Do you prefer your studs silent during sex? Or do you want a talkative top? A vocal vers? A big-mouthed bottom?
In Reddit’s r/AskGayMen community, one user recently asked other gays what they think about dirty talk during the deed.
“I feel like I’m not this type of guy, and I think my boyfriend likes it,” that user wrote. “When I do it, I feel like I’m just playing a role, like it’s not me. I have to do a huge effort for doing it. I also feel I can’t enjoy [it] as much because I have to prepare every sentence. Once I felt so much pressure because this guy was saying a lot of stuff, and I was like, OK? And? Haha, I almost said, ‘Shut up and let me do my job here.’ … It was awkward AF.”
Commenters on that post got vocal, so to speak, on the topic — including one person who quipped, “If someone told me, ‘Shut up and let me do my job,’ that would be hot AF to me, lol.”
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Most of the top-voted comments came from guys who wanted their bed partners to speak up from time to time. “Absolutely love it,” one Reddit user wrote. “Especially slutty, enthusiastic power bottoms.”
Another commented, “I’m a huge fan of verbal tops in particular. I don’t know why, but I get off so fast from a verbal top. Even the vids I watch to take care of myself are quite verbal. It doesn’t have to be gross or demeaning dirty talk, but I sure do like a verbal, confident top.”
Someone else on the thread pointed out that dirty talk “doesn’t have to be a conversation.”
“Sometimes it’s descriptive (‘Suck that d*ck’), sometimes it’s instructive (‘Go deeper’), sometimes it’s affirmative (‘That ass feels amazing’). Sometimes questions aren’t really meant to be questions (‘You like that?’ meaning ‘I want you to like that’),” that commenter added.
“Sometimes I’m so in the moment that I’m just sort of verbalizing/saying whatever. At the same time, being totally silent is kind of a version of ‘starfishing’ for me. I don’t need female-pornstar levels of over-the-top screaming and ‘ooh babys,’ but give me some grunts, groans, something! It doesn’t need to be constant throughout sex, but some guys are just way too quiet.”
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“This is exactly it,” another Redditor responded. “[You] shouldn’t be faking it, but just saying how you’re feeling in the moment, what you like, and want them to do, etc. Not looking for full literary paragraphs, just the word/sentence that comes in the moment.”
Someone else chimed in to say, “This. Can’t stand the silent guys. Dude, give me some kind of feedback.”
“I’m vers, and love it either way,” a third user wrote. “Love making a guy moan or being a vocal dom. Also love begging and being told what to do.”
(For the record, that user did say that he’s “more silent in public, though”!)
DavidIntl
To each his own. To me, most conversation or even noises seem contrived and insincere, so I would prefer not to have the distraction. In general, I feel like a lot of guys are being guided too much by porn these days, and so looking to be ‘pounded’ more than looking for genuine affection.
bachy
It’s hot when the guy is saying things that I find hot and exciting. And vice versa, of course. But if he’s saying things I find strange or a turn-off (ie, “baby talk”), it doesn’t work.
I suspect there might be a “dirty talk compatibility” factor that you either have, or don’t have. You can’t really fake it. For long, anyway.
Claytonisahobo
I love it if both parties are into it and on the same page.
I hate it when guys don’t make any sound at all. I am not interested in faking it like you are in a porn or something, but at least moan a bit so I know you are having fun.
MrMichaelJ
Was topping this hot so-called “straight” surfer the other month and he said “f 8ck me daddy” and, nope, that was it. Stopped and haven’t hooked up with him since.
bachy
Was it being called “daddy” that was the turnoff? Or was it that the dirty talk was incest-related?
smittoons
I don’t really like actual conversation or jokes during sex, even if I’m dating the funniest person I know, but if it’s heightened to be something more uninhibited and raw which would never get uttered outside of sex when your guard is down? That feels intimate and hot, along with some grunts etc. But I draw the line at daddy/baby talk and honking/screaming moans.