Pope Apologizes

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You may have head about the pope – everyone’s favorite former nazi bigot religious leader – and his less-than-sparkling comments about Muslims last week. In case you missed it, he said:

Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.

It totally didn’t fly and people were straight up pissed. In an effort to quell some of the ire, the pope made a rare, unexpected apology.

I am deeply sorry for the reactions in some countries to a few passages of my address which were considered offensive. These were in fact quotations from a medieval text, which do not in any way express my personal thought…The true meaning of my address in its totality was and is an invitation to frank and sincere dialogue, with great mutual respect.

Hmmm, that’s the most half-assed apology we’ve heard since Arnold Schwarzenegger apologized for calling Latinos “hot blooded.” Anyway, aren’t most of the things the pope says from a medieval text? And when do the gays get an apology for all the shit he throws on us? We’re pissed, too. Do we need to form some sort of underground movement and blow shit up first?

Fuck. Do we have to issue an apology now? If we do, will anyone care?