You know, besides the “having to work out” part.
For some gay men, the gym is part social calendar, part lifestyle requirement, and part de-stress-er. And while we love getting our regular endorphin rush, there are a number of things we absolutely detest about the gym. Or rather, gym culture.
Among them:
• Locker room cruising (though we know this to be some gym-goers primary reason for even having a membership)
• Guys who, while watching TV on the elliptical, burst out into uncontrollable laughter
• People who do not wipe the sweat off the machines or mats they use
• Ultra-tight clothing on ultra-un-fit guys; ultra-revealing clothing (you know how short those shorts are) on anybody
• Trainers, whose career is to make people fit, that are the least fit people on the floor (do not tell me to do 50 more jumping jacks when you have a double chin and a spare tire)
• Trainers who treat their clients as sounding boards for their personal problems (who’s paying who here?)
• Chatty Cathys
• Anybody resembling this
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Surely this little list doesn’t include some of your gym pet peeves. What are they?
Nate
I hate it when the really hot guy on the treadmill in front of me is either heterosexual, not into me, or has a cute boyfriend. Oh and when you see an acquaintance from wherever and they don’t get that all you wanted to do was nod at them in acknowledgement instead of having them come over and chat.
ggreen
People that insist on eating tons of garlic or curry and then working up a sweat on the treadmill next to me, Fuck you, you stink go home and sweat it out with your pig boyfriend.
Folks that never clean their gym clothes. PU
Gossipy queens that flit from station to station spreading gossip and femininity. They really came to the gym to exercise their mouths only.
Pudgy people who insist on baring their ugly midriffs (usually females).
Sing along I-pod users.
Or the loud grunters who insist on letting everyone know they have achieved a personal best. Ughha…ughha…WOW.
Tom
I hate having to go. I would much rather take a pill and be fit, hard body and energy to party/play all night.
Jeremy
Sure the guys are hot, but going to the gym is like having every body image issue you ever had reinforced. Seriously, some of these guys could floss their teeth with me, how the eff am I supposed to keep up with that? Also, uncessary grunting. Unless you’re lifting triple your weight, there is no reason to release a Howard Dean scream.
michael
Guys whose entire lives appear completely wrapped up on their physical appearance. I love a hot guy as much as the next but
narcissism is the most unattractive character trait a human can have.
hell's kitchen guy
ask a silly question …
David Hauslaib, Queerty
Worth noting: If it weren’t for “guys whose entire lives appear completely wrapped up on their physical appearance,” we wouldn’t have very many Morning Goods to offer, would we?
Sean
People who talk o their cell phones while on the elliptical.
Scott
Easy: when that really hot guy who I’ve been hitting on for EVER takes off his shirt and runs for an hour on the treadmill right in front of mine. It’s gotta be deliberate…
Jaroslaw
Luckily people are clean and considerate at the gym I go to and I don’t recall a lot of garlic or curry. but (sigh) it is a love-hate relationship for me. No matter how hard I work out -I’ll never be as good looking at most of those guys. So while it is fun to look, it is sad too. And those darn guys never go to the showers without being wrapped in a towel. 🙂
Scott- no one ever takes their shirt off at my gym – maybe I need to switch with you!
JJ JJ
* People who do not wipe or clean the equipment (as noted)
* Gym owners who do not take cleanliness seriously and let the gym become a germ
* People who think that washing their workout clothes once a month is enough …. *gag*
* People who choose to drink a ton then work it out (smell like a brewery), eat curry or garlic and choose to work it out (stink)
* People who think that cologne at the gym is a good idea (cologne + BO … gag)
Sam
What I hate about my gym is that there aren’t nearly enough Morning Goods-esque hotties there.
Jere
There is a special room in hell for the 120 pound girls who walk on the treadmill while gossiping with their best friend for 45 minutes while there’s a line of people waiting to get a machine. If you’re not sweating (or at least breathing hard), you’re wasting everyone’s time.
hisurfer
Guys, that last picture was so inappropriate! I think … it … might appear in my nightmares tonight. I love muscles, but that was just wrong.
