other “filthey behaviours” offensive to the macho bastards on horseback and the black brothers in their sackcloth. They destroyed ithyphallic and other erotic statuary, destroyed the Codices, and, in the case of Cholula, Mexico, built cathedrals on top of indigenous temples in their rabid attempts to impose a foreign god upon the Mayan pantheon. I am only afraid that the same fundamentalists in the U.S. will use this for their post hoc argument that “You see, I told you so, the bible doesn’t mention 21 December 2012 at all. Not time for the Rapture, yet.”

  • Jimcracky

    Since the Church is known in the Bible as “The Bride of Christ” and Jesus as “the Groom” I guess every man in the church is already in a same-sex marriage. Huh, they should get over it, doncha think?

  • Banane

    I believe that Jesus was Jewish and believer in that faith, nowhere does he say creat a new church in my name. The Roman Catholic Church is purely a man made invention, it bares no resemblance to what Jesus was preaching. He said that people should not pray to Icons or Graven Images of idolatry, and that Church with the majority of it’s offshoots use them in it’s buildings and liturgy. He does say go and spread the word of God, and that he welcomes all people into his arms.
    Could someone tell me exactly how many times this unpleasant American woman has actually been married? Is she looking for a new husband, is that why she preaches all of this vile stuff?

  • Banane

    What gets me about all these so called Christians is their real belief that they, and they alone will be entering the kingdom of heaven. That all the nauseous bile they preach and believe in ensures them a one way ticket, I think they are going to get a shock when the time comes. As a truly good person does not publicise their goodness, they do not even think they are good just quietly doing good things unnoticed.

  • Dakotahgeo

    Banane, I am an ordained Christian minister and your comments are spot on the mark! I see daily many, many people who are Christians, and more than a gutful of people who are christians! There is a big difference between big C and little c! We refer to the christians as American Christian Taliban, whose main purpose is to glorify self rather than God. Will they be surprised about Heavens’ final saved inhabitants?? Oh myyyyyy…!

  • D9W

    Wow… And not one person pointed out that Jesus had two daddies.
    I am sure glad that my church is helping out with her sky is falling stuff.
    Seattle First Baptist Church had 30 gay couples married this month on the first day it was legal here in Washington State (see Paster Craig Darling}http://live.huffingtonpost.com/#r/segment/seattle-washington-same-sex/50bff75502a7605028000a7d.

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