Topher Gen is a millennial who says he’s done with meaningless hookups thanks to his millennial peers who have ruined them.
“Every time I’ve hooked up with someone I’m left with a fuzzy feeling of discontent,” Topher writes in a new op-ed for Gay Star News. “Thoughts run wildly through my mind: ‘I’ve let my body be used’ being the most common.”
“To me, that’s one of the dangers of hooking up with someone,” he continues. “You risk feeling awful afterwards. So why do we do it? Why did I do it?”
Topher says that he used to use hookups as a “coping mechanism” for everything from getting over breakups to getting over hangovers.
He adds, “A lot of people who struggle with mental health issues use hook-ups as a way of making them feel like they’re worth something, that they are desirable.”
But, he wonders, is meaningless sex with a stranger really a healthy way of coping with life’s adversities?
Hook-ups can be a way to temporarily fill the void; but when the sex is done and you’re both suspiciously eyeing each other, waiting to see who reaches for their clothes first, all the loneliness and sticky aches come back.
After giving it some very serious thought, Topher concluded that his millennial peers have turned sex into a “dangerously casual activity” and have thereby ruined hookup culture.
The more it is normalized, the more our generation is armed with a sense of entitlement when it comes to other people’s bodies. We don’t hope for sex anymore, we expect it.
Much of what I’ve said will provoke some huffing and eye-rolling, but hook-up culture can blur the line of consent to such a degree that some guys think if a boy comes back to their bed then that constitutes consent to any and all sexual activities. A lot of people feel they are owed sex in this situation, when the reality is you’re not owed anything.
Needless to say, Topher is D-O-N-E done!
“Hook-ups are replacing intimacy with a quick shot of pleasure,” he writes, “one that is often inherently destructive. It might be all fun and games at the time but in the long run you’re risking emotional damage and disconnection.”
“There’s also the potential for physical damage,” he adds.
He says he no longer possess the “emotional equilibrium” required to engage in meaningless sex with strangers.
“Sex, for me, is unsatisfying unless there’s emotions tied to it,” he writes.
h/t: Gay Star News