You know how some movies are so bad, they’re good? Well, it turns out, I Know Who Killed Me is not one of those movies.
The 2007 film, which came out 15 years ago this week and stars Lindsay Lohan, tells the story of Aubrey, a creative writer who gets abducted and tortured by a serial killer but escapes. When found, she re-emerges as Dakota, a tough-as-nails b*tch who is also a stripper for no reason!
When my editor first asked me to watch this movie, I was stoked. You see, I’ve been a Lindsay Lohan stan for as long as I can remember. Though she’s only four years older than me, Lindsay played a very formative role in my upbringing as a pop culture-obsessed homosexual. When it was released in 1999, The Parent Trap became my religion. In 2003, Freaky Friday became my bible. And then in 2004, holy sh*t, Mean Girls became my father, son, and holy spirit.
But then, something changed by 2007. Culture as we knew it was changed forever, and lil’ LiLo was no longer so little. As Mashable says, 2007 was “a lot of pop culture insanity.”
But nothing was as insane as the release of I Know Who Killed Me. If you haven’t seen it, literally don’t bother. The movie is a hot mess from beginning to end. The plot is incoherent, the dialogue laughable, and many of the transitions between scenes have me convinced this movie was edited in MS Paint.
There’s also flashbacks to Lindsay’s stripper days. Gross skin peeling off fingers. An FBI subplot that is literally forgotten about halfway through the movie (???). A weirdly long scene where Lindsay has loud sex upstairs, which her mom listens to while aggressively cleaning the kitchen downstairs (could you not tell them to stop, go to another room, or like, leave the house?!).
The only redeeming part is when Lindsay uses a search engine to diagnose herself (which listen, we’ve all been there).
As crazy bad as I Know Who Killed Me was, there was some equally crazy sh*t surrounding the movie’s release. Here’s some of the juiciest behind-the-scenes tidbits we were able to find…
Lindsay was arrested 3 days before the movie’s release.
Anyone who’s anyone knows that 2007 was not a good year for pop stars (We love you, Britney!), and this included Lindsay Lohan. On July 24, mere days before I Know Who Killed Me hit theaters, Lohan was arrested and charged with drunken driving, cocaine possession and driving with a suspended license.
According to the film’s writer, Jeff Hammond, Lohan’s personal life took a toll on the film.
“Lindsay Lohan’s issues were front and center in the media, and the negative critical consensus seemed to be firmly in place before the movie even opened,” he said.
“Lindsay was scheduled to be on Jay Leno on Wednesday before our Friday opening—an appearance that I’d been assured would give a big boost to our box office. But she had to cancel her appearance, for reasons that elevated her tabloid profile to spectacular new heights.”
He continued, “It seemed like the world had it in for her. It was ugly. Our movie was collateral damage. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to be Lindsay Lohan during this period. Do you think we would have won all those Razzies with any other Aubrey/Dakota but her?”
I mean, probably… This movie is a literal dumpster fire.
Lindsay was not a fan of I Know Who Killed Me.
According to The Daily Mail, Lindsay hated her own movie. During a 2013 Twitter Q&A from rehab (which LOL, iconic), Lindsay s*t-talked IKWKM when a fan told her they’d watched it twice in one night.
“Two times too many!” she responded.
I Know Who Killed Me was originally meant to end differently.
If you bought IKWKM on DVD, first, I’m sorry. Second, apparently there is an alternate ending on the discs that reveal the entire movie was not real and was in fact, a college student’s script. However, this ending was cut after test audiences found it “too predictable” which, go figure.
Sadly, the alternate ending is nowhere to be found online, so guess you’ll need to buy the DVD after all!
The film’s writer never wrote another movie.
One look at Jeff Hammond’s IMDB page, and you’ll see he never wrote another movie (or anything else for that matter) after the psychological thriller was released.
“As you can imagine, my confidence as a writer was shaken by the reception for IKWKM,” he told Top Shelf, Low Brow, a pop culture-based newsletter.
On opening day, the writer recalled seeing the movie in a “nearly empty” theater, which he said was “dispiriting” and “painful.”
“It felt to me like the most terrible fate that ever befell a movie,” he said in the same interview. “I internalized the criticism, and lived with it, in diminishing degrees of intensity, for a number of years after.”
That said, Hammond said he’s inspired by the fact that people are still discussing and writing about the film a more than a decade after its release.
Hey, now that Lindsay’s career appears to be on the rebound, perhaps we can get a sequel? We could call it I Know Who Killed Me, Too.
Boom, it’s decided!
Warning: I Know Who Killed Me is not streaming anywhere for free. Rent it at your own risk.