Billy Porter on having survivor’s guilt while living with HIV: “It f*cked me for a while”
By Editors · 47 comments
It’s not lost on me that I am part of the generation that has kicked the door down, and I get to walk through that door – that doesn’t happen often.
I’ve had survivor’s guilt. I’ve been HIV positive since 2007 and it f*cked me up for a minute.
Now I understand I’m here to speak for that generation and remind the world who we are and [who we have] always been. Our contributions will be honored and I get to be a part of making sure that happens and that is a gift to me.
Billy Porter speaking to GayTimes on overcoming his HIV survivor’s guilt and stepping fearlessly into his power to honor the memory of those who are no longer here.
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I think it’s less a matter of ego and more a matter of feeling that he has a responsibility to speak for them because they are gone and can’t speak for themselves. If not him, then it would have to be another HIV survivor who could relate to the experience.
He’s 54 and got HIV in 2007, well after the initial crisis which took so many men far too soon. If anything Billy should’ve learned something from those who truly were affected. This man needs to keep quiet, the more he talks the worse he sounds. That clip of him strutting down a busy street, annoying the people walking sums up his attitude perfectly, selfish, loud and annoying.
He certainly is from that era. I am a few years older than him, he was old enough to lose many people throughout his life.
Why are you so bitter toward him? What problem could you possibly have with a man who has been out his entire career, is an actor, singer, director, producer, a Tony, Emmy and Grammy winner, the first black gay man to win a primetime Emmy, who has had a profound influence on fashion and has lived his life openly and without shame despite all the bigots who seek to put him down?
While I sometimes agree with ShaverC, this is not one of them. Billy can speak on this topic, as he did rather eloquently. For those of us who lived through the terrible 80s and 90s and lost so many people, the trauma inflicted on us all, acknowledged or suppressed, is something the younger folks just don’t get.
dbmcvey, He comes across as arrogant, loud, bitter, and angry despite his achievements. He’s not a good actor, he plays himself in every role. He has an inflated sense of self and decided to delegate himself as a spokesperson for a group of people that didn’t ask for him.
dbmcvey, I am not as conservative as people think. And I’m not anti-trans. Truly trans people I understand, it’s the “pseudo-trans” and “non-binary” angry minority who I think are making up new definitions based on nothing but their feelings.
Shaves, “non-binary” is the same as we used to refer to as “gender-f*ck.” It’s not really new. It’s how (mostly) young people are expressing themselves and it has no impact on you or me in our real lives. Also, Billy Porter, to my knowledge does not identify as non-binary, though he wears non-binary fashion. Kind of like David Bowie did back in the ’70s.
“Survivor’s guilt” doesn’t make much sense if he never actually contracted the disease when it first broke out. He’s whitewashing his own past in order to maintain his position as a perpetual victim, which is all he has left now that his act of wearing terrible gowns is no longer garnering the attention he so desperately craves.
You don’t have to contract the disease to have survivor’s guilt. I, and a lot of people who were never infected, have survivor’s guilt. It’s a part of surviving when so many others didn’t.
The AIDS crisis, that decimated gay men before anyone knew what was going on, took place in the 80s.
One of the real heroes was playwright Larry Kramer. (1935 – 2020). The founder of (GMHC) Gay Mens Health Crisis and ACT UP, Kramer earned his right to be a gay spokesperson by actually doing something.
Then I would love to see inbama praise Billy and say he has earned the right to be a gay spokesperson. It would go some way to dispelling the rumors that he and Shaver are the same person.
Leave it to liars like abfab and dbmcvey to rewrite gay history so that wearing a dress matches taking on Reagan, Evangelicals who said we deserved to die, and the gay media that tried to ignore what needed to be done.
These are the same liars who pretended drag queen Marsha P. Johnson started the Stonewall Riots, so they could repeat ad nauseum the lie that gay men somehow “owed” their rights to transgenders. We most certainly DO NOT.
You can read about the importance of Larry Kramer in the July 4, 2023 by a man he fought to save lives, Dr. Anthony Fauci in his tribute “Anthony Fauci on Larry Kramer and Loving Difficult People.”
So, lumps, inbama did rule out Billy, a Tony, Grammy and Emmy award winning actor and singer who has been out his entire career. I wonder what it is about Billy Porter that enrages inbama so much?
Also, do you notice how this deranged conservative keeps claiming that people say Marsha P. Johnson started the Stonewall Riots when she herself said she wasn’t there? He is so enraged by this that he loses all sense.
One could say that INBAMA and/or SHAVER suffer from split personalities and enjoy conversing with one another as a united front…but they both have the exact same personality! TROLL CENTRAL!
Today, they gave you the proof: Abfab and dbmcvey are one and the same person.