My gym sounds pretty mellow compared to what you guys are talking about! The only regular peeve is the guys who lift so close to the weight rack that no one else can get in to take a weight themselves.
The old guy who lives in the sauna is pretty creepy, too.
Stenar
I really love going to the gym, but strictly to work out.
The main thing that makes me uncomfortable about my gym is not entirely to do with the gym. The 24 Hour Fitness near my house just happens to be across from a park that is a major cruising area in Salt Lake City. Every time I drive in/out of the parking garage, the guys in the minivans with child carseats in the back are parked across the street staring at every car that drives past hoping for a hookup. It’s like this gay-Mormon-married gauntlet you have to pass through to get into the gym.
Also, I basically just go to the gym to get my workout done and go home, I’m not there to socialize, so it’s annoying when every acquaintance says to me the next time they see me around town, “Why didn’t you say hello to me at the gym?” Sorry, but I don’t talk to anyone at the gym. That’s not what I’m there for. I know a lot of people so, this happens a lot. :/
And I don’t really go near the hot tub or sauna in the evening because what’s taking place there is definitely not what I’m there for.
I’m not a prude, I have a healthy sex life, I just don’t choose to pursue a sex life in the gym.
CitizenGeek
I’m kind of looking forward to my first gym membership now (I’m 17, plus in my medium-sized Irish town, there aren’t very many gyms) 🙂
TBSJR
People who just sit on machines while talking on there cell phone
revealing clothes on both men and women who should cover up a bit
People who tell anyone who will listen about the amount a weight they lost and the supplments they take
not wiping down the equipment is really gross
Qjersey
Guys who totally ignore you
1) …to the point of making eye contact and then looking away….and then a few months later when your “results” start to show ….now look back (this one is me)
2) until they see you in the shower or getting changed and decide that your cock is hotter than your body (or face). (this one has happened to a friend of mine I”ll simply call “pony boy”).
Richard Adams
Gym owners that rip you off via making unauthorized charges on your credit card(s). This has happened to me several times within the past year.
Gyms that want to convince you that hiring one of their under-qualified and over-priced personal training staff is the only way to achieve your fitness goals.
Tonic
It’s probably that even if there weren’t “guys whose entire lives appear completely wrapped up on their physical appearance,†we would still have many Morning Goods…they would just be with more realistic looking, fit guys (which, to me, is hotter anyway).
Matt
When the hot guys at my gym come up and say, “I need that equipment more than you do. You need to get off it.”; instead of saying, “how many more sets do you have or can I work in”.
ILOVEZ
I hate every tight outfit on very NON-fit person.
It is just not right!
http://www.ilovezeren.com
BootsieGee
Things that bug the crap out me:
Women who insist on bringing a huge bag with them and laying on the floor next to the cardio equipment I am using, along with their coat and sweat shirt, especially during the winter months. I have told more than one that I sweat and that it is likely to drip on their bag.
People who bring the entire Sunday paper with them and the proceed to drop the pages they have read on the floor.
Trolls who never work out but who practice what I call the gay trifecta – steam – shower – sauna. Even more annoying is the look you can get if you bust in on someone doing the dirty-dirty in the sauna. Like you should know better than to use the sauna for post workout recovery.
Gee, I guess I had a lot more pent up rage on this subject than I thought.
Chris
Umm, hello, what about people who don’t wear flip-flops when using the locker-room facilities? Especially when they proceed to use the urinals or stalls and then walk out and get dressed like they’re clean and good to go. Makes me want to puke!
Rowen
*Guys who get on a piece of equipment, proceed to take an hour to use it, and then get pissy when you ask if you can work in.
