"Girls" Talk

The “Girls” Emotional Age Recap: “Beach House”

I’m going to admit something that I didn’t think I’d ever admit in these recaps: I’ve kind of hated Girls for a solid season and a half. Maybe longer. I was sure I would slog on for the remainder of the series, watching and writing and loathing. But this week provided a watershed moment where everyone got free of the city, got out of their own heads, and got real. I’m starting to worry that the change of scenery is what made it good. It’s going to be a problem if this whole time I’ve actually just hated Greenpoint, given that I live in Greenpoint. Regardless, the point is that the ladies all took a trip to a beach house and truth got told and I was riveted.

s3e07 hannah

Emotional Age: self-parody

Let’s look at the facts: Hannah has no idea where it is appropriate to wear a bathing suit, would rather bring a group of loud gays to her house (after being specifically asked not to invite guests) than talk to her friends, and is so caught up in her own needs that she compulsively turns every insult hurled at her into a statement about her personal strengths and successes. That last one is especially impressive, given how harsh the observations get during the drunken post-dinner showdown. All in all, her choices are so typical of her that she could be diagnosed with Horvath’s Syndrome.

s3e07 marnie

Emotional Age: self-parody

There isn’t a moment that goes by this week where Marnie isn’t trying to control everything while looking pretty. Assigning rooms? Controlling, looking pretty. Planning activities? Controlling, looking pretty. Talking about her breakup? Controlling, looking pretty. She even orchestrates the climactic fight by referencing her own mastermind tendencies, meticulously critiquing Hannah’s dance performance as a means of highlighting her own perfection while steering the discussion toward disaster. She has never been more Marnie than this day.

s3e07 shoshanna

Emotional Age: self-parody

You’ve gotta be kidding me. This was such prime Shosh that I almost high-fived my TV. She starts out like the overly literal little dormouse we’ve grown to adore, refusing to buy items that aren’t on the grocery list and getting confused about whether or not she likes duck. Then drinks get poured and the library is open all night. Her scathing reads sliced her housemates thinner than Marnie’ julienned vegetables. Everyone is shocked by the wickedly candid insights Shoshanna delivers, but if they’d been reading these recaps, they’d have known all along.

s3e07 jessa

Emotional Age: self-parody

She sits at the back of the bus “for political reasons” and then befriends an orthodontist who frankly seems like the kind of person she’d hate. She uses rehab as an excuse to pressure Hannah into drinking. She directs what I assume she thinks is alluring sexual attention toward one of the gayest men on the planet. Even when everyone else is furious she can barely muster more than peevish boredom. Those of you hoping for weird, inappropriate, disconnected Jessa hit the jackpot this week.