COMMIE OUT OF THE CLOSET

Russian Scientist Claims Vladimir Putin Is Gay — And The Evidence Is Overwhelming…Sorta

putin-rainbow

Moscow political scientist/tabloid columnist (apparently you can be both) Stanislav Belkovsky claims to have the ā€œwhole truthā€ on Vladimir Putin in a new biography which, among other things, claims theĀ Russian president is a closet homosexual and misanthrope who prefers the company of animals to people.

Belkovsky says Putinā€™s alleged affair with a former gymnast/Olympic champion Alina Kabaeva was merely a Russian ruse to paint the prez as ā€œmachoā€ and a ā€œsex bombā€:

putin-gf

Mission: accomplished.

According to Belkovsky, for PutinĀ ā€œsex and a sex life are alienā€ but he posits that Vlad may be ā€œlatently gay,ā€ pointing to aĀ ā€œtruly erotic photo session in which Putin and Prince Albert of Monaco posed topless with their fishing rods in their hands.ā€

Oh you mean this completely heterosexual display of bro-ing the fuck out?:

putin-eternal-flamer

He does look super happy, though. But what could be more heterosexual than this?:

putin-pole

Or this?:

putin-saddle

And of course, this ā€” which is so straight I just got pregnant. And Iā€™m a dude:

putin-pensiveBelkovksy claims these shots of butch queen realness were not staged for PR purposes, but rather, they represent the ā€œrealā€ Vladimir Putin.

ā€œHe flees from people and his obligations to nature,ā€ Belkovsky writes, adding that his best friends and sole roommates are ā€œLabrador Conny and the Bulgarian shepherd dog Buffyā€:

Vladimir Putin

Yeah, right, like any gay man would name his dogs Conny and Buffy!

Wait.

Anygay, thereā€™s also Putinā€™s relationship with his handsome Prime Minister, Dmitry Medvedev:

vlad-dmitry

Awww. Precious. Based on the novel U.S.S.R. by Sapphire.

Of course, latent homosexuality might explain why Puts is so gung-homo with his anti-gay propaganda law. Perhaps one doth protest too much:

putin-wink copy

Fully aware that this kind of talk amounts to borderline treason ā€” or at the very least, some shaaaaaaadyĀ bull that if it was a cup couldnā€™t hold a drop of water ā€” Belkovsky is careful to include this caveat: ā€œfor the lawyers among my readersā€¦a cult figure among homosexuals is not automatically a homosexual himself.ā€

Tell that to Ricky Martin.

h/t: SpiegelĀ via Gay Star News

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