*Gay guys who assume that the entire world revolves around then, so that if you’re staring in their direction, you MUST be hitting on them. Which, of course, you aren’t attractive enough to do, so they start throwing attitude for no reason.
hells kitchen guy
“If it weren’t for “guys whose entire lives appear completely wrapped up on their physical appearance,†we wouldn’t have very many Morning Goods to offer, would we?”
Also worth noting: most guys who work out a lot are, in fact, smart and well rounded and most definitely disciplined.
Guys who complain about them working out too much are usually losers.
David
that crazy dude who wears a baseball cap, huge fake D&G sunglasses inside, nipple exposing tank tops and so much perfume/cologne that it make my eyes water. dude, you stink!!
Tweety
I have a few but my top 1 would be: People who do not restack the free weights in numerical order. The racks are even numbered to match the weights! It’s not that difficult to be considerate. Maybe it’s the Virgo in me.
Also, but I am kinda on the fence on this one, is the old men who lear at you in the locker room. On one hand, I hope that I am still interested in what’s going on under someone else’s gym shorts when I am 60 years old, but on the other hand, I they just remind me of “Father Feelaround,” which is gross.
afrolito
1. Dlist celebs who refuse to get naked in the locker room, and take a shower.
2. Fug trainers
3. unfit trainers
4. Trainers who won’t take no for an answer
5. Nosey maintenence people
6. People who talk loudly on cellphones in the locker room.
ggreen
A couple more things I thought of while at the gym today:
Gyms (Like Gold’s) that oversell memberships several times a year to people that come in and crowd the place doing something that doesn’t even resemble exercise.
Queens on the treadmill killing them selves (steep incline at 8 mph) while hanging arms or torsos over the top of the machine. (You are getting about half the work out the machine provides and you look ridiculous!) Treadmills don’t have arm-rests, try your recliner at home.
spunkbox
I hate ALL personal trainers. They are just more bio mass for me to avoid. Gym’s should charge much higher fees for people with trainers, they are in my way, all over every square inch. And if you don’t know how to work out alone by now dear, just stay home and be fat.
Rowen
HKG,
I’m not sure what gyms you’ve been going to, but if you’re looking for actual intelligence and a well roundedness that includes more then “I watch CNN while on the treadmill,” I’m not seeing it at the gym. Of course, I think that’s more of a problem with our modern day society.
Spunk,
When I first started at Gold’s, they gave me a few free training sessions. Some were horrible, some were ok, but it did give me a good starting point. Since then, I’ve talked to other people, and changed my workout, but I doubt I’d be where I am, now, without some form of training. That being said, there’s a lot of stupid, idiotic trainers out there who need to be shot.
Chet
@28
agreed. Old men who go to the gym for the express purpose of gawking at the young and nubile creep me out. Also annoying:
old/corpulent/sasquatch men who walk around the locker area without a towel.
Rikard
I run outside and have a machine and some free weights at home, but get curious about gym etiquette. Everyone’s comments help a lot. Evidently I don’t belong in a gym. I wear spandex shorts and anything I want because it’s not a fashion show. If I’m just getting them sweaty again tomorrow I don’t always wear clean clothes. I eat and drink what I want and sweat it out and burp and fart, because animals stink and no amount of OCD behavior will change that. I have to sympathize with Stenar in SLC. The minivan guys are creepy.
david
I hate that the towel guy blatantly points to his tip jar when I’m done.
I haven’t tipped him once since her started that.
david
Oops, “he,” not “her.”
Charley
I get paranoid and depressed in gyms. Mirrors everywhere. Balding dwarfs with hairy backs thinking they are hot, and when they open their mouths they sound and act like an 8 year old girl. Nothing to look at except other people, most of whom you are not interested in, and then being caught making eye contact with them, and their acting like you are interested. Sick. I had rather walk 10,000 steps a day outside.
Ray
my question is always, what motivates me to exercise more, really unfit people or really fit people? i think both make me do any extra 20 minutes of everything.
