Perhaps the best thing about Pride season, aside from the endless parades and raging circuit parties, is all the fresh meat out-of-towners on Grindr.
Related: These Unfortunate #ScruffFails Will Ensure You Don’t Get Any Tail This Holiday Weekend
Of course, if you actually want to reap the benefits of this special time of year, you’ll want to make sure you don’t make a fool of yourself over text. Remember, when it comes to hooking up, first impressions are, well, kind of the only thing that matters. Don’t screw it up.
Scroll down for more #GrindrFails that will ensure you get absolutely no hanky panky this Pride…
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kossl2000
Someone of these don’t really seem like fails. Like ‘When we having sex?’ Has probably worked for that guy a bunch. And a couple others seem to be out of context, like we’re missing an entire chunk of conversation. And whats so stupid about asking someone if they’re a student or gay? Some of these should be reclassed as #grindrsnob
1898
who still uses grindr?
jamih
@1898: Around 10 000 000 people around the world.
Daniel-Reader
Isn’t that the app the Chinese government uses to track gay people? Since it was purchased by a chinese company it now falls under their country rules. For example, China outlaws any depiction of gay people on television.
1898
@kossl2000: asking someone on grindr if they’re gay is a bit like asking the pope if he’s catholic
kossl2000
@1898: there are actually quite a few of guys on Grindr that don’t identify as gay.
1898
@kossl2000: Right, the “str8 masc4masc” ones who want eggplants in their peaches.
The Scientartist
@1898: Or bisexual/pansexual guys.
Still a dumb question though, who cares if he’s gay or not, we all know why he’s on grindr
OzJosh
@kossl2000: Yeah, they identify as “bi” or “str8” (always “str8”, I guess because they can’t even spell “straight”), but they spend every waking hour cruising for sex with other guys.
jesusbangedmybootie
I know a couple dudes who are not on grindr for sex. they sell stuff. which is good cuz im tired of getting asked if i can share/host/top/call my friends/demands demands demands and all they have shown me so far is a badly taken shot of their butt.
yeah i can host, but I dont feel like it. it aint hard to find a bottom, so u want me send me an uber and try not not to be too cracked out once i get there. Ill try to pretend you just have tourettes. I will not be staying until you finish.
jesusbangedmybootie
if you tell me your straight. u have lost me. i dont find it fun to play an annoying roleplay game where we just chat about lame crap you think straight guys talk about until you awkwardly stumble through a bad lay. sorry you have issues, when you are past them enough to have sex, hit me back up.
Oh and no i dont want to meet your girlfriend, it’s weird dude
zooby
@kossl2000: Yeah, they’re called closet cases / closeted cowards.
zooby
@The Scientartist: This might come as a shock – but some guys do not want to deal with “straight” guys. It’s why you see so many guys on the app now say in their profile that they refuse to talk to faceless profiles
Malcolm Forest
Perhaps all you guys could do a totally wierd thing like meet a real person and make a real meaningful connection to them?
Malcolm Forest
jeez since when have gay men become so stupid and shallow and just right out dumb?