Warning: do not try this at home. Any of it. Ever.

In a video that’s rapidly spreading across social media, a gay New Zealand man gets the television debut we can only assume he’s always dreamt of.

There’s just one hitch — the show he queens his way onto happens to be a police reality program called Police Ten 7, and the officer he rubs his rear end on is very much a real cop.

“I’ve got no meth on me, but if I pulled out a bag of sugar would you put me on TV,” he asks after excitedly running up to the camera in heels and glitter-glam shoulder pads.

We had to check to make sure this wasn’t a cleverly packaged Reno 911! spinoff.

“Look, police of New Zealand are comfortable with the homosexual population,” he says as he rubs himself on the officer. “That’s good, that’s good.”

It bears repeating: Never, ever do anything remotely resembling what you are about to see:

https://www.facebook.com/PoliceTen7/videos/10155909973223296/

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