Why does Grindr always seem to bring out the worst in people?
An Australian man confessed in court this week to demanding $1300 from a closeted guy he met on the hookup app in exchange for not outing him to his fiancee.
34-year-old Timothy Ruge just pleaded guilty in Melbourne Magistrates Court to making an unwarranted demand for money.
It all started back in march when Ruge met the man on Grindr. The two chatted, flirted, and eventually exchanged pics.
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The man sent Ruge a picture of himself and a woman. When Ruge asked who the woman was, the man told him it was his fiancee. To which, Ruge responded: “She’s pretty, you cheating bastard.”
The man apologized and said he didn’t want any drama. That’s when Ruge responded: “Cardless cash me $500 now, then $500 in 30 mins ARE WE CLEAR.”
He followed that up with another message that read, “And I vanish.”
The man told Ruge he didn’t have that much money. “She handles all my money,” he explaind. To which, Ruge responded: “Tick tock I’ll ask her for it then shall I. Tick tock.”
The man eventually agreed to meet Ruge at a gas station, where he handed over $200 in cash in exchange for Ruge deleting their messages. But later that afternoon, Ruge messaged him again, this time demanding another $300. Or else.
In his testimony, the man said, “I went home feeling like sh*t. I was freaking out my missus was going to find out. I am still on my toes. I still feel helpless and confused.”
When asked in court why he did what did, Ruge said it was due to “unfortunate circumstances.”
Since pleading guilty, Ruge has been released from custody on bail. His sentencing is scheduled for November.
JK 1984
While what Ruge did was bad, the closeted guy cheating on his fiance is hardly innocent (from a personal perspective, not talking legal wise).
Going around presumably behind his fiancee back (If it was open relationship he wouldn’t have cared about her finding out) to meet guys on Grindr, he is hardly a good sort himself.
I feel sorry for the fiance, she likely didn’t know (Possibly still doesn’t know if he kept the case from her) that the man she is going to marry is Gay/Bi/Questioning and fooling around with guys. She will likely marry him and then end up divorced in a few years time, maybe now being “too old” for someone else to want to date/marry or left to look after the kids they created.
I say this as I have seen this scenario play out with my brother and his soon to be ex-wife, except without the extortion part and it was her not him that left and came out as lesbian.
Aj76
Please don’t hurl judgement on this guy for being closeted because you are not in his shoes …….yes I agree with you that your brothers situation is heartbreaking especially if there are kids involved…..but that doesn’t give the right for anyone to extort / blackmail anyone else for any reason at all……I can speak from experience…..I was married for 18 years & have recently come out to my ex wife……it’s a situation that’s heartbreaking for every person involved……people involved in these situations are victims of either society,culture or religion…..in some cases they are victims of all of them……nobody wants to live a lie ……we all want to live our truth……but when you are spoon fed on how life is supposed to be lived ……when you are conditioned that there’s only one path in life that you have to take …….when you are treated like a racing horse placed with blinkers on your face & guided in a direction & if you don’t take that direction you get wiped …….when you grow up being told that it’s dirty , sinful, disgusting being gay ……it leads you into situations like this article or similar……even if the thought that you’re gay pops in your head daily , monthly or yearly you learn to suppress it / bury it & deny it even to yourself ……because in your mind “it’s not true”……”I can’t be gay / I don’t wanna be gay”……”it’s a sin / it’s not normal “ …….” I’ll lose everything & everyone I have in my life “…….
It’s easier to judge instead of digging deep & searching for the core issues/reasons that cause these situations……the sad reality is there are millions around the world that are married & aren’t living their truth because of the above reasons ……also last but not least in some countries you are faced with the death penalty…..
It definitely is a heartbreaking situation…..every person closeted has their own story & reasons for being closeted……but please let’s not judge but help to find a solution instead ……let’s not also forget to mention how many people in these situations also find it easier to commit suicide instead of coming out to their spouse/partner…..which is the most heartbreaking thing ……I hope that people in civilised ,democratic ,first world societies build the courage to come out & that as hard as it seems doing it & as hard as the situation will be after you come out(keep in mind that it’s only short term pain till everyone involved comes to terms with it)……but the joy , peace & happiness that you feel after you do come out is priceless…..I can talk because I was there ……& at the end of the day honesty & truth is always the best option.
Calin
What else do you see on your crystal ball?
JK 1984
Aj76, first off congratulations on recently coming out to your ex-wife, I can’t imagine that being easy.
Second, I’m not hurling judgement on this guy for being in the closet.
Being in the closet can be horrible and painful and cause a lot of anguish. I was there myself until 21 years old, including suicide attempts depression and a whole boat load of self-loathing.
As long as someone in the closet isn’t intentionally hurting other LGBTQ people, e.g politicians who vote for anti-LGBT measures while being closeted then it should 100% be their choice when/If they want to come out of the closet.
What I am hurling judgement at is the cheating/attempted cheating. Closet/No closet/Gay/Straight/Whatever cheating is never ok in my book and I won’t apologise for that stance. Either break up or open up your relationship with your current partner if you both agree, but cheating is a deal breaker for me. That even relates to me staying friends with someone if they have chatted on their partner.
The extortion is also 100% wrong and the guy in the article should recieve whatever punishment is due to him.
djmcgamester
Agreed. There shouldn’t be a free pass for cheating because you’re in the closet. He wouldn’t get that pass if he were cheating with a woman.
Fact is, it’s maybe time to come out as gay or bisexual. It still wouldn’t make the cheating okay but if he decided to end things with the fiance at least it would make sense. Then he could go sleep without whoever he wanted to.
As to the extortion bit, that’s criminal on any level. He should be jailed for it. Problem is, as a person in the closet, bringing it to trial outs him.
Vince
I’m sure the girlfriend would’ve appreciated this “extortion plot” though.
miserylovedme24
I don’t get how this would happen though…I mean, he had to have given this random guy personal information for him to even be able to use it in the first place, right? Seems like his big mistake was that. If it was just the picture he could’ve just blocked him and been done with it.
Vince
He probably reverse imaged it and found enough info to follow him up in facebook or something.
StraightnNarrow
Everyone on this earth has to be responsible for all the choices they make, some choices entailing dire consequences. This cheating closeted dude is getting exactly what he deserves despite of the way he was being punished.
Geeker
Here’s an idea, don’t be a cheating piece of garbage that might expose your unsuspecting girlfriend too who knows what…problem solved.
Donston
Why on Earth would he send the dude a picture of him with his fiancee and then confirm it’s a picture of his fiancee? It seems like he wanted to find a guy who would indulge hetero worship or indulge his subversive/megalomaniac instincts but instead found an extortioner. Why would you take that risk with a complete stanger? This is a man who may not even be fo’ real into dudes but just gets a kick out of “living on the wild side”. This scenario would be just as dumb if this was a guy trying to hook up with a girl who was a stranger and then sent her a pic of him with his wife.
DCguy
This particular author has a nasty habit of routinely referring to closeted or bisexual people as “Straight”.
The guy was on Grindr looking for sex with men. He isn’t straight, why do you always do this?
Lacuevaman
pretty rude to include a pic of any associate and yourself on a hookup site.
dubstepskater94
Lol… this cheatin’ fool was a damn idiot for sending a pic of him and his fiancé. I don’t personally agree with him being extorted for $$$ though… but he deserves to be humiliated. I’ve had a few “straight” guys hit me up online before. It’s when I find out that they are “straight-ish”, I just want to go public with their closet asses to teach them not to f*ck with a gay boy…. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Lol, try pissing off a gay guy! That’s when kitty’s claws come out!