A new Reddit thread asks hetero guys the question many of us are dying to know: “As a straight guy, what’s the gayest thing you’ve done?”
The thread was posted just yesterday and has already garnered over 7,000 responses.
“I’m a professional body piercer,” one guy writes. “I touch other dudes’ dicks all the time.”
Hmmm. We’re not sure that qualifies as “gay”, but OK.
How about we take this to the next level?
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“Lost my phone, thought my friend took it because he had a bulge in his pants, grabbed said bulge, handful of dick,” another guy says.
Also not gay, but whatever.
“Once, my friend group decided to skinny dip and play truth or dare,” a third guy writes. “The girls wanted to see how far us guys would go so they kept daring us to do shit like make out, touch each other’s dicks, etc. For me personally, I made out with another guy, and one of the guys kissed my dick.”
That’s slightly gayer, we suppose.
“I gave a guy a hand job,” another guy confessions.
That’s definitely gay.
“Got a BJ from one of my best friends who is gay,” yet another one says. “Nothing like getting a BJ from a guy to realize that you are definitely not even bisexual, but after 2 and a half year dry spell a BJ is a BJ.”
That, too, is definitely gay.
“I made out with and got a handjob from a fraternity brother of mine. He asked if he could ‘put it in his mouth’, at which point I decided I was no longer bi-curious,” yet another one writes.
That is undeniably gay.
Then there’s this, which is sweet:
My friends and I were all in a bathroom together, and we were really hyped up for some reason, and we showed each other our wieners. Oddly enough I think it made us better friends.
Also this:
On deployment in the Marine Corps. I was laying in the desert next to my team leader under a perfect sky. All the stars were out and the air felt like the shade on a hot day. Him and I talked calmly about our families, our dreams, and how perfect the sky looked and how small that made us. “Hold my hand” he said. I could feel, without touching, that his arm was extending. Over the course of the following second I contemplated my whole existence before half consciously reaching out to him. His hand felt nice and we said nothing. This lasted for maybe 10 minutes until we fell asleep.
And, lastly, this might be the gayest thing a straight guy has ever done ever in the history of straight guys doing gay things:
On-stage kiss with another guy for a musical production.
We’re surprised that didn’t turn him gay forever!
Related: Why more straight guys are going to all-male jerk-off clubs
acna64
You do gay things your gay. End of story.
Greg
Your gay what?
xanadude
I call BS
@HarryB at q-meet.us
Real truth
djmcgamester
Really? What about all the gay guys who come out after being married and having kids? By your definition, they’re actually straight and so shouldn’t bother with the gay thing at all.
Doug
Not sure if the Marine Corps story is actually true, but I thought it was very moving.
nitejonboy
I know,right ? I almost teared up a little. This guy gets a nod from me. He definitely comes across as a good guy.
Raymond Saint-Pierre
This isn’t even “gay!” It’s simply two soldiers bonding during a break in combat and there’s a lot of that! Some of that bonding is even physically sexual, but it’s situational; more inherently derived from just being human and shared experience than any determined sexuality! I have both seen and experienced it enough over decades to know the difference. I’m @JurassicQueer and 90% of my interactions within or with military personnel have had more to do with companionship than a sexual relationship. Those instances where sex has occurred are usually a one-time incident, rarely repeated if even mentioned.
The same way my probable once sleeping with a woman could ever make me consider myself heterosexual; this article in true Queerty style conflates and then click baits incidents into some nebulous stereotype which just demean those involved, imho.
Greg
The only things that seemed gay were the hand jobs and blow jobs. When that guy’s friend asked him to put it in his mouth. He said he was no longer bi-curious. Does that mean he went for it or he didn’t do it and lost all interest? I like when straight guys say “bi-curious”. Bi-curious would mean then want a three-way with a man and a woman. They are actually “gay curious”. They’re looking to be with a guy only. Handling a dick while performing a job isn’t gay. Neither is an on-stage kiss for a musical production. That’s acting.
PinkoOfTheGange
None are “gay” some are same sex, or homosexual, experiences. Being “gay” requires both sex and an emotional component. Holding hands isn’t sex unless u r six; enjoying a blowie from a bud is just sex not sexuality.
