Happiness is like a Chicken McNugget. Everyone wants some but no one really wants to know how it’s made. Finding the right ingredients, however, can help you create your own actual meal instead of a late night drive thru binge. Who needs that bloat anyway, amiright?
True happiness in life can be challenging especially if you’re trying to live your best gay life. Our LGBTQ+ community has made great strides for equality and acceptance, though our beliefs about ourselves still get impacted by homophobia every day and it can hurt our ability to really know how to achieve longer-lasting, authentic happiness.
Take a peak at what I’m dubbing the “5 Ways To Be A Happy Homo” to see which specific hurdles our community faces and what you can do to spark that light of joy within yourself so you in your own way can illuminate the world! (OK I stole that last part from Oprah.)
Watch below:
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
ChrisK
I get it. Love others and you’ll love yourself in return. Ya Wow. The things you learn on Queerty. Well, that and be young and hot so everyone else can love you too:)
haroldkatkov
Oh, Chris, no one likes a Bitter Betty! I’m 60, in a great relationship, and have never felt better. Do I have the washboard abs I was able to maintain until 50? No, but I still look and feel great. Saying that gay happiness is only for the young sounds like a cop-out, Chris. At the risk of sounding mean, it’s time for Chris to do a little life work.
ChrisK
Seriously though. How can you have a therapist who probably never experienced any kind of rejection in his life who’s mostly interested in getting Facebook and Instagram liked. A total PR ho.
troyfight
…ChrisK….you could be right, but also: how do you know if he has or hasn’t? massive assumptions….
ChrisK
I’ve never met a selfi queen that’s had rejection issues.
https://www.instagram.com/mjdempseypsych/?hl=en
Karlis
An interesting video, but there is a difference between the words “peek” and “peak.” You should have proofread your text before posting it.
He BGB
I remember reading alot of self help books years ago like HOW TO BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND etc. This video reminded me of those books. I wonder with the emphasis on me me me me, I I I, if anyone is genuinely happy. I like the word contentment better because happiness sounds temporary. And love is a relative term since there are so many kinds. You can love soneone but not like them (a close relative for instance). So I don’t put alot of trust into this mumbojumbo. I wonder if being selfless and doing alot for others brings true contentment more than concentrating so much on one’s self. Almost all religions preach this. I believe age can bring contentment. Being a young queer or an old queer? I prefer to be old. What used to be important seems so sad now.
Kieran
“You can love someone but not like them”. How does that work? It’s hard enough to like certain people. I don’t know how you can love anything that you don’t like and still call it love.
andrewl
Okay I am going to probably come across as bitter but I honestly am not – just a pragmatic at heart I think. Anyhow what Matthew Dempsey is doing is fine, it’s nothing amazing or earth shattering just ejaculates of sentimental greeting card philosophy. Which is pleasant to read along photos of cute people is happy or uplifting situations. However this does not give people any tools for when the chips are down and things are looking grim. Especially as we grow older things get harder ie illness and death of parents and friends. The actual ageing process on your own body and the fact that you are slowly fading into invisibility. It has happened to previous generations it will happen to me and you. What good philosophy and guidance should do is arm you with resilience so you can face all of these trials and errors and survive (not unscathed) and be stronger more developed person for having seen it through. I am obviously talking from experience and it took me a while to understand that for me at least the most important trait I had to develop and strengthen was resilience as then I was able to find calm happiness in life. Sorry I have written a lot for such a pithy article. Hopefully you had the resilience to survive my ramblings!
jkb
Survived and grateful for them 🙂
Doug
I like this guy.
Nixter
Excellent advice, andrewl. Thank you !
Joseph
He looks like one of those guys that would continually smile during sex. Creepy af.
Notright
One of the best ways to be happy is to take care of yourself and love yourself. If you want to know your chances of getting a good bf in the future take this survey https://packedman.com/quiz/gay-relationships-survey/
Heywood Jablowme
Well, come on, Notright, you present a potential hazard.
What if someone takes the survey but it says he has little or no chance of “getting a good bf in the future”? What is he supposed to do then, settle for YOU? 🙂
Tobi
LOL, you still trying to flog a useless penis enlargement program?
Lacuevaman
he lives up to his name
Heywood Jablowme
It’s weird. Matthew sounds just like our perennial Queerty poster who calls himself “Windsor, Ontario,” except that Matthew is not hopelessly depressed about the exact same phenomena.
