They say revenge is a dish best served cold. But how cold is too cold? That’s what one U.K. man wants to know as he contemplates hooking up with his cheating ex-boyfriend’s brother.
“I’ve been flirting with my ex’s brother for a few weeks via Grindr after my ex and I broke up about a month ago,” Tom writes to advice columnist and author of Journey to Fatherhood Simon Hill. “I caught him cheating on me with some guys. We were together for two years and were about to move in with each other.”
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Tom says he was left “heartbroken” and “infuriated” over his boyfriend’s string of infidelities, and he now feels the man “needs to be taught a lesson.”
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“I’ve been chatting with his brother who is also gay and he seems to be fairly up for a meet and muck about,” he continues. “He knows that we’ve split. So I’m wondering if it’s okay to have a bit of fun?”
In his response, Hill writes, “In a word ‘No’.”
He continues, “Not because it’s the right or wrong thing to do, but because you’re not thinking about what’s best for yourself. The saying goes ‘all’s fair in love and war,’ and sleeping with your brother’s ex would be just as fair as everything that has gone before.”
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But, Hill says, “you don’t want anymore to do with either of them.”
His solution to Tom’s problem is pretty straight-forward: “You need to accept your pain, release it through crying, getting drunk with friends and maybe a one night stand with a stranger–anyone but your ex and his brother–then to rebuild yourself over time,” he advises.
What do you think? Should Tom go ahead and sleep with his ex’s brother as an act of revenge, or should he engage in some other form of self-destructive behavior instead? Sound off in the comments section below.
DCguy
How would sleeping with the guys brother teach the guy a lesson? It wouldn’t sounds like he is just looking for an excuse.
David G. Abler
Sound advice
Tait47
That is really petty. Just move on and grow up.
onthemark
Why is this idea automatically “self-destructive”? Or even “revenge”? Here’s a radical thought: the brother might actually be a nicer guy.
John Malin
Go buy a new suit or something. Revenge sex is the worst!
NateOcean
While it might seen fine to get revenge on the cheater, his brother is not part of this transaction. Further, using him, just to get back at the cheater, means you are treating the brother like shit. And what did the brother do to deserve that?
SpireaX
Yes, it is perfectly acceptable for two consenting unrelated adults to hook up. Let’s not pretend that the brother is blissfully unaware of the motives for the hook up. Ultimately, theirs is the only opinions that matters.
avesraggiana
Girls, girls….just, stop. Please.
Stached1
This is why they hate us.
CivicMinded
I’ve heard quite often of straight people who were dumped, started dating their ex’s sibling and that person turned out to be the right one. If he has a genuine interest in the brother I say go for a date, not sex. Dating would be more likely to frost the ex’s cookies. The ex had no problem with sex outside of commitment. What does he think of having an ex as a brother-in-law?
brandon
i’d hit it.
tusgold
i did since10 it wasn’t revenge
highestbidder
@onthemark: it’s revenge because the man asking the question said his ex “needs to be taught a lesson”.
silveroracle
Get over it and get on with your life. Why should you sink to the same level.
Find that man who really does care about you.
Sluggo2007
Did he ever consider that the “ex” might not even care? Once somebody is my “ex,” I really don’t give a hoot what they do.