In Pakistan, It’s Now Illegal To Text About Jesus Christ’s Satanic Monkey Crotch

Since the Pakistani government punishes homosexuality with prison time and whippings, it makes sense that their Telecommunication Authority has decided to start blocking text messages containing the words “lesbian”, “gay” and “bisexual.” What’s really odd though is the thousands of other words they’ve also blocked such as “Jesus Christ,” “satan” and “monkey crotch.” We’ve pulled the weirdest words from the official list and most of them also make great pet names.

Here’s the worst of the best:

Anal Annie
Ass puppies
Assklown
Axing the Weasel
B Hard
Bazongas
Butt Stain
Clam Digger
Cock Queen
Crotch Monkey
Cum Bubble
Cum Fest
Cum Quat
Cyber Slimer
Datnigga
Dixie Dyke
Flogging The Dolphin
Foot Fuck
Fuck Monkey
Glazed Donut
He Hate Me
Hershey Highway
Homobangers
Hoser
Ingin
Insest (their spelling, not ours)
Jap Crap
Juggalo
Kotex
Lactate
Lady Boog
Lesbain
Lesbin
Lez Be Friends
Lucky Camel Toe
Man Paste
Mastrabater
Mattress Princess
Neon Deon
Nit Tit
OICU812
PHQUE
Pudd Boy
Rent A Fuck
Sex Farm
Slut Wear
Smagma
Sperm Herder
Swingn Dixx
Tit Bit Nipply
Trisexual
Virgin Breaker

The list has become an object of ridicule on the internet, but what’s really interesting is the fact they didn’t ban the word “transgender” or “transsexual.”