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“Scally Lads” Like To Have Sex In Stinky Socks And Sweaty Track Suits

A new fetish is taking over Britain’s gay scene. “Scally Lads” are the hottest thing since boot-licking skinheads or double-fisting leather daddies.

“Gay fetish always marries itself with the street culture of the generation that came before it,” Phil Hamill, founder of Trackies.com and the internet’s largest gay fetish network, Recon, explains to Vice in an interview. “You have these younger gay kids watching these cultures develop around them in their formative years. As they become older they start to wear the gear, sexualizing it and it becomes a fetish.”

The word “scally” is a slang term from the U.K. used to describe young people from working class backgrounds. The guidelines for being a Scally Lad are very specific: straight-acting, blue collar, under 40, and into wearing tracksuits, white socks and hats.

“It’s a lot like drag, but at the other end of the spectrum,” Scally Lad Phil Hamill tells Vice. “A lot of guys in this scene have normal jobs, like working in an office or a bar — they’re not selling drugs from a council flat — so it’s a form of release. It’s roleplay, pretending to be something different to what you are.”

Scally Lads like doing really filthy things, like smelling one another’s sweaty gym socks or jizzing into each other’s stinky sneakers. And they have no reservations when it comes to getting it on in dark alleys or public restrooms.

Hamill continues: “You’ll never have sex in a bed. That’s so normal; it’s the missionary position, vanilla. I like to meet up with a guy in a pub, have a few pints, and then go fuck in the toilets. I know some guys who won’t have sex at all—they’ll just wank off together because they think it’s how straight lads would do it.”

Much like the handkerchief code of the ’70s and ’80s, Scally Lads have their own method of communication. Track suit bottoms tucked into white sweat socks is the universal sign for a chap looking to engage in some nasty behavior.

The fetish has become so popular that there are now entire NSFW websites devoted it, including UKScallyLads.comSketBoy.com, and SneakerSex.net.

So what do you think? Could you see yourself hooking up with a Scally Lad?