fake out

Emmy-nominated TV star accidentally “comes out” on National Coming Out Day, apologizes for mixup

By · Updated on January 26, 2024
Photo Credit: Getty Images

October 11 marked National Coming Out Day, which we’ve been celebrating all month long with our Out For Good series, and—for a little while there—we thought we had one more celebrity to add to our ranks!

But forgive us for forgetting that sometimes “coming out” doesn’t always mean “out of the closet.”

The star in question is the fabulous Allison Tolman, an actress best known for her Emmy-nominated work in the first season of FX’s Fargo, and the second season of Marc Cherry’s dark Paramount+ drama Why Women Kill.

Related: LGBTQ staff at White House post photo to mark National Coming Out Day

This past Tuesday—October 11—Tolman posted two photos with a woman named Kate. The pair looked happy (joyful, even!) with drinks in hand. Now, sweet photos like these, you might just tap a quick “like” and keep scrolling, but it was Tolman’s caption that stopped us in our tracks:

“We’re doing it we did it we’re together we’re out!,” she wrote.

Together? Out? On National Coming Out Day?? The post had us jumping for joy: “Welcome to the family, Allison!,” we thought. We had no reason to believe otherwise!

 

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A post shared by Allison Tolman (@allison_tolman)

Alas, it turns out the whole thing was an innocent and very funny misunderstanding. In the days since the original post, Tolman has updated the post “for clarification because I’m an idiot,” while thankfully keeping the original caption in tact, for posterity’s sake.

“This is my college friend Kate who is visiting from St. Louis,” she wrote. “We haven’t seen each other in years. We finally hauled ourselves off the couch and out into public to see [Terrible, Thanks For Asking podcast] live. I wrote this caption super fast before turning my phone off for the show. I didn’t mean to accidentally come out on National Coming Out Day, and I can’t wait to tell this story on a podcast. Jesus f*ck.”

Related: Janelle Monáe’s fluid identity is its own kind of queer liberation

It was too good to be true. But, delightfully, Tolman has a very good sense of humor about the whole thing, and even proved herself to be quite the ally with an additional caption update a short while after:

“I can promise you if I ever come out in an Instagram post,” she added, “it will be with professionally shot thirst trap photos of me and the super hot masc lesbian or enby of my dreams who has finally rescued me from a lifetime of dating men.”

And, folks, that‘s how it’s done.

Alison, if that day should ever come, we will anxiously await those thirst traps, and can promise to leave a hearty “YES QUEEN!!!! *rainbow emoji* *pride flag emoji* *sobbing face emoji* in the comments.

Yesterday, the actress took to Twitter to update her followers who may have missed the kerfuffle on the other app: “I need Twitter to know that over on Instagram I accidentally and falsely outed myself and my college roommate on Tuesday evening.”

Accidental or not, much of Gay Twitter™ and some of Tolman’s famous friends showed up in the replies to share their support. It may not have been the National Coming Out Day story we were hoping for, but the whole thing was too hysterical and sweet to pass up.

Related: Professional baseball player Maybelle Blair hit a grand slam when she came out… at 95!

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