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HORSE PLAY

The A-List: Dallas Recap: “You’re Not Fat, You’re Just Hydrated”

By Daniel Villarreal November 30, 2011 at 4:11pm · 11 comments · Updated on February 2, 2012

Ashley’s permissiveness may have been due to the fact that she wants him to help her babysit James out on the dude ranch for an afternoon to introduce him to sunshine and fresh air rather than the stale fumes of a nightclub at the 2:00 a.m. sidewalk sale. He agrees but the attempt has no discernible effect. James shows no apparent appreciation that his friends are looking out for him and boasts in a confessional interview that he’s brought along his flask. He also pokes mean-spirited fun at Ashley, James and cohort Brayden, who is a scream and whose flouncing affectations enliven each episode for a moment or two.

Tags: Gay Video & Lesbian Movies, Logo: Fierce TV

Afterwards, Ashley “volun-tells” the boys—a combination of “telling” them they have been “volunteered” for something, which is kind of clever—that they will be required to participate in a bachelor auction to raise needed funds for a new charity called Compassion 54 that assists with HIV/AIDS outreach in Africa. Levi rolls with it; James rolls his eyes. While Levi offers to take a buyer for an afternoon of riding—presumably he meant horses, but with Levi you never know¬—James notes the only skill he has is getting hammered. No one disagrees.

Ashley meets with the four guys who founded Compassion 54. They’re all handsome and easygoing and also a bit taken aback, it appears, by Ashley’s passive-aggressive charms as well as the cameras accompanying her. The nonprofit is operating on a shoestring budget and doesn’t have the resources to stage Ashley’s elaborate bachelor auction. They suggest something more manageable, like speed dating. To her credit, Ashley doesn’t whine and enthusiastically backs the idea. It should be easy to shoehorn her gay posse and all of their pals and cohorts into attending, right? Wrong.

The speed-dating event arrives and the Compassion 54 guys are crushed when virtually no one attends. Phillip and Levi are nowhere to be found. Chase has brought along a few acquaintances, but when a frustrated Ashley asks about the whereabouts of his boyfriend-lover-whatever, Chase is defensive and pissy with her.

Elsewhere, James is already pounding down the hooch. Taylor the Terrible is also present, twirling his imaginary mustache and plotting revenge. His every appearance should be accompanied by some kind of telenovela melodramatic flourish on the soundtrack. He and James and Chase sulk and whine—a bored Chase also makes out with another hunky speed-dater—and lob passive-aggressive insults at each other.

Pages: 1 2 3 4
A-List: Dallas Dallas JC Adams Logo Reality Television Recap
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11 Comments

  • TxBorn

    Has anyone else noticed Levi’s “Parkinson’s like” body & facial movements?

    November 30, 2011 at 5:11pm
  • Juan

    Have to admit, this was a boring episode. Pat yourself on the back for struggling out the re-cap. But, if you didn’t recap, I would have been so disappointed. You wit is fab.

    Heard Levi’s bar fight was not due to ALD haters, but Levi haters. They didn’t like his arrogance.

    So sick of Chase, he’s getting fugglier by the scene. His snarling, Taylor-hating is just getting soooooo boring. Man is he jealous of that little twink. In the preview, it looked like Levi was going to kiss Taylor… and why would Taylor want someone that stated many times and ways how he hated him? Of course, we all saw through that, but still – run, Taylor, run! Find another, better storyline and a cowboy with a brain and heart. Chase and Levi deserve each other, leave them to it, that would be the most victorious or revenges.

    Damn this story it’s addicting, as are your recaps.

    November 30, 2011 at 7:11pm
  • Casper

    I’ve been reading these since Queerty started re-capping A-List. Gotta say, I feel like Chase is the real villain of the show. Preachy, Witchy and just Gross. He needs to back off from those v-necks and those tacky hair styles.

    Haven’t seen this episode yet ’cause logotv takes it’s time online. But looking forward to it.

    Why is everyone into Levi? He’s chubby and a drunk. And James reminds me of an ex-boyfriend- that guy needs to man up and grow up. I hope these men realize their the main attraction at the zoo, not some interesting ground-breaking tv personality.

    Ashley and Taylor – they’re the only normal ones!!

    November 30, 2011 at 10:11pm
  • lovesagr8smile

    @TxBorn: I am glad someone else has noticed and said something- I thought I was going crazy. I didnt recognize it as parkisons like, but it certainly is very noticeable, And I know that most take great sport in hating on Levi and everyone else, but I thought it was really sad when he found out his issues with his back I find the dallas show more entertaining than new york

    November 30, 2011 at 10:11pm
  • lovesagr8smile

    While I am at it- my pet peeve with the show is their use of the word “like” I feel like taking a shot everytime one of them uses it, but I would be tanked 6 minutes into the show

    December 1, 2011 at 12:12am
  • timncguy

    @Casper: @Casper: Oh my Casper. Ashley and Taylor are the :normal” ones???? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL No way. All Ashley does is run around sticking her nose in other people’s business. And Taylor, gay republican!!!! Nothing normal about that…..

    December 1, 2011 at 12:12am
  • shannon

    LEVI….is ——————–DISGUSTING————WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON THAT SHOW??????? WHY DO THEY LIKE HIM? SPASTIC…ACNE FACED….FAT….NO ASS….CROSS EYED….CROOKED NOSE……DRUNK…..SWEATY….CROOKED TEEF…..YUCK!!

    December 1, 2011 at 1:12am
  • MKe

    I have no interest in ever watching this show with all the bizarre in-fighting they’ve brought to the gay community. No thanks.

    December 1, 2011 at 7:12am
  • andy

    Taylor should enjoy the attention while he has it. He’s a cute puppy but he’s going to grow up to be an ugly dog.

    December 1, 2011 at 9:12am
  • Matt

    I really can’t stand James’ facial expressions and mannerisms. Just the way he presents and talks is so…just…annoying!

    December 1, 2011 at 9:12pm
  • Brian Wells

    should read:
    “The speed-dating event arrives[insert comma] and the Compassion 54 guys are crushed when virtually no one attends.”

    December 2, 2011 at 1:12pm

Comments are closed.

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