I bet it’s the master’s degree. Yeah, having a master’s degree must be the key to real happiness. – lol
Black Pegasus
Another professional gay narcissist. This guy irritates me with his phony prescriptions on everything from dating to happiness.
ElPillo
You sound angry
Eye of the Beholder
Are we banning emotions now? Lmao! Watch out Black Pegasus. Someone’s trying to smear you.
Chevelter
It isn’t always the case, but in general people who become therapists are more screwed up than their patients. It’s a racket, like psychics.
Mandrake
I thought his video was inspiring, and he presents himself as likable and articulate. All five ways are indeed important, and that’s not to say there may not be others that are more within the context of our lives.
I would also say that number 4, “Kindness” is something that MANY commenters on this site could learn. If one wants to read vicious insults directed to their fellow GLBT, this is THE site for it.
trelin
It’s easy to hate on this dude and it’s easy to be pulled by him. He comes off charming, has an enviable instagram life, and has looks to kill.
Remember, it’s simple for him to toss off advice on how to live the best life. Much like mansplaning, he’s gaysplaining. An attractive, gay, successful (by outward appearance) individual is dishing out advice to those he believes are challenged to live the “best homo life”, because he’s a professional at it. Funny enough, nobody asked him for advice. It comes off as very tacky and arrogant…he just delivers it well (he knows lighting and great transition techniques). He wants you to be envious of him, much like everyone else with an instagram. It would more beneficial for him to discuss his failures, insecurities, and fears. His life is filtered, and breaking with that is horrifying.
On the other hand, does he throw out decent advice? It more seems mundane and a bit “Chicken Soup for the Gay Soul”. Sure we can all be kind, we can all forgive, we can all be thankful. But what else would someone hock for a few likes and a quick buck? Mind you, this is coming from someone in a similar position as him. We both counsel for a living. We don’t know what he brings home from work, and if he internalizes a lot of what his clients tell him.
tham
“You want to be happy? Think about someone else. You want to be miserable? Think about yourself.”
His holiest, The 14th Dalai Lama
HappyRainbows
That sounds fake.
coltonblack
So this is what it’s come to. Gay therapists taking shirtless pictures to attract cash clients. How is this different than onlyfans or cybercam?
I’ve been to his website. He offers video counseling but wait to you hear the price (it’s not listed for a reason).
Just creepy.
HappyRainbows
It’s hard to not be jaded when a gorgeous man is telling you how to be happy, but all his points are great. Write them down; read them every morning for 28 days; put it on a post-it on your work monitor; these work, but it takes work.
I especially resonate with the play and surrender advice, something that is so hard to exercise in our high-performance world. But once I discovered how to do these things it really increased my chemistry with people and helped a lot with dating and friendships.
This may seem impossible or almost trivial to some of you, but if you try these, and be consistent about them, one day you will wake up and they will be in your life.
It works.
ElPillo
He trying to do something nice that he enjoys. Stop it now, all bitchy queens, he’s done nothing wrong. Don’t like it, then stop listening
RetiredHRGuy
Matthew, such solid and practical advice. Years ago I went through psychotherapy. Your list includes skills I use frequently! I am quite happy in retirement with my spouse. We’ve been together 20 years. Sadly, so many snarky guys commenting don’t get it… Especially the be kind part. You’re happy cause you are cute, young, a narcissist???.
These are the same guys that always blamed someone else for their not being promoted into the “C” suite at work. No, it is not his looks, height, etc. etc. that got him promoted!
It is hard work, working on relationships, working extra hours, gaining new skills, extra education.
Same as here, Being happy takes hard work.
You have given such good advice!
Thank you..
Eye of the Beholder
Wow! Where to begin? Life? Self Help? Therapy? Whoever accredited you ought to be investigated.
More Republican philosophies? Everything you said is contrived rhetoric and I’m calling bs where your shirt just happened to spontaneously burst open at the end.
Answer me this: How am I supposed to take advice from you? Didn’t you admit on Youtube that you hated black men so much that you had no plans on dating Black gay men? Do you still hate Black people that much or was that just your excuse to be spread racism in the gay community? Were you just taking your frustrations out on the marginalized within the gay community following the backlash of Hillary losing the election? Was that cathartic for you?
And I still remember when you uploaded “A Gay Man’s Gratitude for Trump” too. As if you’re so good looking I can’t see your flaws. Everything you do Mr. Dempsey absolutely reeks. No thank you and have a nice day.