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Self-Touchy Rev. Grant Storms Insists He Wasn’t Masturbating, Just Warming Up His Groin With A Hand In His Underwear

Rev. Grant Storms, the Louisiana pastor arrested for jerking it in a public park while looking atkids, is so sorry u guyz. Holding a press conference after he was charged (and released due to jail overcrowding), Storms says wants “to apologize deeply for my inappropriate, sinful actions.” And while Storms insists he was not masturbating at the park (he was sitting in his fan with his pants undone and his hand in his underwear), he does acknowledge he was looking at porn an hour before. “That nature of my problem is pornography.” But it’s not like the church is going to throw him out: He’s no longer affiliated with the church that led the protest against Southern Decadence. And he’s sorry for leading such a hateful existence, too. Now tell us, Rev. Storms: What kind of porn were you watching?