Lying sockpuppets playing tag team and always posting one hour apart
And so unashamedly anti-gay, the pathetic homophobe uses a discussion about AIDS to trash Larry Kramer, one of the giants of gay history. But abfab/mcvey doesn’t care about people who fought for the sick and dying. Or people who fought for laws that made all our lives better. In fact, he hates and envies them for it. With no facts on his side, he just bashes and bashes and bashes – trying to silence everyone and anyone who dares to speak the truth.
inbama, you sad liar. No one trashed Larry Kramer. I didn’t say anything about him at all. You, on the other hand did trash Billy Porter because of your own internalized homophobia.
inbama, you’re just being stupid. No one put Larry Kramer down. He’s a great hero.
You, on the other hand dismissed Billy Porter for what seems to be just that he dresses in ways you don’t approve of, and who has certainly done more than most for us. Certainly more than you.
So it sounds like you agree that gay and AIDS activist Larry Kramer earned his reputation as a spokesperson through his leadership during the worst years of the crisis.
That is quite different from a minor celebrity deciding he should be an HIV spokesperson to assuage his survivor’s guilt.
Congratulations for at long last embracing reality.
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ShaverC
Wow, the ego on this guy. Who asked him to speak for a whole generation?
theaterbloke
I think it’s less a matter of ego and more a matter of feeling that he has a responsibility to speak for them because they are gone and can’t speak for themselves. If not him, then it would have to be another HIV survivor who could relate to the experience.
ShaverC
He’s 54 and got HIV in 2007, well after the initial crisis which took so many men far too soon. If anything Billy should’ve learned something from those who truly were affected. This man needs to keep quiet, the more he talks the worse he sounds. That clip of him strutting down a busy street, annoying the people walking sums up his attitude perfectly, selfish, loud and annoying.
abfab
Shaver in a nutshell:
”annoying the people walking sums up his attitude perfectly, selfish, loud and annoying.”
She writes her own shit for me.
dbmcvey
Many of us who survived that era and lost a lot of friends feel this. I’m fine with Billy speaking for us.
ShaverC
Billy is not from that era.
abfab
Shaver, right on time with another foolish thing to say. Sad creature.
dbmcvey
He certainly is from that era. I am a few years older than him, he was old enough to lose many people throughout his life.
Why are you so bitter toward him? What problem could you possibly have with a man who has been out his entire career, is an actor, singer, director, producer, a Tony, Emmy and Grammy winner, the first black gay man to win a primetime Emmy, who has had a profound influence on fashion and has lived his life openly and without shame despite all the bigots who seek to put him down?
What could your problem possibly be with him?
LumpyPillows
While I sometimes agree with ShaverC, this is not one of them. Billy can speak on this topic, as he did rather eloquently. For those of us who lived through the terrible 80s and 90s and lost so many people, the trauma inflicted on us all, acknowledged or suppressed, is something the younger folks just don’t get.
ShaverC
dbmcvey, He comes across as arrogant, loud, bitter, and angry despite his achievements. He’s not a good actor, he plays himself in every role. He has an inflated sense of self and decided to delegate himself as a spokesperson for a group of people that didn’t ask for him.
dbmcvey
Billy Porter came out at 17, at that time AIDS was an epidemic raging through the community.
ShaverC
LumpyPillows, I’m the same age as Billy, he most certainly doesn’t speak for me.
dbmcvey
But let’s be honest Shaver, it’s not like you are all that representative of our generation. You’re conservative and anti-trans.
ShaverC
dbmcvey, I am not as conservative as people think. And I’m not anti-trans. Truly trans people I understand, it’s the “pseudo-trans” and “non-binary” angry minority who I think are making up new definitions based on nothing but their feelings.
dbmcvey
Shaves, if you want to claim not to be anti-trans you have to stop being anti-trans.
dbmcvey
Shaves, “non-binary” is the same as we used to refer to as “gender-f*ck.” It’s not really new. It’s how (mostly) young people are expressing themselves and it has no impact on you or me in our real lives. Also, Billy Porter, to my knowledge does not identify as non-binary, though he wears non-binary fashion. Kind of like David Bowie did back in the ’70s.
monty clift
“Survivor’s guilt” doesn’t make much sense if he never actually contracted the disease when it first broke out. He’s whitewashing his own past in order to maintain his position as a perpetual victim, which is all he has left now that his act of wearing terrible gowns is no longer garnering the attention he so desperately craves.
abfab
@Monty. Now you’re just asking for trouble.
dbmcvey
@Monty,
You don’t have to contract the disease to have survivor’s guilt. I, and a lot of people who were never infected, have survivor’s guilt. It’s a part of surviving when so many others didn’t.
dbmcvey
Monty & Shaver’s comments are really similar and both stupid.
Rambeaux
Having lost so many, over the years, of AIDS, I appreciate Billy speaking up.