Bi-curious doesn’t require a three way. All it requires is experimenting with the opposite sex than you think you are attracted to.
lovethyneighbor
Lol. Your saying it’s okay to have homosexual “experiences” as long as you don’t have an emotional attachment? Well, if you’re best friends with another guy, and you get a BJ, there is an emotional attachment of some kind. Why not just go to a male sex club and get a BJ anonymously? Better yet, why not go to a straight sex club and get a BJ anonymously? I’m glad to hear you say it’s only an homosexual experience rather than being gay because of the
elimination of the emotional component; however, I think you are kidding yourself if you think getting a BJ at a frat party or from a friend doesn’t have an emotional connection. Men, who have sex with men, are considered homosexual. Men, who like to have sex with other men and women, are bisexual. Men, who only want sex with women, are heterosexual. Bisexual doesn’t mean you want to have a threesome with a man and women at the same time as separate sexual encounters with a male and a female still meets the bisexual definition. By the way, if you are using bicurious after you are an adult, it simply means you are either into both sexes or know you desire sex with men only. By the time you are an adult, you should know what turns your crank.
QueerTruth
“Bi-curious doesn’t require a three way. All it requires is experimenting with the opposite sex than you think you are attracted to….”
That’s a one confusing sentence and it doesn’t really ad up.
Bi-curious means you are simply curious about exploring same sex action.
1898
“Being “gay” requires both sex and an emotional component”
i know a lot of gay guys whose sex lives consist solely of no-strings-attached anonymous sex, with no emotional component whatsoever. does that mean they aren’t gay? i don’t think so…
PinkoOfTheGange
@lovethyneighbor: Fleeing safe is not the same thing as an emotional connection. As a community we even make a distinction between partners a friends with benefits.
Didn’t say anything about bi-sexuality and Greg, above is the one that equated it to a three-way.
There is no age limit on being bi-curious, only the number of uses.
Stuff your condescending tone btw..
@QueerTruth If one id’s as gay or lesbian and are curious about an opposite sex hook-up they would be bi-curious.
@1898: Anecdotal from emotionally crippled sources.
QueerTruth
Another Reddit hetero/homo fantasy.
Can we stop with this? It’s so unhealthy for the gay psyche.
Curtispsf
Dear Reddit: I am an 18 year old guy and I have a twin. I am gay but my twin identifies as straight. I have fantasies ALL the time about having sex with my brother. Recently, I checked out photos and videos on his phone and most are dick pics and videos of two (or more) guys having sex. Should I ask him about this or just get him drunk to loosen his inhibitions? Oh yeah, I forgot. I have caught my Dad watching me several times when I’ve been masturbating and although I couldn’t see him from the waist down, it appeared that he was jerking off while watching me. My dad is hung and so am I. Should I ask him to join in a 3 way with me and my brother, or would that be crossing a line?
iowadude
@Curtispsf – Yeah I read the pervy parts of Nifty too, but I think you’re in the wrong story here
QueerTruth
Seek help. Or stop posting incest fantasies. It’s disturbing.
djmcgamester
Sounds made up or just some kind of fantasy. I have no doubt incest occurs but your scenario seems borderline impossible.
djmcgamester
Opinion time: J/O clubs exist where guys go to masturbate in front of others and also give or get a handjob. A fair amount of the guys are straight. I don’t think this makes them gay. It’s just about getting off without the baggage of a relationship.
As for the Marines, I like that story best because it’s devoid of any sex. That was intimacy on a deeper level. Does that make either of them gay? I don’t know. Could simply because they’re in the desert and have been under fire often. Sometimes it’s just nice to connect with someone and know you’re not alone.
Some stuff doesn’t need to be figured out, so long as you’re not hurting anyone. I think sexuality is too complex to fully understand. I’ve done things like make out with and massage a woman’s breasts (outside of a gay bar) and suck on a woman’s breasts (at a house party, over a decade after coming out). Yes, I was drunk both times, but I wouldn’t say those actions make me bisexual. They were just some things I did that had no emotional attachment.
Tombear
A guy kisses another dude in a musical production that both dudes were cast member. That is SO gay and I don’t mean that negatively!