be warned

Gay guys reveal their biggest turn-offs in the bedroom

A post on Reddit has asked gay guys what their biggest turn-offs are in the bedroom. Posted on the “AskGayBros” subreddit, user @pen775. asked men to share their instant boner killers.

“Say you are in the middle of hot sex enjoying and … then this kills the moment,” he quizzed.

The thread gained over 100 responses in a little over 12 hours. And there was one clear winner.

“Poor hygiene.”

“Poor hygiene” was the most well-liked comment. There were also variations on the theme, with others mentioning bad breath, body odor, “Smell of Doo Do” and “d*ck cheese.”

Following poor hygiene were a range of answers. It turns out we all want a bit of cuddling.

“People who are exclusively the little spoon,” said one user. “80% of the guys I’ve been with (tops and bottoms) only want to be the little spoon or lay on my chest. Now I’m not super into cuddling and I don’t mind being the big spoon but every once in a while I want to feel safe too.”

One big guy agreed: “Same. I’m 6’3″ and definitely a bear, nobody ever considers I might want to be held sometimes.”

Two men cuddle and kiss
Posed by models (Photo: Shutterstock)

Others asked for other forms of consideration.

“When they finish and then decide your pleasure isn’t worth it and just stop,” was another well-liked comment. “My ex did this to me once and rolled over and told me to finish myself off once he finished and I felt almost used in a way and was extremely upset.”

Related: Seven things more important than how you like your partner

A little more contentiously, someone mentioned a dismissive attitude toward sexual health.

“I was recently laying in bed with a guy and we were getting close, touchy freely, etc… then we got on the topic of sexual health and he said, “Well, as a gay man, you should just expect to catch something every once in a while.” Instant boner killer.”

Others suggested that statistically speaking, it is likely that most gay men will experience an STI at some time in their life. And hey, it’s always a good idea to talk about sexual health with partners. However, the original poster clarified that he was put off by his partner’s ‘whatever’ attitude toward acquiring infections.

Nipples and rough play

It seems a lot of men could relate to a response relating to nipples.

“I have sensitive nipples so it’s mostly when someone bites them,” said one guy. Others agreed: play with them but don’t go overboard unless given permission to do so.

Another well-liked answer was, “Being too aggressive/rough.” One guy mentioned a partner slapping him across the face without warning.

Other boner killers included: Food crumbs in the bed, a messy house or bedroom, “pushy dudes”, “bad dirty talking”, and “Someone calling me ‘daddy’”.

Related: Help: My boyfriend mocks me for doing “gay stuff”

In short, unless you know they have a kink, keep yourself clean, tidy your bedroom, throw in some foreplay and post-coital cuddling, and make sure you’re not being a selfish lover. And go easy on the nipples.

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