THIS MAN'S ARMY

Same-Sex Sexual Assault At Prince Harry’s Royal Military Base

We’re not sure what form the assault against a young soldier at Wattisham Air Base in England took—mere roughhousing that got out of hand or serious sexual violation—but it’s clear Prince Harry, who’s stationed at the base, wasn’t involved.

The Daily Mail is reporting that on Saturday night, three drunken soldiers pinned a fellow trooper down as he was sleeping and “subjected the young man to a terrifying sexual assault” that had him running naked and “screaming for help.”

The Mail is one of England’s most notorious shit-stirring tabloids, though, and called the incident a “drunken ‘gay sex attack'” in its headline. So without any details it’s hard to say if these drunk Brits just teabagged their mate, seriously violated him, or what.

Also unclear is why this soldier was chosen for the assault. (Like the U.S., Britain allows gays and lesbians to serve openly in the Armed Forces.)

Though the Ministry of Defense won’t comment on an ongoing investigation, a spokesperson said “action will be taken against all those who fall short of the Army’s high standards.”

We’ll update this story with any more info.