Mom Seeks Gay Son

Sarah Bird loves a good gay. Or, at least, a certain type of gay, which explains why the journalist penned a recent column declaring little homos are the way to go-go:

We all know the fate that awaits mothers of heterosexual sons. After straight boys learn how to order pizza, Mom becomes an abstraction. Straight sons sort of get that their mom is a tremendously powerful force in their lives, but, like the Federal Reserve System, they have no real understanding of or interest in how she works.

But gay men, whole other story. And that story is “Auntie Mame.” Suddenly the maternal presence is a showstopping diva in chinchilla fitting a Benson Hedges into a 2-foot cigarette holder and zinging everyone in sight with one-liners, instead of Ma Kettle in a Mother Hubbard apron dishing up the possum stew and never exfoliating.

Such a sad, neglected group. Let’s start a foundation for these poor unfortunate souls!

But, seriously, the reader who sent this in, a woman, wondered why people are never begging for a lesbian daughter. Not enough cultural worth?