Clay Aiken’s The Cleverest Boy In The Whole Wide World

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We had a bit of fun of Clay Aiken‘s expense earlier this week. First, we reposted some incriminating Manhunt pictures courtesy that scamp, Perez Hilton. Loads of people came to his defense, offering the preposterous excuse that they had been photoshopped to discredit Aiken’s mythical masculinity.

In an effort to discredit their conspiracy theories, we offered some press pictures of Clay wearing the same rings as the man in Manhunt pictures. Pretty damning evidence, right? Not according to the so-called Claymates and the big man himself, Clay Aiken.

A reader sent us a message Aiken posted for members of his fan club in which takes a surprisingly aggressive stance against the muckrakers:

It seems over the past few weeks, the tabloids and gossip mongers have had their hands full coming up with new and exciting “scandals” for me to be a part of. Yet, for all of their efforts to be on the “cutting edge” and the forefront of bull$#@& journalism, it seems that some of them may be running out of ideas and resorting to recycling and re-hashing some of their older tall tales. How sad!?

Sad, indeed. Our tears are flowing more freely than our sexuality.

To combat folk like us, Aiken’s urged his fearless soldiers to concoct their own scandal:

Come up with the most outlandish story you can that places me (either alone or with others close to me) in a really juicy/tawdry/scandalous/shameful story.

Then, use any photos, videos, audio clips of me that you can find along with your favorite multimedia enhancing/”doctoring” program (like a PhotoShop or a sound/video editor) to create your “evidence”!

Clever Clay – now you can do anything and say it’s just your fans doing your bidding, rather than you looking to do some butting. You’re smarter than you look.

Dive into that there jump, read Aiken’s entire message and take him up on his offer. We look forward to a story involving Aiken, a Latvian nun, a marmot and loads of peanut butter, cum and possibly some piss play.

02/01/07 : Lend a Helping Hand

It seems over the past few weeks, the tabloids and gossip mongers have had their hands full coming up with new and exciting “scandals” for me to be a part of. Yet, for all of their efforts to be on the “cutting edge” and the forefront of bull$#@& journalism, it seems that some of them may be running out of ideas and resorting to recycling and re-hashing some of their older tall tales. How sad!?

With this in mind, we thought maybe we would try to give them a finger…. er.. a hand.

For all of the contests that we hold here on the OFC, this one promises to be one of my favorites.

Build-Your-Own-Scandal!That’s right! Let’s show off the creative abilities of the greatest group of fans on Earth.

The contest is simple, but will require some thinking and planning…

Come up with the most outlandish story you can that places me (either alone or with others close to me) in a really juicy/tawdry/scandalous/shameful story.

Then, use any photos, videos, audio clips of me that you can find along with your favorite multimedia enhancing/”doctoring” program (like a PhotoShop or a sound/video editor) to create your “evidence”!

Maybe you have “pictures” of me being “abducted by oversized turnips”… or … “video” of me “dancing with a three legged gorilla”. Be creative!

You’ll submit your “story” and “evidence” to an address that you’ll find online here at the OFC very soon.

I’ll personally pick the “story” that not only is most creative, but has the most CONVINCING and REALISTIC looking “evidence”!

(It obviously can’t be that hard to come up with!)

The winner(s) will be featured here… PLUS… there will be a great prize to go along with the honor of being the creator of “Scandal 2007”

This one is gonna be fun!!

Feel free to get started thinking…but, keep your eye out for details on rules/requirements for entry and deadlines and prizes. they be announced here soon.

Happy Fabricating!!

c