Embezzling Investigation Uncovers Florida Gov Charlie Crist’s Alleged Gay Trysts

Each week, Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week.

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Allegations have surfaced that former Florida Governor Charlie Crist paid off two men to hide some of his homosexual indiscretions. It’s hardly the first time gay rumors have surfaced about the perma-tanned Republican, but there’s actually something of a paper trail here.

Florida TV station WTSP claims a police report relating to embattled former Florida GOP Party Chair Jim Greer, who stands accused of lining his pocket with party funds, shines a light on Crist’s proclivities.

The law-enforcement report details an exchange between Greer attorney Damon Chase, and John Morgan, a partner at the law firm Crist works at:

Chase had contacted Morgan, as Chase believed Morgan was the attorney representing Crist, to set up a time wherein Chase could depose Crist. In essence, Chase indicated to Morgan that if he (Chase) had to take Crist’s deposition, Crist was not going to like what Chase asked, as it would contain embarrassing things and would be used to impeach his testimony.

When Morgan inquired what embarrassing things Chase was referring to, Chase indicated that he would be forced to impeach Crist by addressing the following issues:

1. Charlie Crist was a homosexual and had homosexual relationships with at least two men who were paid to leave the state to avoid embarrassing then-Governor Crist.

2. Governor Crist kissed or attempted to kiss Greer at a hotel in Beverly Hills, California,

3. Governor Crist’s drunken escapades, and how Governor Crist’s security detail had to cover for him

4. Governor Crist attempting to run people over while intoxicated and operating a golf cart.

So Crist is a boozy slut who likes to go all Amanda Bynes on the golf course? Sounds like our kind of girl! But it still means—as a closet case and the onetime governor of a state that technically bans gay adoptions, passed a measure banning gay marriage and civil unions (while Crist was in office), and still hasn’t repealed its unconstitutional sodomy laws—he’s a douche of the first order.

Then again, Morgan claimed the accusations were just a ruse to embarrass the former guv. He then pulled out his library card and read Chase for filth. According to the files:

Morgan stated that if Crist were homosexual why would he try to kiss Greer, specifically stating, ‘(Crist) would have to be a sick son of a bitch to try to kiss Porky the Pig,’ in reference to Greer.

Crist responded to WTSP’s news item by calling the gay allegations “a bunch of delusional lies.”

In this instance, there seems to be a confederacy of douches: Crist (if the pay-off allegations are true), Greer (for lining his pockets with party dues) and Morgan (for calling Greer a heifer).

All together now: What a bunch of douches!