The A-List: Dallas Recap: “You’re Not Fat, You’re Just Hydrated”

Once again, the onscreen antics of Logo’s The A-List: Dallas have been eclipsed by real-life drama. Castmate Levi Crocker was apparently attacked at a gay bar in Oklahoma City over the weekend. As reported by Queerty, this is the third act of alleged violence against an ALD cast member in two months.

Way on the other end of the spectrum, a snippet of Ashley’s wackadoo photo shoot from last week’s episode was selected for a bit of mockery as the “Clip of the Week” on E!’s The Soup with Joel McHale.

Episode eight of ALD is essentially a placeholder for two storylines running parallel: the first involves Ashley’s well-intentioned but ultimately futile attempts to nudge insecure partyboy and burgeoning alcoholic James towards a healthier lifestyle. The second storyline details the continued entanglement of Chase and Taylor the Terrible, the show’s ostensible villain, as they spar and snap their teeth at each other over the affections of Levi, whose cowboy pheromones are puzzlingly addictive. No real progress is made on either storyline but the internecine warfare is amusing.

The episode opens with Ashley luring Levi on a shopping trip to pick up a pair of cowboy boots, preferably in pink. (It is The A-List: Dallas, after all. Gotta stick to the stereotype.) The shopping was just a pretense to confront the laconic horndog for lying to her about cheating on Taylor with Chase. He shrugs it off, ever conflict-avoidant, and advises her to mind her own business. Levi, that’s not how this process works. You’ve forgotten that you are on a reality-TV show. Levi has been on the receiving end of quite a few of these types of conversations in his life and he just doesn’t care enough to change his behavior. No one else in his orbit seems to notice; perhaps it’s the pheromones.

You have to give Ashley credit for not letting her friends off the hook when they behave badly. Her outmoded notions of what it means to be a gay male can be infuriating, and her ostentatious displays of praise for Jeebus are often annoying. But she clearly does not forgive and forget. She can tell Levi does not take her concerns seriously but gives him another chance anyway. Dare I say it: she turns the other cheek.