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UNLIKELY VOYEUR

Wrong Again: Pat Robertson Thinks Gay Sex “Is Not Very Pretty”

One of the eternal verities is that every time Pat Robertson opens his mouth, stupidity flourishes like an algae bloom. Pat’s latest attempt to subtract from the sum total of human knowledge is an aesthetic critique of gay sex. In Pat’s view, “When you see what they do, it’s not very pretty.”

This raises two unrelated questions. First, where is Pat watching gay people having sex? Secondly, who could he possibly be watching if he’s come to that conclusion?

Mind you, Pat is careful to spare his tender-hearted viewers. One possible answer to the second question is 1980s prime time soaps. “I don’t want to get graphic,” Robertson promised. “That guy on Dynasty got graphic and it got a little disgusting.”

It’s not clear if Robertson was talking about Duck Dynasty patriarch’s Phil Robertson’s comments about homosexuality. Alternately, Robertson is displaying a fondness for 1980s prime time soaps and thinking about that “unbelievable quaint” breakthrough characer, Steve Carrington. 

Not that it matters, because, as Robertson kindly puts it, “Nobody can ever produce a child through homosexual sex or lesbian sex…This is for procreation.”

And in the end, Robertson predicts, “God will vomit it out.” His viewers may beat God to the punch.

Watch for yourself:

 

H/t: Right Wing Watch

By:           John Gallagher
On:           Feb 20, 2014
Tagged: , ,
  • 31 Comments
    • balehead
      balehead

      I’m always impressed by how much he knows about the gays……

      Feb 20, 2014 at 10:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MikeE
      MikeE

      @John Gallagher: I just HAVE to say, the following phrase is a masterpiece of metaphore: “One of the eternal verities is that every time Pat Robertson opens his mouth, stupidity flourishes like an algae bloom.”

      Love that line. I will have to ask your permission to re-use it at some point.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 10:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tackle
      Tackle

      Pat Robertson sure does spend a lot of time obsessing about gays. It seems like not a month goes by without him making a comment about gays or the gay lifestyle.
      Kinda makes you wonder??

      Feb 20, 2014 at 10:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dxley
      Dxley

      He thinks way too much about gay sex for someone straight.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 10:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      I’m trying without success to remember what exactly was so “graphic” about Dynasty.

      More likely, Rev. Pat must be thinking of some actual gay porn he’s seen, more recently than the ’80s?

      @MikeE: I thought the same thing, that’s a great turn of phrase!

      Feb 20, 2014 at 10:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      First of all, if it was horrible to watch then gay porn wouldn’t be a lucrative business for the studios.

      Secondly, if Pat thinks it’s ugly maybe he just isn’t doing it right.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 10:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Savage8862
      Savage8862

      Then he isn’t doing it right.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 11:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • viveutvivas
      viveutvivas

      I think Pat Robertson sex, if any, must not be very pretty.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 11:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Steve Rider
      Steve Rider

      My best guess is that people who are gay are likely to enjoy gay sex more than people who are not gay. I have not researched this, I’m just guessing.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 11:28 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SteveDenver
      SteveDenver

      Oh gag, the procreation screed again.

      It must be disappointing to be the wife of a religious conservative. They pump and dump, and that’s all there is to it, cuz that’s all it takes to procreate.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 11:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Harley
      Harley

      Yes, Pat. Watching you have sex will DEFINITELY make me vomit.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 12:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BrianZ
      BrianZ

      I am only shocked that he’s still live. He’s what, 84? It does make one wonder just how large his population sample was for this observation. I bet his internet browsing history is a real treasure trove.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 12:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chris-MI
      Chris-MI

      I think he means anal sex, which of course is not practiced by anywhere from 20% to 50% of straight people. I’m not sure how one gets so stupid, but I think it helps to have a multimillion dollar empire based on cajoling vulnerable people to call your 800 number,

      Feb 20, 2014 at 1:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • robirob
      robirob

      Well, an old man telling me what’s pretty and what’s not isn’t pretty either.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 1:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Pete
      Pete

      Robertson’s so obvious he should be on the Three Dollar Bill!

