It was very important to me never to pretend, never to hide. In 1985, my partner Brian and I were new in the business and were not comfortable letting people know that we were gay. We had separate apartments. We went about our business. We met this lovely married couple down in the grocery store below the apartment building where we all stayed. A month later, we finally had the courage to come out and let them know that in fact we were a couple. They said, ‘We knew when we saw you shopping.’ … [Being pushed to come out publicly] wasn’t so much about being uncomfortable being gay, it was about being uncomfortable … Like the bully on the playground was pushing your face in the dirt saying, ‘Say it, say it, say it.’
&mdadsh;David Hyde Pierce, currently starring in Broadway’s La Bete, on why it took until 2007 for him to go public about partner Brian Hargrove [via]
Cam
“”Like the bully on the playground was pushing your face in the dirt saying, ‘Say it, say it, say it.'””
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It only would be compared to that if you think “Gay” is a bad thing to say.
Tylertime
“Bullied” into coming out?!!?!? He and his partner were together over 20 years before he came out. I guess that “bully” wasn’t that intimidating if it took that long. DHP is 51 years old and doing the math it seems he was 26 when he met his partner. So he was probably pursuing a gay life before then. I think waiting close to 30 years to come out when you live in NYC and work in theatre is a bit odd.
Rick Gold
I knew he was a homo the first time I saw “Frasier.”
Remember Maris, the wife we NEVER SAW?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maris_Crane#Maris_Crane
Perhaps we were being told something?
I wonder.
slobone
He pretty much came out when he tried to play a straight guy in love with a woman on Frasier and failed miserably…
Benjamin
He should crawl into a cave with Sean Hayes.
alan brickman
big fail david…
Toby
Man, it would have been really hard to be openly gay in 1985.
I mean I can rip on him for not being a better person than me…but it feels better for me to realize that he’s just as human as me.
RomanHans
No, it’s like everybody asking “Why are you so ashamed?” and never giving them an answer.
Personally, I was satisfied when he said, “My life is an open book, but don’t expect me to read it to you” — meaning he was afraid to come out. It was a great line, and expressed an honest emotion other than “DON’T ASK! PLEASE DON’T ASK!”
Mike in Asheville
Not sure what has happened with the “Thumbs Up // Thumbs Down” as I know I would be getting a ton of Thumbs Down.
Just who the fuck are all you people deciding just how others should or should not be?
I have known David and Brian, not super well but my hubby and I have exchanged hosting small dinners including mutual friends with them, 20+ years (well before “Fraizer”).
There is a significant difference between hiding in the closet and not being public. We would see David and Brian at all sorts of public events, as a couple, as contributors, as hosts for OUTFest (the LA gay/lesbian film festival), HIV/AIDS fundraisers, entertainment events, etc. They are always a couple, out and in the open.
So he didn’t show up on Oprah jumping up and down on the sofa shouting his love for the world to see. Get over it; live your own lives as you see fit. David owes you nothing so stop exacting your demands that he fit your demands.
Cam
@Mike in Asheville:
Blah Blah Blah Blah,
The same type of B.S. that Rosie O’Donnell put out there. She says that she never hid in the closet, and yet when she would talk about how fullfilling it was to have adopted children she always seemed to forget that the reason she was able to have adopted children while she was off in CA. working was because she had a wife at home taking care of them.
And she wasn’t trying to hide when she would constantly talk about being in love with Tom Cruise. Come on, she was out to the friends she had dinner parties with.
Please, it’s just pathetic. If hyde wants to come out now, good for him, but for him to sit there and claim he was bullied into it, just shows the sad, arrogant little victimogy crap for personality he has.
Here’s an idea David, stop being ashamed of yourself and it won’t seem so bad.
CJ Maciejeski
@Mike in Asheville: Hey, thumbs up from me. I just don’t understand why private affairs of people suddenly become EVERYONE’S business because they are celebrities. I long for days, before i was born, when you didn’t know everythin–right down to dick size–about every f*cking person on tv.
And to those who bitch: soooooo…you came out to everyone you ever met as soon as YOU knew you liked similar naughty bits to your own on a partner? I think not.
CJ Maciejeski
@Cam: Personally, i don’t think it’s an issueof shame, per se. I’m trans. I own it. Fuck, i’ll pretty much talk downright frankly about it to anyone who shows actual interest. I don’t, however, feel the need to write a press release. I think personal, private information about one’s sex life or genetalia is right at the effin’ TOP of a list of things that one should be allowed to be open or reserved about on a case-by-case basis. It’s just really none of anyone else’s business. You, sir, assume too much.
Cam
@CJ Maciejeski: Said..
“I think personal, private information about one’s sex life or genetalia is right at the effin’ TOP of a list of things that one should be allowed to be open or reserved about on a case-by-case basis. ”
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I think it says a huge amount about your own internalized homophobia, that you would compare mentioning the person that you have had a loving relationship with, to talking about dick sizes or what you do in the bedroom.
So when Merryl Streep thanks her husband at an awards show, according to you that is the same as telling the world she likes to get spanked and pissed on?
To compare David Hyde Pierce admitting that he has a husband to that is just sad. I feel kinda bad for you.
BjBien1010
I don’t think DHP ever hid the fact that he was gay. Many in NYC knew this and it wasn’t really hard for anyone to make the leap but I think everyone here is being really stupid of these matters.
DHP never slammed gay rumors or avoid questions for personal gain [ala ADAM GLAMBERT]
DHP never played gay on a show.
DHP never went out of his way to avoid talks regarding his private life.
I don’t understand how him deciding on HIS OWN TERMS to come out is an act of being a coward.
I dont understand the QUERRTY readers.
You HATE bullies but don’t mind gay celebrities being bullied into coming out?
Does being gay and wanting to have a private life make you a criminal?
All this talk about INTERNALIZING HOMOPHOBIA is also bullshit.
I work at a place where no one knows I am gay and that is the way I want to keep it. Why?
Because there is no one there I’d ask for a favor, to come over to my home for dinner, or to borrow change for the vending machines.
If you however feel the need to share such things, then more power to you but considering I would never bring my partner to work or want him my horrible job [which sadly pays INSANELY well], why must I share something I love at a place I loath to be?
CJ Maciejeski
@Cam: First off, you’re the one talking about spankings and golden showers. Maybe he wanted to keep his private life private because he didn’t want you and people like you dictating the terms of his disclosure about his love to anyone, much less everyone.
And just by the way, shut up. Just because I respect a man’s right to not jump around on a couch declaring his love (as if it is anyone’s business but his and his husband’s) doesn’t mean I have any kind of internalized homophobia. Maybe YOU need everyone to know intimate details (note, this does not necessarily imply sex, ya piss queen) about your life, but as a fucking FREE AMERICAN, DHP has the right to disclose OR NOT whatever parts of his life he chooses, including who he loves.
Maybe he just didn’t want all of America all up in his marriage. Maybe he wanted his life with his husband to be about the two of them, not about YOUR desperate need to make private matters into topics of public discussion, so YOU can feel a little more normal. Maybe his relationship with his husband was his refuge from this kind of public scrutiny. MAYBE their love is real enough it didn’t need the approval of you.