MattD
I workout on the campus I work at. Its 99% hetero so these stories are just fascinating to me. I went to a gay gym in WeHo as the guest of a friend once, the differences caused a culture shock.
As for what I don’t like…the overcrowding. I used to go in the mornings before work but lately that’s just not feasible. After work (around 5ish), the gym is SWARMING with people. After someone gets off a machine or goes somewhere else (without leaving some kind of marker to show they’ll be back) I have to swoop in to use the machine just to get a basic workout.
It’d be awesome if more gay guys showed up…the cruising and drama is just a part of the culture.
hisurfer
Ray – interesting question. The guys who motivate me the most are the ones who are super hot, but who also have bodies that I could, maybe, if I gave up donuts, achieve. The steroid boys and the genetically-blessed adoni and the 27 year-old hotties don’t motivate me so much, as I will never be one of them.
MTiffany
People talking on their cellphones drives me nuts. Seriously, if you’re not so rich that you can afford to build a gym in your own home, then your calls simply aren’t that important – that goes for doctors too. And speaking of doctors, doctors who are on call and expect that everyone will yield equipment to them because “Well, I’m a doctor, and I’m on call.” Go f*ck yourself, you self-important a-hole.
But most loathsome of all, girls on the elliptical machines talking very, very loudly on their cell phones about their upcoming wedding. The only person who thinks your wedding is interesting is you, you TW*T!
Craig
Most people at Castro Golds are pretty polite, but here are my pet peeves:
* The no-deodorant set (usually bears) that fetishize body odor and think that it smells manly when they work up such a stench that you can’t stand to be on a machine within 20 feet of them.
* Queens that read while working out and get so engrossed that they don’t realize they are resting for 10 minutes between sets while others are waiting
* Anyone that gets pissy when you ask if you can work in.
* Muscle marys that don’t bother to rack their weights, leaving others to unload 6 45-lb plates. C’mon girls, if you can lift it, you can put it away.
Tom
In addition to all the pet peeves listed above, I’d add:
1.) Guys who not only yell like steroided banshees when lifting heavy weights, but then drop them with thunderous clanks and bangs that resemble the amplified percussion section of an orchestra;
2.) The young lady I encounter periodically who hogs whatever piece of equipment she’s on for a half-hour, during which she might do two or three sets, while reading COSMO, sipping her designer water bottle, just sitting and resting, or watching t.v. in between, and who gives me attitude when I ask whether I can please work in.
barbarossa
People, usually men bit hetero and homo, who camp out on equipment. Men who take long-ass breaks between sets but then growl when you ask to work in. A-holes who take weights to all corners of the gym and just leave them there, while you’re wasting time trying to find another to match.
Leandro
Anoyone here from worcester, MA? Any good gyms in the area i can go to? Bally is wack to many hetero guys, Gold’s Gym yucky location and all the guys there look like Gorilla’s, Any Suggestions?
M Shane
i never go to gay gyms for many of the above reasons. Run outside; do what you can to feel good and be healthy. If you’re ment to be a chas atlas it’ll happen. It’s not an ego thing. Some peopleneed a diet and shrink worse than they need to work out.
RPCV
I’m surprised to see that so many gays claim to go to the gym sufficient to write about things they dislike there. The gays I typically see on the street, in bars, at parties, in bathrooms, and at events downtown, etc., by and large look like the word “gym” has never entered their lexicon.
Chad
a) crowds. Nothing worse than waiting and waiting for equipment to come free.
b) the skanky old guys who haunt the sauna/steam-room. Sorry fellas, no-one wants to play with you!
raquin
*People who complain about the fact that someone who is working out is overweight! Open your minds people! I hate the fact that as homosexuals, we are still ostracized by society, yet because someone at a gym is not thin or lean or muscular but trying to be healthy or trying to lose the weight, you treat them like they were lepers! Isn’t that reverse discrimination? The gym is a place to take care of your body, it is a luxury to look at hot guys at a gym, not a damned necessity!