      Sunbelt swish.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 1:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jezuzchrist
      jezuzchrist

      I thought he died already. Is this a rerun? I swear he says the same shit over and over again.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 2:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bad Ass Biker
      Bad Ass Biker

      @viveutvivas: I definitely would not want to see his ass in a sling.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 4:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nancyapp
      nancyapp

      Wowwwwwwwww woowwwww woowwwww everyone here is definitely gay except me well here is what I can say honestly iam 20 but gay sex ain’t my cup of tea either not that am thinking like the old man or am that ancient but just to be honest gayism isn’t my cup of tea am with rev on this one sorry guys but am just being honest

      Feb 20, 2014 at 4:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mezaien
      Mezaien

      .@nancyapp: YOU MOST BE CHRISTIAN, SORRY FOR YOU.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 4:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mezaien
      Mezaien

      PS, sorry I forgot! Pat Robertson, you need to come to me for a life time experience in HOMO sex. Money back guarantee.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 5:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chris-MI
      Chris-MI

      Actually, I’m straight.

      I read this site and occasionally comment because I have gay friends, gay neighbors, and gay family members. The family in particular has been done much harm by Mr. Pat and his ilk. I am baffled as to why Pat thinks me and my boyfriend having anal is prettier than two dudes doing it. Lesbian sex isn’t my cup of tea, but I don’t think it’s ugly.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 5:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RomanHans
      RomanHans

      @Chris-MI: Hey, great point! If we’re deciding our sexualities based on how “pretty” the sex is, I think we should all be lesbians.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 5:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • alanj
      alanj

      I think Pat Robertson obsesses to much about gay sex and Queerty obsesses to much about this fossil.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 8:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • yaoming
      yaoming

      I’m with those here who point out that whatever you think gay sex looks like, Pat Robertson sex is going to be a whole lot worse.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 10:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jmmartin
      jmmartin

      The fact of the matter is, lgbt-queer people have always pushed the envelope sexually speaking. While some Christians do it in the missionary position only with their spouse, and then only for the purpose of procreation (the old bearded guy in the sky, in Genesis, after all, commanded mankind to “go forth and multiply,” same sex partners don’t have to be married, don’t have to do it in any particular position (a men’s room is good enough), and don’t plan on, and cannot, biologically, have children. This frees the sexual minorities to do as they please. Pat would be jealous if he wasn’t so prudish and didn’t have his nogging up his place where the sun don’t shine. As it is, he is probably jealous. If he quit being a fraud as a preacher (soliciting money for missionary work, then diverting it to private mining interests in Africa, for example — yes, he actually did this) he might venture forth and find out what REAL sex is all about. OK, so handball is not your cup of tea. Then DON’T DO IT. Ditto all the other radical things some of us do in the privacy of our bedrooms, dungeons, and playrooms. To Pat, I say C.O.Y.O.T.E. Come of your old tired ethics. Get a life, man. Get a life.

      Feb 20, 2014 at 11:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Respect4all
      Respect4all

      @nancyapp: Do you know that the “queer” in Queerty refers to ‘gayism’, as you call it? If you’re not interested, why read it and comment on it? Additionally, did you skip all your high school English classes? I suggest you go back and take them, because you don’t know how to write in the English language. You sound really stupid. Sorry, but I’m just being honest.

      Feb 21, 2014 at 12:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Respect4all
      Respect4all

      Someone should send Uncle Pat a Bel Ami video. If he doesn’t think those boys are pretty, he doesn’t know what pretty is.

      Feb 21, 2014 at 12:24 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ED49
      ED49

      Why the homos get so upset when people say gay sex is brutal?
      Pat Robertson has an opinion and maybe he is right, so what?
      Gay men love the bigger the better.. to go into their anus; lubricant is not even necessary since the rectrum is already streched and stressed out!
      This is America, the land of freedom, sex, scandal ,The Clintons, hypocrisy and Madonna acting so embarrassing that I cringe when she opens her mouth and wearing “grills”? and still at 55 has a filthy mouth.
      Pat Robertson is not even relevant these days, unless he was twerking in front of Rush limbaugh .

      Feb 21, 2014 at 8:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NJjoe
      NJjoe

      Obviously homophobe Pat has never had gay sex. It’s quite beautiful.

      Feb 21, 2014 at 9:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bellerophon69
      Bellerophon69

      Well, that “santorum” can be pretty icky, Pat!

      Feb 21, 2014 at 12:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Matt
      Matt

      @NJjoe: Fudgepacking is not beautiful by any means. It’s just as bad as beastiality and pedophilia. Pat is onto something. You guys need to keep up with the times.

      http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/sti-infection-rates-among-gay-men-reach-crisis-levels-9117108.html

      Feb 25, 2014 at 10:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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