DADDY KNOWS BEST

Pastor Eddie Long Pays Off The 4 Guys He Totally Didn’t (But Probably Did) Molest

Raving homophobe and incredibly gay Pastor Eddie “Daddy” Long has settled with the four young men who accused him of “sexual coercion” with his promises of cars, travel, and cash.

Long’s lawyer says the lawsuits will be dropped by the end of the day tomorrow and the accusers’ lawyer has said that “neither she nor the plaintiffs—Maurice Robinson, Jamal Parris, Anthony Flagg and Spencer LeGrande—[will] be available for an interview “on this matter, now or in the future.” Nice.

But we think, “If there were four, there gotta be more,” not only because it’s plausible but also because it rhymes.

Initially two young men in Long’s church came forward saying that Pastor Long tried to jerk-off, massage, and blow them while alone. Then a third appeared, then a fourth . Prostie-loving meth queen Ted Haggard defended Long by saying he was only trying to man-up his church. Then Daddy Long got accused of financially fleecing his own congregants and to make himself feel better he invited a bunch of men over to his big gay sleepover, er, we mean “prayer meeting.”

We guess the prayer worked, eh Daddy Long? Who’s next?

Via Joe.My.God.