ASSCLOWNERY

Can The 3 (Fake) Andrew Shirvells On Twitter Be Any Creepier Than The Real One?

Think one Andrew Shirvell is bad? How about three Andrew Shirvells battling it out assclown-style on Twitter? None of the three spoof accounts I spotted belong to the real Andrew Shirvell, but they’re still deserving of my attention. And my rating of their best tweets. Believe me, if you enjoyed seeing him squirm on Anderson Cooper’s hot seat, you’ll love seeing how he handles himself solo.

In last place there’s FakeAndyShirvel, a foul-mouthed, viciously gay re-imagining of the Ass. AG who is working on his drag persona, plays “the organ”, and calls out Joe Jervis’ name while cumming to Corbin Fisher porn:

» Whoever shat on my welcome mat – are you interested in a “glass bottom boat?” Look it up. It’s hot!

» Vicious?!? I’m not vicious I’m more like FIERCE! Get that straight! (pun intended)

He’s actually the least funny of the bunch. First runner up goes to AndrewShirveii (i‘s instead of l‘s!) who draws inspiration from the AC360 interview and has a total hard on for doing Christ’s work.

» Look at that pampered elitist Chris Armstrong, with his pretty face and dreamy eyes and radical homosexual agenda. Who does he think he is!?

» So I’m not really happy about the flack I have been receiving about my appearance on AC360 I thought people would be more open…

» @andrewshirvell You can impersonate me and try to discredit me but I understand it is your form of protest

» I am not going to sit here and play with myself… tonight anyway. I’m too upset.

» Being a misunderstood Christian prosecutor and warrior for Jesus is hard. Like, washboard-abs hard…

» Staring into ppl’s windows is NOT cyberstalking, dummies. Look it up, if you even have a Bible, you Christian-haters.

But hands down first place goes to AndrewShirvell, not only because of his unaware innuendo — “All I wanted to do was promote my appearance on AC360 and I am being pounded from every angle” — but also to for his dark nods to Islamophobia and Tyler Clementi:

» I just found out on Wikipedia that @andersoncooper is gay… 🙁

» To the people saying I’m secretly gay…stop it before you go on my blog.

» My GIRLFRIEND and I are going to dinner tonight. Grizzly Peak Brewing here I come!

» Great, someone found my house and took a dump on my welcome mat… HUMAN FECES.. ON MY WELCOME MAT!! 🙁

» Leave of absence.. more time to tweet!

» I bet if I protested Muslims half of you people wouldn’t be bitching..

» At least I didn’t put a secret camera in Chris Armstrong’s room…

These tweets would be a lot funnier if they weren’t tamer than the crap the real Andrew Shirvell wrote on Chris Armstrong Watch. But I see a BPGlobalPR in the making.