Younger’s Nico Tortorella is profiled in Vulture this week, where we find him feeding pigeons Lucky Charms in Manhattan’s Tompkins Square Park and opening up about his sexuality, his past battles with drugs and alcohol, and why he never wants to marry another man.
Related: ‘Sexually Fluid’ Nico Tortorella Asked Whether It’s Harder To Date Men Or Women. Here’s His Answer.
Besides the fact that he has a propensity to talk about moon cycles and has an unusually fervid interest in the healing power of crystals, here are a few takeaways from the story, in his own words.
On the first time he hooked up with a man:
How about we take this to the next level?
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This is going to sound fucked, but I knew that he was really struggling. And I was like, Look, if I hook up with him, maybe it will make things easier for him.
We hooked up. There was no assplay at all. It was just dick-to-mouth here. He was shaken up about it and I was like, ‘It’s fine. What happened last night doesn’t make you the person that you are. Why are you putting so much weight on it?’ And when that happened, I was like, Oh, I’m thinking about this differently than everyone else is thinking about it.
On how he identifies (“I never labeled myself as sexually fluid,” he says):
The more I’m having these conversations, the more comfortable I am identifying as bisexual. I’ve been so hesitant about using the word for so long, because it does have a negative connotation in our generation. People fought for so long for that ‘B’ in LGBT, and I refuse to be the person that’s going to throw that away because I think I have a more colorful word.
On society’s views of sexuality and race:
The only way to move to a genderless, raceless society is if everybody, across the board, (a) stops being an asshole, and (b) stops being so fucking sensitive.
On same-sex marriage:
Ultimately, in my fluidity, at the end of the day I never could see myself marrying a man. I could never see myself having kids with a man. I don’t even like hanging out with dudes for the most part.
On drug and alcohol binges:
Once you’re blacked out, there’s not enough cocaine in the world that can take you off it. There was one point where I was so fucked up, I woke up hung-over, I called the IV doctor to come to my apartment, and I hooked up the drip for like an hour. As soon as it was done, I bought a bag of coke and had a handle of fucking whiskey and started all over again. Living the Hollywood dream.
On why he got sober:
I definitely got into the underbelly of Hollywood. When you’re living the celebrity life and not working at the same time, shit can go dark real fast. I was drinking almost all day, every day, and hurting people that I love. I knew I was going to die at one point. I wanted to die at one point, and that was what made me turn around.
You can read the article in its entirety HERE.
Related: Hunky Star Of ‘Younger’ Nico Tortorella Comes Out As Sexually Fluid
Billy Budd
He does not seem to be a balanced and rational individual. But I must say that I think bisexuality is awesome and represents the future for human race.
kent25
lol not as long as people go to church lmao
DDstar1me
Jesus…that smile gets me every time! Those beautiful eyes. he is my crush like no other. The only reason I watch younger is in anticipation of his scenes.
He seems like a douche…but he also seems like a chill dude. I love it. He gets a pass from me. Just cause. In truth, I hope he stays healthy and drug free. He has natural talent.
Heywood Jablowme
“I never labeled myself as sexually fluid.”
“Ultimately, in my fluidity [!], at the end of the day I could never see myself marrying a man.”
Uhhh… which is it? He’s still fluid, and sloshing around all over the place.
kent25
YeP that’s what all gay closeted gay men say I can’t see myself marrying a man lol
Heywood Jablowme
@Billy Budd: Just because you like to have sex a lot with “straight” married guys, that doesn’t mean bisexuality is “the future for human race.” 🙂
kent25
lol True some fool call themselves Bisexuals and have no idea what bisexuality is. lol having gay sex with a married man makes them bisexual LMAO
Brian
Nick doesn’t want to be pigeon-holed by identity politics, I suspect. I applaud him for that. There are too many liberal label-pushers out there who wish to impose the gay identity onto any man who’s ever had a sexual thought about another man, no matter how minor.
