The Three Reasons Why Michele Bachmann Is Heading For The Exit

Some good news is so good that it makes you a little sad. Today’s case in point: Michele Bachmann’s announcement that she won’t be running for re-election next year. It’s a mighty fall for the Tea Party darling who just two years ago was a presidential candidate in the Bizarro universe of Republican politics.

Bachmann is positioning her decision as a commitment to term limits. In fact, deciding to quit now — you can’t say while she’s ahead–may be the first proof ever that Bachmann is occasionally conversant with reality. Because the political reality is that Michele is dead in the water. Here are three reasons why:

1. An investigation into her presidential campaign finances. Nothing spells political death like the drip-drip-drip of a long-running investigation. The Office of Congressional Ethics (yes, an oxymoron but it exists) is looking into how Michele spent her campaign money. In particular, the investigators are interested in whether Bachmann used money from her political action campaign improperly. Things got even juicier a couple weeks ago when the FBI decided to join in the investigation.

2. A good chance of losing reelection. Bachmann barely held onto her congressional seat last year, even as her district went heavily for Romney. This time, Democrats were heavily investing in a rematch. Ironically, Michele’s departure may have saved the seat for the GOP.

3. Diminished influence. Now that the Tea Party is in its twilight, Michele has a lot less clout. Compounding that is that she was never a powerhouse inside the Beltway. As Politico puts it, “In the Capitol, the Minnesota Republican never proved herself a savvy legislative operator, or even a real factor in the rough and tumble of Congressional brawling.” In a nice twist, her biggest legislative accomplishment this term has been a classic bridge-building project that critics called pork-barrel spending.

Michele, of course, insists that she could win re-election and that she is confident of the ethics of her actions. But that’s not what her decision says. Her decisions says she’s getting out while the getting’s good, because pretty soon her departure may not be on her own terms. We might have missed some extra humiliation if she waited. What we won’t miss is Michele.

Photo credit: Gage Skidmore

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  • Cam

    Maybe she or her husband, or bother were about to be outed. That would be a nice ending to her time there. :)

  • Bob LaBlah

    @Cam: You suspected the same thing about this painfully OBVIOUS closeted lesbian too, huh? I simply can NOT see her smiling after sex with a man.
    What could be more fitting for her than learn she needs mental health care, be denied healthcare coverage by a private insurer due to PRE-EXISTING conditions, and then HAVE to apply for Obamacare? It would serve her right. I doubt she lasts more than two weeks on Fox Noise due to the disastrous ratings of ol’ Sister Sarah Palin (everyone with what could pass for a brain reached for the remote when she came on). Rush will probably mention her but NOT have her on his show. And that will probably have more to do with keeping the Tea Party’s ignorant members quiet and not lose what is left of his audience. An audience and ideology I am beginning to believe even HE is tiring of. It wasn’t too long ago even HE, Rush Limbaugh, spoke up and told the republicans to move on with the gay marriage opposition. Yes, folks. Old brother windbag is tiring of these people like Michele Bachman.

  • Cam

    @Bob LaBlah:

    LOL! Oh, if only it could come true. lol

  • mcflyer54

    Believe me there is a smoking gun. Michele Bachmann did not decide not to run for reelection for any reason other than something is about to be exposed that would ruin what little political career she might have left. I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop – it’s going to happen mark my words.

  • Polaro

    Onlyy two reeal reasons:

    1. The money gravy train has ended.
    2. She’d actually end up losing and blowing the pile of cash she has accumulated.

    Or, just one reason: money, money, money.

  • CleJoke

    Now her husband can divorce her and go get married in one of our twelve states. LOL

  • dvlaries

    No, I suspect Sarah Palin finally made that overdue, helpful phone call:
    “Girl, quit stalling and get out. The [i]real[/i] money is in books and Fox News. Do you have a daughter who can get knocked up? There’s a reality show right there, and maybe Dancing With The Stars too… And you won’t have to drag Marcus with you everywhere no more…”

  • Caleb in SC

    @dvlaries: LMFAO!!! Well, even Palin is no longer politically relevant. The sad thing with these types of people; they don’t realize when their time has come and gone. Palin’s continued attempts to seem like a political force make her appear even more pathetic then she actually is. Bachmann will follow suit.

  • kingkuy

    @dvlaries: you hit the nail on the head. why go through all the under handed means of money grabbing when you can just get paid to show up places…

    works for most celebrities

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