He speaks for the many who never had the chance to speak.
inbama
The AIDS crisis, that decimated gay men before anyone knew what was going on, took place in the 80s.
One of the real heroes was playwright Larry Kramer. (1935 – 2020). The founder of (GMHC) Gay Mens Health Crisis and ACT UP, Kramer earned his right to be a gay spokesperson by actually doing something.
dbmcvey
As has Billy Porter.
abfab
”Real heroes”. Only the real ones get credit in inbama’s playbook. Jerk.
ShaverC
abfab, Yes only a real hero should be celebrated. I suppose you celebrate fake heroes?
LumpyPillows
Don’t think inbama ruled out Billy.
dbmcvey
Then I would love to see inbama praise Billy and say he has earned the right to be a gay spokesperson. It would go some way to dispelling the rumors that he and Shaver are the same person.
inbama
Leave it to liars like abfab and dbmcvey to rewrite gay history so that wearing a dress matches taking on Reagan, Evangelicals who said we deserved to die, and the gay media that tried to ignore what needed to be done.
These are the same liars who pretended drag queen Marsha P. Johnson started the Stonewall Riots, so they could repeat ad nauseum the lie that gay men somehow “owed” their rights to transgenders. We most certainly DO NOT.
You can read about the importance of Larry Kramer in the July 4, 2023 by a man he fought to save lives, Dr. Anthony Fauci in his tribute “Anthony Fauci on Larry Kramer and Loving Difficult People.”
dbmcvey
So, lumps, inbama did rule out Billy, a Tony, Grammy and Emmy award winning actor and singer who has been out his entire career. I wonder what it is about Billy Porter that enrages inbama so much?
dbmcvey
Also, do you notice how this deranged conservative keeps claiming that people say Marsha P. Johnson started the Stonewall Riots when she herself said she wasn’t there? He is so enraged by this that he loses all sense.
monty clift
@inbama, Unsurprising from these cretinous clowns who think they can rewrite history when it suits them. Keep fighting for the truth.
abfab
You two should get a room.
dbmcvey
inbama and monty. I doubt even they could stand each other. Assuming they aren’t each other.
LumpyPillows
I love Billy Porter, but sometimes I just want to “push her down the stairs”. This time I just want to give him a hug.
abfab
One could say that INBAMA and/or SHAVER suffer from split personalities and enjoy conversing with one another as a united front…but they both have the exact same personality! TROLL CENTRAL!
abfab
Back to Billy. He’s cool.
If you don’t see the sparkles or the spangles,
WHY NOT TRY AND SEE THINGS FROM A DIFFERNET ANGLE.
At least he is what he is. You religious queers are tired and boring. Your redundant bullshit is played out. Take a break.
dbmcvey
Amen!
abfab
Imagine the lyrics to I AM WHAT I AM re-written by a GOPGAYTROLL. Forgive me Gloria Gaynor for I have sinned.
inbama
“I Am What I Am” written by a gay troll?
It would be homophobic – like you and your sociopathic sockpuppet dbmcvey.
abfab
Don’t even bama. You’re just like a sitting duck.
dbmcvey
inbama. A sad, lonely, shunned person. He shows up at the bar and everyone leaves.
inbama
Today, they gave you the proof: Abfab and dbmcvey are one and the same person.
Lying sockpuppets playing tag team and always posting one hour apart
And so unashamedly anti-gay, the pathetic homophobe uses a discussion about AIDS to trash Larry Kramer, one of the giants of gay history. But abfab/mcvey doesn’t care about people who fought for the sick and dying. Or people who fought for laws that made all our lives better. In fact, he hates and envies them for it. With no facts on his side, he just bashes and bashes and bashes – trying to silence everyone and anyone who dares to speak the truth.
dbmcvey
inbama, you sad liar. No one trashed Larry Kramer. I didn’t say anything about him at all. You, on the other hand did trash Billy Porter because of your own internalized homophobia.
inbama
abfab/mvey
You and sockpuppet alternately attacked me for putting history and the place of Larry Kramer in perspective as an activist and spokesperson.
Larry Kramer is a GIANT.
YOU are NOTHING but a pea-brained homophobe.
abfab
Billy is cool. You are not. You are a failure on every level.
dbmcvey
inbama, you’re just being stupid. No one put Larry Kramer down. He’s a great hero.
You, on the other hand dismissed Billy Porter for what seems to be just that he dresses in ways you don’t approve of, and who has certainly done more than most for us. Certainly more than you.
inbama
@abfabmcvey
So it sounds like you agree that gay and AIDS activist Larry Kramer earned his reputation as a spokesperson through his leadership during the worst years of the crisis.
That is quite different from a minor celebrity deciding he should be an HIV spokesperson to assuage his survivor’s guilt.
Congratulations for at long last embracing reality.