These Boys Be Cold Bitches!
 

jaroslaw.jpg
“Gay” may have once meant “happy,” but there’s nothing jolly about this collection of crazy queers.

Sure, there are some great homos out there – countless, in fact – but some men loving men made their mark with tooth, nail and pure, unadulterated evil.

Thus, without further ado, we present to you some cold bitches, including this lovely gent: former Polish Prime Minister Jaroslaw Kaczynski. Sure, he's only "allegedly" gay, but that doesn't mean he can't be a nasty queen!

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Andrew Cunanan: Don't be fooled by his good looks, California-native Andrew Cunanan had a heart of darkness - and a shiny pistol. He used said pistol to murder five people over a four month period in 1997. Cunanan’s most famous victim, of course, was fashion designer Gianni Versace, who Cunanan assassinated in front of the fashion designer’s Miami mansion. Prior to that encounter, Cunanan shot and killed former Naval officer Jeffrey Trail and architect David Madson, both of whom were friends. Some friend, huh?

From there, Cunanan booked it to Chicago, where he killed real estate mogul Lee Miglin, whose car he stole. Realizing that coppers would be on his tale, Cunanan ditched Miglin’s wheels and took Pennsylvania caretaker William Reese’s truck. As you can imagine, the price was Reese’s life.

All this psycho bitchery landed Cunanan on the FBI’s most wanted list, but authorities never got a chance to take him in: Cunanan shot just before being captured.

Fritz Haarmann: Cunanan's not the only queer serial killer - and he's certainly got nothing on German-national Fritz Haarmann. Most of you probably don’t recognize this man’s name, but perhaps you recognize his nickname, the Butcher of Hanover, a moniker he earned for the 24 murders he committed between 1919 and 1924. And these were no “normal” murders. Haarmann picked up gay prostitutes or other down-and-out men, took them back to his place and screwed them twice: first in the butt and then in the neck, which he bit through and led them bleed to death. Such a task takes a great amount of work, so Haarmann allegedly got some help from his live in lover, who served twelve years in prison. Haarmann, meanwhile, was executed.

Emporer Nero: Sure, “gay” didn’t exist in the Roman Empire, but gay acts sure as shit did, and Nero had a number of flaming flings, including one with man he had previously castrated. So, what's so evil about this guy? Well, aside from the conquering and pillaging, Nero wanted to rule Rome so badly that he killed his adoptive brother. Then, when his mother objected to his tyrannical ways, he killed her, too. A grown man murdering his mama? Icy!

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Comments (27)

No. 1 · I'm So Sure, Helen

Oh No! Jerry Falwell has risen from the grave and is now in charge of Gay History Week at Queerty. I feel so anti-proud of my roots!! Got any evil hairdressers up your sleeve?

Posted: May 2, 2008 at 6:25 pm
No. 2 · PJ

Jeffrey Dahmer, anyone?
How about John Wayne Gacey?
Captain Hook. He spent all that time chasing after Peter Pan.
They are all ice queens, if you ask me.

Posted: May 2, 2008 at 6:31 pm
No. 3 · John

Maybe I'm missing something…I often do…but this seems a really odd entry in the blog. Is there a particular motivation?

Posted: May 2, 2008 at 7:08 pm
No. 4 · Tim in SF

Cunanan was not a serial killer, he was a spree-killer.

Posted: May 2, 2008 at 7:51 pm
No. 5 · andrew

Oh, Jerry Falwell my ass. The fact of the matter is that there are plenty of naughty gay boys and girls (cannibalistic Mr. Gay UK, anyone) and to pretend like there aren't would be short-sighted, naive and downright foolish. Why can't we all have a laugh at bad gays?

Posted: May 2, 2008 at 8:13 pm
No. 6 · mag90069

Wow. The level of ignorance here is astounding. Since when has any serial killer or mass murderer or generally creepy person been described as heterosexual? I don't remember anyone talking about the hetero Pol Pot. Yeah, and that straight dude, Kruschev in Russia. He was bad. But no one ever says remember that straight guy in the Soviet union who killed 50,000 people.

Doing crap like this only justifies straight people doing the same thing. Which we all hate. Grow up Queerty. You suck. In the gay and bad way.

Posted: May 2, 2008 at 8:27 pm
No. 7 · Kieren

This isn't funny or useful. Bad, Queerty. Bad!

Posted: May 2, 2008 at 9:00 pm
No. 8 · Sammy C

Psh. What about Joe McCarthy?