*People who go to the gym to have sex. It is unhealthy not only for them, but for everyone at the gym. And then they get offended when they’re asked to stop, as if that’s the only reason that gyms exist.
And as for people who complain about people who smell of garlic and curry, get over it. People are working out, sweating, and getting rid of the toxins from their bodies, of course they’re going to smell offensively. If you want to smell people who will tickle your olfactory senses, visit the damn cologne counter at Bloomingdales.
ggreen
@49 Raquin:
Lets use that same “logic’ about garlic and curry with smokers. Curry and garlic odor is just as offensive as second hand smoke. But with your “logic†we should let smokers blow second hand smoke at us while we are exercising and just “get over itâ€.
GayBobVT
@50 GGreen… you’re kidding, right? I hope you put the word logic in quotes to indicate irony. Don’t know of many studies where people got cancer by inhaling garlic and curry exhaust fumes. Yeah, get over it.
hisurfer
Ah c’mon GayBob, you aren’t aware of all the millions of children who’ve died from second-hand curry?
Seriously, though, I don’t understand this whole ‘you can’t eat garlic or curry’ and go to the gym either. My gym has a lot of Asian FOB guys at it, so I’m going to assume there’s a lot of garlic, curry, and – even worse – fish sauce! in the system. I never really noticed anyone giving off garlic fumes on the treadmill.
raquin
ggreen said:
“@49 Raquin:
Lets use that same ‘logic’ about garlic and curry with smokers. Curry and garlic odor is just as offensive as second hand smoke. But with your ‘logic’ we should let smokers blow second hand smoke at us while we are exercising and just ‘get over it’.”
OMG!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! Oh my God, I need to catch my breath after reading that hilarious argument!!! Please tell me you were drunk or high when you made that statement. Please tell me that. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Second hand smoke and garlic sweat scent aren’t even in the same category for you to make that comparison. HAHAHAHA!!! I love fallacies.
Once again, everyone in the gym smells of sweat and body odor. That’s what happens when you work out. And personally, I would love to date a guy who smells of garlic and curry. It means he has a healthy diet. Garlic is a known cancer fighter and curry is good for your health. So complain all you want people, but just think about what people are probably saying about your body odor as you walk past. It’s a gym for gosh sakes not the damn men’s department at Nordy’s.
Devlin
Cardio
ggreen
This deep in the thread, it was bound to attract the bottom feeding commenters. Attacking others always makes you the “rightestâ€. Everyone has the right to an opinion in America, including #51, #52 & #53. It’s proof positive that the Internet has indeed reached the trailer parks of America.
joel
I never notice any really offensive smells besides cologne wearing guys so that would be my pet peeve. Also guys who wear sunglasses inside. But the one thing about my gym is that nobody seems to rerack with weights. Sometimes I feel like an employee at the gym as I search for various weights to use and then put them back in the correct place when I’m done. But for the most part once I start the music in my iPhone I don’t even notice the world around me.
raquin
ggreen said:
“This deep in the thread, it was bound to attract the bottom feeding commenters. Attacking others always makes you the ‘rightest’. Everyone has the right to an opinion in America, including #51, #52 & #53. It’s proof positive that the Internet has indeed reached the trailer parks of America.”
In stereotypical homosexual fashion, you are unhappy that someone challenged your opinion and so instead of taking the high road and arguing intelligently, you choose to be caddy and insult them. Typical. But as you said, everyone is entitled to their opinion.
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Invertartex
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rob
While i too do not like overly tight clothing on ANYONE dont come down so hard on those that are heavy. They are there to hopefully get rid of it. Frankly even fit queens shouldnt wear whore wear at a unisexuality gym. You may think its hot and fashionable but its really insecurity. Kinda of ashamed of my fellowvgay brothers who are still as shallow and judgemental as 16 year old girls.