A closeted football player living in the United Kingdom has written an anguished letter to the popular newspaper The Sun detailing life as a closeted gay man. The anonymous player fears coming out would have a detrimental effect on his career.
“As a kid, all I ever wanted to be was a footballer,” the player begins, before going on to detail the excitement of his dream coming true when he entered the professional leagues. “However there is something that sets me apart from most of the other players in the Premier League. I am gay.”
“Even writing that down in this letter is a big step for me,” he admits. The player also claims a few people close to him know the truth about his sexuality, but he feels uncomfortable sharing that detail with his coach or teammates. Though he’s known he’s gay since he was 19, he’s felt a need to keep his sexuality hidden to further his own career. That choice has led him to a lucrative life as a sports star, and left him incredibly lonely.
Related: This NFL player says there’s at least one gay on every pro football team
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“But one thing I am missing is companionship,” he confesses. “I am at an age where I would love to be in a relationship. But because of the job I do the level of trust in having a long-term partner has to be extremely high. So, at the moment, I avoid relationships at all.”
Furthermore, the player writes that though the Premiere League ostensibly offers services for players to come out and receive counseling, their offer does nothing to curb systemic homophobia in sports.
“This is missing the point,” the player contends. “If I need a counselor I can go and book a session with one whenever I want. What those running the game need to do is educate fans, players, managers, agents, club owners — basically everyone involved in the game.”
“I wish I didn’t have to live my life in such a way,” he writes. “But the reality is there is still a huge amount of prejudice in football…Footballers are still too scared to make the step while they are playing.”
The player praises former pro footballer Thomas Beattie for coming out last month, though he notes that Beattie had to wait until retirement to come out. The player also pays homage to the Justin Fashanu Foundation, a group that offers counseling services to closeted athletes. The Foundation takes its name from football player Justin Fashanu who came out of the closet in 1990, only to take his own life eight years later. The anonymous player doesn’t want to end up the same way.
“I know it might get to the point where I find it impossible to keep living a lie,” the player fears. “If I do my plan is to retire early and come out. I might be throwing away years of a lucrative career. But you can’t put a price on your peace of mind. And I don’t want to live like this forever.”
There are currently no openly-queer players among pro footballers in the UK, though–much like the case with sports in the USA–commentators and rumors predict that the league has several gay players who, like the author of this anonymous letter, stay in the closet for fear of hurting their careers.
Cam
Poor guy. Things slowly move forward, but that doesn’t mean they are all good.
Hopefully when a player finally comes out they get a ton of endorsement deals and that helps others come out.
Jim
I usually would say something like it’s the 21st Century get over it.
But sadly the world of sports is not in the 21st Century.
Kinda strange because the US military got their over a decade ago..
And the Israel military a generation ago. And we know what wimps they are!
MISTERJETT
everyone comes out in his or her own time or they decide not to come out ever. if and when he does, we’ll be here to welcome him.
Josh447
At some point…I think it’s going to become obvious that the first currently playing NFL/UK player to come out will be regarded as a super hero. The tipping point is here I believe, it just takes a gay football hero to see it and project the courage he knows he has, to make it happen. If that super hero is listening what I can say is; Just Do It!
Josh447
At some point… I think it’s going to become obvious that the first currently playing NFL/UK player to come out will be regarded as a super hero. The tipping point is here I believe, it just takes a gay football hero to see it and project the courage he knows he has, to make it happen. If that super hero is listening what I can say is; Just Do It!
Donston
Isn’t this the third time in several years a supposedly famous soccer player has anonymously written about the fear of being out? I hate to have such immediately cynical instincts. But it starts to feel scammy after so many times. This is also The Sun we’re talking about.
I will say that sex is one thing. A lot of these guys are doing whatever behind the scenes. But avoiding dating or hiding long-term relationships for the sake of not being outed has a layer of tragedy. No one should have to hide who they want to love, who they want to be and have relationships with. And fear of being outed keeping you from indulging serious same-sex investment has to be depressing and has to stunt your emotional maturity.
clhs
*football*.
Fixed that for you.
Donston
I’m American. Our version of football is so popular here. So, “soccer” is the only way to distinguish the sports.
Prax07
So he’s choosing his career over living a happy life. I’m sorry but people who do that, then are unhappy and complain about it are idiots. They’ve done it to themselves, so why bitch about it.
Cam
He didn’t chose to make bigotry and harassment a reality.
Kangol2
As far as the US and other societies have advanced, it’s clearly still a challenge for male players to come out in the top male sports leagues. Some have done so in lower-level leagues in various team sports, but the British Premier League is the pinnacle in the sport of soccer, and this player clearly does not feel it’s safe to be out, particularly in a loving relationship. I doubt he’s the only one. But it’s not just the Premier League; a few years ago a major league baseball player was supposed to be coming out…and it never happened and still hasn’t. We did see an out football player, Michael Sam, who received lots of lip service and little true support from the league, and since then, no other active NFL players have come out. Jason Collins came out in the NBA, and since then…no one. As several people on here have said, whoever does take that step, especially if it’s a well-known and talented athlete, will be embraced by a vast swath of people, and would have endorsements to live off for the rest of his life. But it’s clearly still terrifying to these guys right now.
Liamer
Lol, someone don’t watch Premier League nor read The Sun.
nmarkwb
It just breaks my heart. I hope he finds a way out. Otherwise when he retires he’ll be old and bitter.