Posted: May 2, 2008 at 9:11 pm
No. 9 · MJ

To include Cecil Rhodes is totally retarded. I suppose Queerty prefers Zimbabwe to Rhodesia, though. They left out Clyde Barrow, Panzram, the Kray brothers, the bisexual Charles Manson, the bisexual Rev. Jim Jones, Keth Chester Hill (of Baytown, Texas, the black male charged last year with sexually assaulting several white males- considered the U.S. first serial rapist) and the Queerties themselves, who STILL haven't corrected their part as co-villains in the Duke lacrosse rape hoax.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 12:10 am
No. 10 · MJ

Sorry, obviously I meant to say first serial rapist of MALES in the Hill case.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 12:13 am
No. 11 · Kid A

Arg. Bisexuals always get the bad rap.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 3:09 am
No. 12 · Charley

We Gays are inately gentle and good people, although I feel like shooting the TV when FOX news shows it's face.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 5:08 am
No. 13 · Charley

Queerty, you are funny and the bad boy on the block. Some of the politically correct bureaucratic bloggers that I know come here, Pamshouseblend, Bilerico, Interstate-Q and others visit you regularily if not daily, but they don't have you on their recommended reading lists. Maybe they are ashamed at a site being too outrageous and sexual. Very funny.
Keep up the good work.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 6:39 am
No. 14 · I'm So Sure, Helen

Oh wait, it's all coming back to me, now — those hilarious stories of wacky, sociopathic killers who happen to hunt same-sex victims as the target audience for their knee-slapping comedy routines. I mean, what's funnier on the naughty scale: the contents of Anna Nicole's refrigerator or the contents of Jeffrey Dahmer's? Thanks for being there to remind me of the laughter.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 7:03 am
No. 15 · I'm So Sure, Helen

PS. I, for one, love your blog, Andrew, and visit regularly.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 7:06 am
No. 16 · neroX2

This post was really interesting and unique.. Can't wait for part two!

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 12:21 pm
No. 17 · Szymon Niemiec

Jaroslaw Kaczynski…. yeaah… every gay person in Poland "knows" something about this men. And no one has courage to say it clearly…

I am wondering, when some journalist check, why before he become PM, he visited Amsterdam many times…;)

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 12:25 pm
No. 18 · Doug

J Edgar Hoover

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 12:56 pm
No. 19 · Paulo

Eileen Wournos and one of the Kray Brothers was also gay and

What about all those Catholic priest pedos, just because it's same-sex abuse does it make them gay?

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 1:13 pm
No. 20 · chgo921

Like any list, there will always be people who say "how did you leave off . . . ". Here's mine:

Leopold and Loeb.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 1:21 pm
No. 21 · CitizenGeek

I agree with Andrew; it'd just be silly to ignore the fact that there are some total bitches in the annals of the 20th and 21st centuries that have been gay.

As for John Wayne Gacey … not sure you could describe him as gay. Most pedophiles that target young boys (as Gacey did) are not necessarily gay (i.e. wouldn't be interested in having sex with other men of their age). According to some psychiatrists, they are attracted to the feminine characteristics of young boys.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 2:48 pm
No. 22 · Rob Moore

Interesting list. I was not aware of the rumours around Jaroslaw Kaczynski. It just goes to show that gay people are as diverse as straight people. Most are decent people and a few are really sick, evil fucks.

As for you folks who just can't stand to acknowledge that all gay people, except your most recent ex, are just the sweetest, nicest, most giving people in the world, some are. Most of us are just people who mostly do good, but occassionally fuck up.

This is a really interesting list. I had read some things about Cecil Rhodes and his not so casual interest in blond, fratboy types. He bore some of the responsibility for the Boer War since it brought adjoining territory under British rule and gave him better access to the coast. He most certainly exploited natives to build his enormous wealth then used some of that wealth to establish the Rhodes Scholarship. Back then, nonwhites need not apply.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 6:05 pm
No. 23 · Charley

Jaroslaw Kacynski. That recipe is out of my kitchen. Too much mayonnaise.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 7:14 pm
No. 24 · sugarsmack

Yasser Arafat and the evil queen from Snow White. Actually Disney is full of gay villains or so I recently read.

Posted: May 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm
No. 25 · wildeoutwest

The evil Nazi fag name was spelled Ernst Röhm (or Roehm if not using the umlaut).

Posted: May 4, 2008 at 5:13 pm
No. 26 · blackiemiko

who are the 2 cute guys in Orange suits?

Posted: Jul 11, 2008 at 4:13 pm
No. 27 · papapi

I doubt the percentage of evil queers is any greater than the percentage of evil breeders. Evil queers just receive more attention regarding where and with whom they pet their parts.

Posted: Jul 12, 2008 at 12:22 pm
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