Ed Farrell, vice mayor of the Arizona town of Maricopa, says he can’t log onto the internet without becoming paralyzed by the fear of finding naked pictures of himself.
“My heartbeat go [sic] up every time I go to the Internet,” he told the Maricopa Monitor in an interview. “I think ‘is this the time, is this the time?'”
That was Tuesday afternoon. To understand just what Farrell is talking about, we need to go back to 8 a.m. last Monday.
It all started when the vice mayor praised the late Fred Phelps on his Facebook page after being misled by an article published by The Onion titled Fred Phelps, Man Who Forever Stopped March Of Gay Rights, Dead At 84.
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“We need more Fred Phelps in this world. May you rest in peace sir,” Farrell wrote on his Facebook wall Monday morning.
Within seconds, someone asked if he was kidding. He replied:
“No, I’m not kidding! This world needs to get back to the biblical standards that our God made for us. This guy was not afraid to preach it, and I respect that.”
More and more people asked Farrell what the hell he was talking about.
“I am just having a hard time with all of this gay and lesbian rights thing,” he wrote. “It has never been an issue until these kind of people made it an issue.”
He then went on to detail a bizarre experience at a Washington D.C. health club, where he claims a male employee crept in and took pictures of him in the shower with his cellphone. “What in the heck makes these people think that they are so entitled?” Farrell asked. “Yes, he was fired immediately! I don’t get it? It’s sick!”
In an interview with Maricopa Monitor, Farrell says he was confused about who Fred Phelps was. Initially, he claims he thought Phelps was a Kansas-based minister, not the hate monger responsible for protesting U.S. soldiers’ funerals.
“I had no idea who this Phelps guy was, I had no idea about the publication the Onion,” he explained. “I was just simply scrolling down my news feed and saw this article.”
“I had no clue about this guy; he’s an idiot,” he continued. “I can’t believe that I posted what I posted… Shame on me.”
And as for that whole nonconsensual shower photo shoot, evidently it haunts him to this day.
“I have nightmares about me seeing my naked body on the Internet,” Farrell told the Monitor. “My heartbeat go up every time I go to the Internet, I think ‘is this the time, is this the time?’ It scares the crap out of me.”
It scares the crap out of us, too. But for entirely different reasons.
RomanHans
Let me get this straight. A health club employee snapped a picture of Farrell naked in the shower. Farrell noticed and complained to management, and the man was “fired immediately.” Farrell probably said, “Hey, how about deleting the photos from his cell phone?” and the manager probably said, “Gosh, I don’t know how,” or “I don’t know where he keeps his phone,” or “It’s his phone, and it’d be an invasion of privacy.” So they didn’t. They let the laid-off man keep the photos, knowing his conscience will keep him from sharing the photos with anyone. Yeah, that sounds logical.
Apparatus
And the phone camera didn’t break?
SteveDenver
Now I’ll be paralyzed by fear when logging on that nude pictures of this puffy puke will scar my monitor.
mcflyer54
Something really fishy about this story. Didn’t know who Phelps was but praised him anyway? Didn”t know the Onion was a humor paper even though he read an article about someone (Phelps) he never heard of? Got a gym employee fired for taking a nude picture but wasn’t smart enough to be sure it was removed? There man seems tto have something missing, like maybe a little common sense.
jckfmsincty
What a buffoon.
hyhybt
If you don’t know what the Onion is by now, you deserve to get treated as if you knew.
manxxxx
ROTFLMAO!
This is just too darned funny.
And to think this guy is a politician.
Ooops! Sorry. It is Arizona after all.
Arkansassy
The first line of The Onion article says Phelps is credited for ending the gay rights movement in America. It continues to credit him for accomplishments in limiting gay rights which he didn’t actually accomplish. The Phelps Farrell praised from the misleading article was even worse than the man was in real life – yet he still wrote words of praise. This guy knew exactly what he was advocating and is now desperately trying to undo the damage.
Read the Onion article.
manjoguy
What should “…scare the crap out of…” Queerty equally should be “Leland Yee, 2 Other Democrats Suspended From CA. State Senate.” We’ve got gullible(buffoonish) politicians as well as those lacking in integrity and character(criminals, actually) ruling over us. What are we to do?!
Ted Lemen
When loco is that? Looks like one I had done once for Frisco 1352.
PARKAVMAN
If I saw a picture of him naked, I’m sure it would blind me.
ParkerSparx
I have nightmares about me seeing his naked body on the Internet.
jwrappaport
Hey! Arizona isn’t all bad.
Chmcneel1
@mcflyer54: that’s the problem with common sense, it’s not so common.
Goforit
@manjoguy: OY! Do I smell yet another troll on this site? It does get so tiresome. JB is that you?
Dakotahgeo
@mcflyer54: One word: Republicon-TeaPod
Patsy Stoned
This freak also changed his “health club” employee story a bit, depending on who he was lying, er, talking to….one time he said the employee was caught immediately. Another he said the employee ran off.
Another gay-hater who can’t keep his story, um, straight.
HirsuteOne
The QUEERTY standards must be slipping. I clicked in fully expecting to see the naked pics of this d’bag.
D9W
Talk about a legend in his own mind.