I share Nick’s discomfort with the word “bisexual”. It’s such an inaccurate word. It suggests you are half/half when it comes to liking men and women. That’s not the truth at all in the majority of cases.
Jack Meoff
This sounds like another case of a celeb who will say do whatever he thinks will get him more media coverage. No authenticity.
kent25
Exactly
CaliKyle
Again with this over-tatted, unattractive attention whore? I don’t care whether he ids as fluid, bi, or whatever – all I know for sure is that dippy dude is 100% pretentious af.
CaliKyle
@Brian: No one is forcing a label on Nico, he can’t seem to keep his mouth shut about his own ever changing sexuality. In other words, he’s the only pigeon holing himself. But I do share your aversion to the notion that the term bisexual implies equal degree and frequency of attraction to both sexes. Its why I always have id’d as gay even though I am also sometimes sexually attracted to and involved with women. Ive never met anyone who is truly attracted to both sexes equally. They might say they are but in practice their preference always reveals itself.
amigay
He’s another one who is famous for being famous.
bigrawtop
I applaud his awareness of the fight for us to gain our identity as LGBT. So many young people just want to cast it away. The negative connotations are an insult to those of us who have proudly stood out and sometimes suffered wearing our “horrible” labels. I think those who don’t want the labels just want to safely blend in with their straight friends.
Bisexual has never meant 50/50, who made that shit up?
Billy Budd
@Heywood Jablowme: I do not have sex with straight married guys. My boyfriend is gay like myself. But based on social science and history, I know that bisexuality should and will become the norm again in the future.
kent25
lol You better lay off those drugs
CaliKyle
@bigrawtop: Who made that shit up? Don’t know. Maybe it was one of the gay guys who hid behind the term because of shame and denial. Or maybe it was one of the straight girls who claim bisexuality mostly as a way to get attention and tittilate straight guys. Perhaps it was one of the countless people who mistakenly perceive or define bisexuality as “swinging both ways” as if its the swiss army knife of sexualities, ready to do anyone and everyone, girl and boy. In any case, bisexual is most often an inaccurate, misleading label, as far as labels go.
MikeGinMN
Disturbing. Yes, I am not hanging on this putz’s every word. Nick, the ONLY thing of value you said in these excerpts, was about your trip to find sobriety. Everything else was non-sense. Sex, relationships, career (what exactly do you do?) and celebrity (what the hell makes a person a celebrity these days?).
It is time to think of life beyond photo shoots in your underwear… because that isn’t going to last… and no one remembers 99% of Hollywood idiot man/boys
kent25
LOL That’s so true, and after that little show gets canceled no one will remember who or what he is
Deepdow
@Brian:
You’re such a word whore.
Donston
Sorry for the semi long length of this post. But there seems to be so much delusion going on in the worlds regarding male sexuality and it needs to start being sorted out.
Research and studies continue to show that unlike some women, men are just not inherently attracted to opposite cis genders. Their persistent bi behavior is much, much more likely to be driven by narcissism, habit, comfort, personality disorder, fetish or just plan self-denial. Almost none of these bi, fluid, queer, etc guys are willing to admit they have genuine sexual attraction to both women and men. That’s because the vast majority of them don’t. They say things like: “I don’t allow gender to determine who I date and have sex with”, “I just enjoy life”, “I enjoy different people’s energy”, etc. It’s all an evasive tactic to hide why they’re really living a “bi-life”.
The idea of sexual orientation being “fluid” is deeply narcissistic, especially for men. They don’t find men or women attractive until they’re interacting with them. That shows that someone’s sexual activity is driven more by ego than sexual orientation. And I don’t have too much of a problem with that if that’s the life you want to live, as long as there’s honesty with yourself and with your partners.
