Back in August 2016, we shared the uniquely awkward moment in which “heartthrob of the Olympics” Pita Taufatofua was accosted by Al Roker, Hoda Kotb, and Jenna Bush during a cringeworthy Today Show segment.
The clip featured the soul-drinkingly chirpy trio smearing palmfuls of coconut oil all over the shirtless flag-bearer and Taekwondo fighter, while he appears frozen in an otherworldly thrall of discomfort.
Days after, another Today Show personality lured Taufatofua into even more smeary shenanigans: Alex Ficquette (aka Alex on the Plaza) asked Taufatofua if he’d be willing to demonstrate how to best apply coconut oil to one’s own physique — y’know, in order to better show off their gleaming musculature. Because, much like masturbation, it’s just not the sort of thing one should learn to do alone.
Here’s a taste of that dialogue, in case you haven’t committed it to heart:
“Where do I start? What do I do?” Ficquette airily wondered.
“Okay, it’s magic stuff. As soon as it touches your skin…”
“Muscles grow. 100%… 100% better.”
Well, now you can look forward to Taufatofua causing any number of reporters to stammer, stutter, walk confidently into lampposts and oncoming traffic, trip over turnstiles, etc.: He’s just qualified for the Winter Games — as a cross-country skier.
To celebrate this banner occasion, we thought we’d take the opportunity to ransack Pita Taufatofua‘s Instagram account.
Here is the (low-hanging) fruit of our labors:
Thank you CEP for the awesome compression wear! I’m sorry but I ended up giving half of it away to my Brazilian competitor Paulo who raced in old socks with holes and had no access to such high quality gear, he loved it! @cepsports – @cepcompression @cepsportsuk @tongaskiteam #sports #recovery #man #olympian #training #athlete #crosscountryskiing
Huge privilege this week, asked to be the face of "Climate Change" in Tonga and the Pacific! Protecting our forests and oceans is all of our responsibility – – – – – – -#taekwondo #ski #athlete #nature #beach #yoga #climatechange #green #protectnature #exerciseDaily #oceans #training #sun #surf #man #sunset #sports #moana #pitalolo #healthyeating #hapkido #calisthenics #tonga #polynesian #inspire #fitlife #dreambig #workout #active #motivation