Is sexting cheating? That’s what researchers in the U.K. wanted to know.
In an online survey, 2,150 men and women were asked about their thoughts on sending sexually-charged text messages and dirty pictures of themselves to people other than their partners, and whether they considered it a form of cheating.
Related: Fabulous At 71, Martha Stewart Admits To Sexting, One Night Stands, Threesomes
35 percent of respondents said that yes, sexting is tantamount to cheating. Meanwhile, one in 10 say they thought it was “just a bit of fun.” And 62 percent said sending dirty pictures is worse than sending dirty texts.
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Eight percent of respondents said they had sexted with someone other than their partner in the last year, and one third of them said the sexting had resulted in them ultimately meeting up and having sex behind their partner’s back.
Rupi Rai, a family solicitor at the law firm Slater & Gordon, who commissioned the study, says more and more clients are seeking divorces after learning of their partners’ sexting ways.
Related: Six Inventions That Changed The Way You Have Sex
“We have seen a rise in number of clients coming to us who think their partner has crossed the line and committed adultery, but not in the traditional sense,” Rai tells the Independent. “What some might consider a harmless bit of fun–like sending flirty messages or explicit pictures–others consider to be detrimental to their relationship and cause as much hurt and upset as physically cheating. The research is real warning to couples about being careful not to cross that line.”
What do you think? Is sexting cheating? Let us know in the poll below.
Paco
It isn’t cheating if you aren’t hiding it, but it is providing the opportunity to do more than just sext. Humans flirt to find potential sexual partners. It isn’t just for the laughs. If you are supposed to be in an agreed upon monogamous relationship and are seeking something sexual from others, you need to have some serious discussions with your partner about what is missing.
If you have to hide it from your partner, it is wrong. If you care so little about your partner’s feelings, then you should remain single.
enlightenone
@Paco: “…If you have to hide it from your partner, it is wrong. If you care so little about your partner’s feelings, then you should remain single…”
There are so few WISE gay men. You are one of the few on Queerty (elevating what Queerty lacks)!!! I’m sure I have become rather redundant given your thoughtful, informed comments on this site. When you don’t comment on a discussion, your voice is missed.
Chris
I have issues with this ever-expanding use of terms.
A person’s making really good friends at work is considered to be a form of “emotional cheating” because they confide things in those friends that they do not tell their partners. Guess what, that’s been happening since forever.
And sexting is now becoming actual cheating. As if…
As far as I have ever known, cheating entails having real-life physical (not virtual) sex with an individual who is not your partner. Everything else may be on the path towards cheating, but (IMHO) it’s not cheating.
I realize that we live in an era of non-binary grays. But I’ll take me some good old fashioned clarity on this one. If my partner has issues with what I’m doing, we’ll need to talk about it. But if we can’t agree on what’s what, then our issues are probably unsurmountable.
SportGuy
It’s not that complicated, sexting is cheating.
Billy Budd
Sorry guys, sexting is NOT cheating. I am old fashioned and in my view cheating happens only when you kiss and fuck someone else.
CivicMinded
What are possible consequences of cheating? STD, pregnancy, emotional distance in the relationship. If the consequence defines cheating then the first two say that sexting isn’t cheating. One could argue that emotional distance caused the cheating rather than being a symptom. If my partner is sexting I’d feel like he’s trying to tell me that I’m not enough or that he’s not committed.
I know a couple who regularly have threesomes because one of them has an incredible libido. It works for them. They’ve been together for 30 years and are legally married. So I guess if you’re open and honest with your partner and have an agreement it’s not cheating. If you’re doing it on the sly then you’re disrespecting your partner and you have far more serious problems.
onthemark
Ugh. I wish everyone would just stop using the word “cheating.” (Unless you are referring to poker.) It’s appropriate only for characters on soap operas and, perhaps, 1950s New Yorker stories that involve martinis.
And no, of course sexting is not it! Grow the fuck up, people.
NateB79
Well you can try to spin it anyway that you like and whether you like the word or not, sexting is a form of cheating. Sending pics of your junk and talking sexually to someone behind your SO’s back is cheating on them. You are cheating them out of the relationship that you promised. Unless monogamy isn’t part of the equation and never was, you’re sharing part of yourself that you agreed to only share with your partner.