Nico has already admitted that he’s not attracted to men and women. So, the dude ain’t bi. Having read a few whole interviews of his it’s obvious that he’s narcissist. He can’t stop talking about his sex life (is that all you have to offer the world?), and yet, he remains muddled in his language. Being able to romance and sexually please a multitude of genders makes him feel special and unique and wanted and desired by everyone. He has sex and relationships with women because it boosts his ego. He can’t stop doing things to get attention from everyone. He is ridiculously pretentious and manipulative in his choice of words.
And yet, it’s not difficult to decipher that he’s a gay man, a gay man who’s completely uncomfortable being branded “gay”, uncomfortable with dating men and doesn’t want to live the “gay lifestyle”. It makes him feel good that despite not having attraction for women he can romance and sexually please women. And most importantly, being with women makes him feel less gay. Getting affection from women completes him and makes him more than just another basic fag. That’s why he can’t marry a dude. He can’t be reminded of his oppressive gay-ness everyday.
There’s nothing “progressive” about his stance. Homosexual people have been living his way for thousands of years. He’s just another self-denying, self-obsessed, people-using looney who will probably marry a woman and use men for sex on the side like a great deal of these “bi-guys”.
Donston
Just another little point.
Narcissistic gay men often have a very difficult time developing nuanced romantic relationships with other men because it emasculates them. They prefer to look at gay men as play things and sexual objects and fun times. They prefer to hang out with women and men who identify as straight, bi, fluid, etc. He shows all the signs of a prototypical gay narcissist.
It’s time we stop supporting these self-hating closet cases who’ll do everything in their power to avoid being “one of us”.
Prax07
He sounds like a complete douche… narcissistic and a tool.
Prax07
It’s been my personal experience that most, if not all guys that say they’re bi are really straight, but use bi as a free pass for having sex with men only when their women aren’t in the mood or they can’t find a ready and willing female. Never have I met a bi guy that was really honestly into men for anything other than someone to use to get off with.
Prax07
And yes, got one of them staying with me now. He tried suicide because his gf dumped him, after we’d been broken up for two months, and an hour after taking him in he was asking me for sex.
Donston
You can tell in the way he speaks about men, sex with men and attraction that he’s gay. (He’s also a bit of a fem). And believe me many, many gay men still say they’re bi, fluid, etc. They’re just not romantically interested in men, because being gay is too emasculating and suppressive and they’ve become used to being women or because of psychological/fetish reasons. In fact in a recent study it’s been show that around 73% of men who say they’re bi have a homosexual orientation. The rest are straight.
Anyone with a lick of sense knows most of these dudes aren’t truly bi-sexual.
Brian
@Donston: Your conclusions are just as presumptive as any straight guy’s.
Brian
@Prax07: That’s because “true” bisexuality exists in straight-identifying guys.
Straight-identifying guys can swing both ways. However, they won’t publicly identify as bi because women will punish them for it. Women recoil from men who have same-sex desires, and they will recoil even more from these men if they happen to be predominantly attracted to women. Women see such men as a a threat to girl power.
There is a whole sea of male bisexuality in straight-identifying guys that is not obvious in terms of public identification because of the female factor in opposing it.
Prax07
All I know is what I’ve personally experienced. My ex that’s staying with me for example, only admits being bi to me, no one else. He wants male sex when He wants it, never on my terms, but Only his. He loves his current gf, but comes to me when she’s being a bitch, or he gets horny for gay sex, which is rare. It’s like bi guys have an on/off switch and are only “bi” when it suits Their needs. Every bi I’ve ever known has followed that formula.
Donston
Why do gay men and women continue to push the bi guy agenda when were constantly being shown its bs. Its fetish, self denial and disorders. Do people forget that many gay men grow up having sex and relationships with women and it can become damn near impossible for them to embrace their orientation. Yes, some straight men develop fetishes where they enjoy dominating men sexually or being dominated by men. Yes gay 4 pay is real. And of course many straight men enjoy being sexually worshipped by men. This may lead to gay relationships. But the majority of these bi men looking to have persistent sex with men are homo
Amalgamate
The dude is gay-look at his face
Donston
They use their girlfriends and masculinity and kids and pussy eating to hide who they. Some gay men develop a fetish for sexually dominating women or being sexually dominated by women. This is why so many bi identifying men are so screwed up and indulging their bs will not help them. Either way this nico dude is clearly a delusional homo. No men who is straight or might be for real bi would spend this much time and effort trying to convince people they are not gay. They are not gonna put out there that they are looking for an open marraige with a woman so they can still have sex with men. And they are not usually that effiminate. He already subtly admitted to not being attracted to women. He is just a gay head case who does want to deal with being branded gay. And having relationships and sex with women boosts his ego and allows him to retain hetero dynamics..
Deepdow
@Brian:
Brian has no problem with straight identifying guys, but gay guys or guys that identify as gay?
It’s a leftist plot !!!
You wretched hypocrite.
Donston
To continue my soliloquy and flesh out my perspective:
Up until I was 23 I had sex and relationships with primarily women (I can recall only a couple of sexual instances with men). Oddly enough, those were the years where I most encountered men who identified as straight, bi and “I don’t believe in labels” who had frequent sex with men. Having in depth convos with these dudes you realize virtually none of them have real, substantial attraction to women and men.
It’s actually the straight men who come off sane and reasonable most of the time. Narcissism seems to drive them to want to have sex with men and get attention from gay men rather than high sex drives. While narcissistic gay men often can’t help seeking romantic and sexual attention from women. The deep closet cases say things like “I eat pussy so I can’t be gay”, “I don’t have relationships with men so I’m not gay”, “I don’t take it up the ass so I’m not gay”, “I don’t listen to club music so I’m gay” and etc.
You realize that one of the reasons guys have such a difficult time being comfortable with their homosexuality is that they believe they can never love another man. You realize that the majority of “bi guy” stuff is just mind games, self denial, fetish and narcissism. I have yet to see a case of real bi-sexuality in a man.
Dig a little deeper and you realize how far the delusion goes. How some gay men seek out tons of female partners and become promiscuous with women to feel less gay. How some straight men live the “gay lifestyle” for a few years just to get continuous attention from other men. How some gay men bottom for trans women and women with strap-ons so they don’t feel emasculated. How some gay and straight men are turned on by the opposite sex being abused. How some gay men purposely fill their lives with women and straight men so they are not confronted by their orientation. And so on.
It’s rough out here for many. And these are the things we should be digging into, not looking to promote the mostly mythical “bi guy” (and pretty white men with six packs).
frankcar1965
I’m sick and tired of all the fluidity shit. There is no Bi either. There is Bi behavior but no Bisexual people. These guys just are ashamed of being gay and liking dicks and man asses. Show them a pussy and they will run screaming. Let them smell a pussy and they will have a coronary. That’s why so many are cranked up on whatever, they hate themselves and self-medicate. Get a life.
ErikO
@FranCar1965 and Donston-Congratulations you’re a bigot and are just as hypocritical and worse than someone that’s homophobic as biphobia is just as bad as homophobia if not worse. Bisexual men do exist but gay men like you are idiots, and you probably both lust after the pipe dream of having sex with hetero men.
kent25
LMFAO
kent25
Can we stop filling up this channel with this asshole please, He like Caitlyn Jenner unwanted
kent25
Bisexuality is all about sex, no one can jump from a woman to a man, Now two so called bi women can exist because women share some kind of bond, It’s an emotional thing. No one love both men and women, And bi women can’t go for long with out a man and Bi men don’t exist. Bi women are just straight women who love sex with both men and women, love ain’t got nothing to do with it . I find it very strange all the so called bi men are very effeminate, they are beyond gay. wearing makeup and feminine clothing, A drag queen ain’t got shit on them . And they are only bi when they are dating a man, Because you never see them with a woman